Update on stepchild...Need advice on wedding now Please !

[Katy]

OK...I guess I'm going against popular opinion here, but I think you should invite him to your wedding. Not to walk you down the aisle, but at least invite him. I don't agree with how he's acted.......but at least invite him....then it's on him how he responds and whether he shows or not.

 

[Farmer Kitty]

He's had more than amble opportunity to be in your life and continues to not do so. I would not invite him.

Congratulations on the wedding!

 

[Wildsky]

Thats sad.

My sister walked me down the aisle at the last minute! My dad couldn't make it to my wedding, and I was planning on walking down that aisle alone.

 

[okiechick57]

I would certainly follow YOUR heart and feelings.......invite him to wedding.....but his "place" of walking you down the isle is gone with the lack of contact I believe...ultimately it is YOU and how YOU feel about who walks you down.........

 

[2dream]

Congrats on the wedding.
As for your dad. I agree with Okie - follow your heart. But as a divorced mom of two children I will throw my 2 cents in.
Their dad was a really nice person but....
we had totally different "families". Mine was close knit and we visited constantly, hugged, kissed and had to talk all the time.
His family was kind of standoffish and not close at all. So when we divorced - he saw the kids on a regular basis but they hated going to see him because they never felt welcome. His family loved them but just did not show it like my family did.
Now that they are grown and have seen more of the world I think they understand that he will never be like my family simply due to the way he was raised.
But they do stay in contact with him - They call him. It is just not in his nature to call often. Sadly some people are just that way.....but it does not mean he does not love you.

 

[okiechick57]

Quote:
coming from a family like your ex.........I understand totally.......I so try to be closer.show it more.......let all I know how much I love them.......it is in no way a sign of HOW much I love people.....but being brought up in a "distant and detached family" I struggle with people around me thinking I am cold and non loving..I thank you for sharing your view 2dream.........there is always another side to consider.....in most circumstances anyway !

 

[miss_thenorth]

Be TRUE , Be YOURSELF , But most importantly , Be TRUE to yourself . If you can't look in the mirror everyday , and know your a good human being , then what are you living for ?"
"

I'm quoting your quote!! Be true to yourself. It's your, and your fiance's day. It is all about you!!! If you want to invite him--invite him, But I don't think it appropriate for him to walk you down the isle.(mho) Don't feel obligated just b/c he's your father.

Your wedding day is one day that you want happy and special memories, so don't go and do something that might not make special and happy memories.

I would say ask someone special to you , to walk you down the aisle.

Congratulations!!!!!

 

[arwmommy]

I agree that I would invite him to the wedding, but under no circumstances would I have him walk you down the aisle.

It will be his choice whether he shows or not, and if he doesn't, it is on HIM. The fact that you haven't asked him to walk you down the aisle will speak LOUD AND CLEAR about your feelings about your relationship. I think this is the most mature, classy decision that you can make, and one you will not regret as you get older.

Good luck on whatever you choose!

 

[Frozen Feathers]

IMO I wouldn't have him walk you down the aisle, but maybe invite him.
I say maybe because if he is going to cause you stress and make YOUR DAY become less then ideal, you probably don't want him there.

 

[AussieSharon]

I am sorry you are in this situation. My parents divorced when I was in my teens and my Dad had very little to do with me after that ( I haven't had contact with him in 13 years now, but that is beside the point )

On my wedding day I walked myself down the aisle. I didn't need anyone to give me away, I was giving myself to my husband.

I hope your wedding is a wonderful day you will never forget.