Upset, worried, angry, couldn't sleep because of this poor kid

[HeatherLynn]

ok so my nephew is a major BUTT. He sucks as a step parent to say the least. Anyway they do not have custody of his wifes little boy. He is such a sad kid too. The mom had custody but she moved away from michigan so the court awarded custody to the father since he was staying in michigan and he was getting out of jail. So the first time I meet this kid I am thinking that my nephew is so grouchy with him and spoke so sharpy; Well I would not have tolerated it. Its not beating or hitting but still tone of voice and how you speak I think can be abusive. The kid went on and on about how much nicer my nephew was than his dad. So my first thought is geez you poor thing you have a pretty crappy dad if thats the case. Such a quiet, scrawny, sad kid. You look at him and know he is never happy. Anywho so they send him back to michigan as soon as the father got out of jail and 2 weeks later he is back down here. His dad got drunk, went nuts, beat up his girlfriend and the boy. Emergency protective and custody order. We chewed out the nephew and made lots of threats and he behaved with the kid. A month later dad gets out of jail and judge sends the kid back and he wants the mom who doesn't work and has never had a job other than care for the boy to pay child support. My nephew works so he is her only income and he refuses. He told her she would just have to lose contact with him because he is not letting the boy and his father ruin his life and he says that in front of the kid. He said such ugly stuff. I hit him hard, sent the kiddie of to say bye to everyone, and then chewed my nephew out. I went home and I sat in the dark all night worried about that poor kid. He comes from his dad with bones sticking out all over his body, marks all over his back, and a haunted expression. But what does he have to come home to here. My nephew being a butt. His mom is this scared little thing too. I get mad at her for not defending him but she takes the same abuses and looks as scared as he does. And so I worry some more. and I get angrier, and there is not a dang thing I can do to help. I told my husband I would take the kid in an instant if I thought the judge would agree but the judge has already proven he is a moron. He knows abuse is going on. Had solid proof and ignored it. And I get even more mad.

I tell my husband all the time Its a good thing I'm not GOD. Free will would go out the window and killing lightening would be coming down like mad. So upset and fretting about this its driving me crazy.

 

[saddina]

Someone needs to call child services to check up on the family.

 

[twentynine]

I tell you that must be one screwed up system in Michigan.

Dad convicted of crime sentenced to jail, serves sentence and the judge orders custody in his favor.
Beats the snot out of the kid, sentenced to jail, serves sentence and the judge returns the kid to him again?

All because the Mom moved out of state?

Got to be something I am missing here. If the Mom had custody, free and clear, if she moves, the child moves with her.

Something ain't right.

Me thinks the child's mother has problems with childcare too!

 

[HeatherLynn]

They have been called before. Many times. It doesn't seem to result in anything. He goes in front of the judge and nada. After the dad got out of jail last time for assaulting the girlfriend and the boy he had to go in front of the judge and the only thing that happened is he gave him custody back and awarded child support. domestic abuse and child abuse= full custody and child support I guess. My nephew, the family is on but I can't help but feel that if he was kinder and less harsh maybe the kid would have a bit of hope. They only get him like once a month for 2 days. Thats 2 days he could look forward to but thats not how it is.

The judge told the mom it was because she moved out of state to move in with my nephew, not for a job or any real reason. So she was in effect only moving to deny the boys father access to him. He told her if she got a job in kentucky then he would award shared custody but my nephew will not "allow" her to work. Like I said he is being a major butt and she just takes it. sigh my husband would be a pretty miserable man if he tried to pull that one. Its just frustrating. I am going to go visit the kiddo today and take him some new shoes and have a chat. I called my brother and started crying like a stupid idiot. My brother already had words with his son over his attitude. Poor kid is caught in a tug of war.

The court and the system seem to feel everything is acceptable. No one even tries to call anymore because there is never anything done when they do call.

 

[chick4chicks]

What a sad sad situation, the poor little boy. I will Pray for him that the mess gets cleared up and he gets a decent and loving home. This makes me cry so sad.

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

In most states a parent cannot move a child out of state without the other parent's permission--EVEN IF THE PARENT WHO WANTS TO MOVE HAS FULL CUSTODY. Only if parental rights have been revoked is that not an issue.

As for this specific child, consider petitioning the courts for custody or even fostering him. The child needs an advocate to speak for his best interests, not those of his parents. The judge is likely hamstringed by laws that do not allow his discretion--try to give him some options to choose from.

 

[Quillgirl]

How sad. And the cycle will continue if nothing is done to break it.

 

[PineappleMama]

That mom sounds like mine... went from one abusive... "man" to another... I don't know if she has some sign, or smell, or look about her that draws them or if she's just got a broken picker or what... but she keeps getting losers. Granted the latest one wasn't as bad as the one before, but still NOT good. Verbal abuse is abuse, period. Look at how the kid acts, he thinks that guy is a saint compared to his dad... no wonder the mom got sucked in too. By comparison your nephew is Prince Charming. He's got a woman he can abuse all he wants, because really doesn't she deserve it? *sarcasm alert* She doesn't do anything, earn anything, and now she's trying to make him support her kid too...

That is NO home for a child. Physically it might be better than Michigan, but emotionally it's not. That poor kid would be better off in a MONITORED foster home than in either place. Key word monitored, I'm not a fan of yanking kids from their folks. But if their folks refused to grow up then they can't take care of themselves, much less a child.

Good for you for having the nerve to be honest and tell the jerk what a jerk he is. Sounds like everyone else was just walking on eggshells around his fragile ego. Abusers of any kind make me ill, but if you're an adult and you want to put up with that crap FINE. But you abuse a child and you're going to hear from me, and the cops.

Obviously, even with this last assault the court for whatever reason thinks the dad is better than the mom... there's got to be a reason for that.. more than just income... assistance is available... she must have done something to put a mark against herself as a parent... something so bad that this guy beating his child pales in comparison. And, if she did then I seriously doubt at this date she's going to own up to it... but you might try finding out what it is... if there really is nothing then she should be contacting people for help. Here in Texas there are resources for single mom's that are in court battles... Texas Legal Aid (I think?)... don't know about where you're at, but if she hasn't done anything wrong -but move- then they could be able to help.

 

[redhen]

Poor little guy..

 

[agnes_day]

your nephew must be a total piece of crap to say that in front of that child.
what a loser! if i were the kids mom, i would dump him and then try to get custody and make a life for me and my son.

poor little boy!!