I've been a vegetarian for 30 years. My family are not so I do cook for them but it must be store bought and it is very hard for me. Gradually I have gotten them to about 50/50 veggie. I can't kill one of my chickens and I know I will never be able to do so. I remember growing up and seeing my aunt kill chickens and I have never gotten over it. I was 5 years old. I have been called a bleeding heart liberal and several other derogatory terms, but after looking into the eyes of one of my special chickens, or the big brown eyes of one of the calves, I know I will never change. Don't feel bad because you are just relating to these special creatures.
I am not unrealistic and understand man's carnivorous base, but it just isn't for me. Maybe if everyone kept chickens......