Venting About My Inlaws... !@$#@#$@

[redoak]

In-Laws

 

[RickiHupp]

I have a gun....

 

[MrGreenJeans]

Sigh - some people are just that way. My DGF has a SIL who appears to have no desire in life to amount to anything. Both of said SIL's parents have been on disability for years, and so is one of her sisters. No offense to anyone with such a condition, but "chronic fatigue" in a 24 year old woman who was fine before college, sounds highly suspect to me. Especially given the family history.

The brother is an extremely talented chef, but a pitiful excuse for a worker. He got fed up with his last two jobs (working double shifts so the wife could sofa surf) so he stopped going. Their firstborn is due January 9th.

We've had them over to the house, given them food out of our garden and freezer, and will probably share the wealth from the coop as well once the girls stop freeloading. Luckily DGF loathes the SIL, and knows the brother well enough to know what to expect. She does stuff for them because she loves them and they (at least he) are/is family. I do stuff for them, but I guess I also have the luxury of only doing what I am comfortable with doing.

Here's hoping you can sit the DH down and say "Honey, I love you and would move the moon if you asked - your brother, not so much." They are family and they are not going away. My advice would be to work it so you can minimize your own stress, and don't set yourself up to be taken advantage of - give whatever you are comfortable with and truly don't mind having for yourself. Spend your time with the people who enrich your life and whose lives you enrich, spend the holidays with your family

(ouch that came out harsh, but yeah...you get the idea...)

 

[Nikki28]

Quote:

I can't stand freeloaders , I feel bad for the kids.

 

[SterlingAcres]

Quote:

I can't stand freeloaders , I feel bad for the kids.

My point exactly. They have absolutely NO hopes or dreams, nor do they attempt to make a better life for their children. What really ticks me off, is that while they were living here, they were discussing when to have their THIRD child.

Oh joy. Another to neglect and another to help them get more welfare money.

 

[curliet]

I have to say this...Sometimes when you help people, it's the worst thing you can do for them.
All the help in the world won't help if the people won't or can't learn to help themselves. You all know about teaching a man to fish. We've all seen parents who cripple their kids by doing so much for them that they can't leave home, and the people you are talking about don't have to work or do for themselves, because someone else always does. They have become disabled by good deeds and handouts.
Only help them in exchange for something that they can do, don't encourage free rides.
I know that you meant well when you tried to help them, and it was from the goodness of your hearts. Now it's time for those birds to fly away on their own.