Very annoyed

[Chickerdoodle13]

I usually just say "Quit being annoying". I grew up with a dad who said it like it was!

 

[Cetawin]

I personally practice directness and honesty...I simply say "You are annoyng the snot out of me...please go away"

Or

I do the "Well bless your heart" or "Thank you" and walk away. Depends on the individual really

 

[whiteflare]

I don't even talk to this person anymore, so it'd be really awkward if I went up to them and told them they were being snotty to me.

Anyhow, I don't let it bother me much, people like them don't really end up anywhere, their goals in life practically peak at getting over 500 friends on Facebook.

 

[welsummerchicks]

There is a very well-established way to handle people to annoy you. Whether you should talk to the person or not, depends on what the situation is.

Say a person is talking on and on about themselves and you don't get a chance to speak about your events. Again for me it depends somewhat on why. Are they mentally ill? Anxious? Frightened? Such people often have to keep talking to manage their anxiety.

If I thought that it was a behavior the person could change and manage, I'd talk to them in the standard way:

1. State their behavior.
2. State how it makes you feel.
3. State what you would like them to do.
4. State how you would feel if they did that.


'When you talk continuously, I feel uncomfortable. I would like you to cover one subject, and then let me speak. Then I would feel more comfortable'.

Now THIS takes courage. You have to go to the person, NOT someone else! Right straight to the person who's behavior is bothering you.

You also have to be able to simply go 'Oh well' if the person doesn't agree with you or what to change what they do. You also have to THINK - a LOT! What is REALLY bugging you. What is REALLY going on in your head.

ALOT of this involves us sitting down and being very, very honest with ourselves, about what we really want, and what we have a right to ask for.

Perhaps Chatty Cathy just IS THAT WAY! Perhaps I'd rather spend time around other people. Or perhaps Chatty Cathy would be fun to visit with when I feel really up and happy, but not after a rough day. Or maybe I should just sit and enjoy Chatty Cathy's enthusiasm and excitement for everything in the world! Maybe she ISN'T really doing this to annoy me. Maybe that's just how she is.

Maybe I will talk about my worries about the upcoming interview, or family gathering, with someone else. Every friend doesn't have to do everything for us. We can at times just let them be whoever they are.

I had a doctor who was very, very upheat and cheerful. I liked dealing with him at doctor appointments - but I ALSO liked having my partner around, who i could share my private worries with, and talk to in a different way.

Part of doing this means you have to sit down and consider how reasonable your feeling of annoyance is. EMOTIONS ARE NOT TRUTH. Just because you FEEL something, doesn't mean the person across from you is responsible, or should be MADE responsible. A person always has to be thinking, 'Is my emotion REALLY this other person's responsibility? Do I REALLY feel as I do because of him, or is it how I am looking at the situation? Could I see it differently'

Is this simply the person's 'style' and not really directed at you? Is it really personal? Is it just something inevitable in the given situation(such as a job situation where emergencies happen and people get under pressure, anxious and in a rush)? Are you ove-reacting because of some of your own history, something this person isn't really responsible for? Is it something that can actually be changed? Or are you expecting the person to cater to you too much?

We always have to be thinking before we complain to someone - is this asking too much? Am I being too sensitive? Am I asking this person to cater to me too much?

What do I mean by 'cater'? Well, are we trying to actually just control the person, for our own satisfaction? Does telling them what to do make us feel powerful? Are we asking too much?

Example: a girl at school wanted me to make SURE every single time I passed her in the hall, I waved and said, 'HIIII!!!!!' in a super, super cheeful way. She didn't really NEED me to do that to avoid her getting emotional harm. It made her feel powerful and popular, like everyone was looking for her every second they were in the hall between classes. Like she was always on people's minds, and like seeing her made the rain end and the sun shine. It made her feel more powerful and more in control of people. I told her I wouldn't, and faced the consequences - being gossiped about endlessly, LOL!!!! That's the most important thing a person has to face, your choices have consequences. You might wave and say, 'HIII' every time Miss Wonderful floats by just because there are fewer negative results if you do. You makes your choices and you plays your cards.

Example of a problem someone just has to learn to live with: I'm hard of hearing. At a stable, a person addressed me. I didn't turn around immediately and say, 'Yes?' so she decided I was ignoring her and disrespecting her. She complained to the barn owner.

The barn owner laughed. 'Wels is hard of hearing. It takes her a moment to realize you're talking to her when there is a group around talking. This is not something she can change. Get over it. Say her name a little louder when you want to talk to her'.

I also have a learning disability - I'm perserverent. That means it's very difficult for me to move from one activity to another. I tend to keep doing what I'm doing. Couple that with being hard of hearing and well - I work at it constantly, but occasions when this happens still sneak in.

Every action you take has a reaction. You complain to someone about what they do, you face the reaction. They may do what you want, they may not.

In dealing honestly and openly with people, you have to accept a great truth - that you really have no control over what other people do.

 

[desertdarlene]

It's a behavior related thing, I would say "you know, it really annoys me when you do that". If it's a clash of personalities and I can avoid the person, I would just spend less time with them.

 

[farmerlor]

I always use "I" language and tell them. "I understand that this is your opinion or that this is how you feel but I just don't agree and I feel like we should probably agree not to talk about this subject anymore."

 

[lockedhearts]

One simple rule and the older I get, the easier it is.......

Say What you Mean and Mean What you Say

If they annoy you tell them and tell them why, but you have to mean it and be prepared to end that relationship.....


Life is too short for drama, bull, annoying people and relationships that are not productive

 

[HHandbasket]

I recently ran into an old friend I haven't seen in many years. We have chit-chatted online off and on for the last couple of weeks, but she is turning into SUCH a downer that I really don't even want to talk to her right now. I think she has picked up on my annoyed vibe because I got an e-mail from her earlier, saying she's so sorry if she's getting on my nerves. I would like to say she isn't getting on my nerves, but that would be lying.

She's just in a bad place in her life right now, so I'm keeping the contact limited. I hope that at some point, I will be comfortable enough with her to share how I am feeling right now... but sometimes, it's obvious that a person is aware they're being a pain-in-the-neck & don't need to be told. They just need time to work through it within themselves.

 

[caspernc]

Quote:
If you are in the south and someone say well bless your heart, you might as well just tuck your tail and slink away. You have just been told to shut up! Or bless her heart....you don't say another word about this subject, thank you very much! The south is in a different world as far as talking about things.

 

[fuzziebutt]

I am soooo to old to deal with BS from anyone. I have family that I have cut loose, friends, and at one time, a son that owed me money. A considerable amount. And I refuse to walk on eggshells, and I never was a butt kisser, so if anyone tries to give me problems that I don't need, I just let them go. When they ask why, I tell them that I am an adult, and will not be treated any other way. And I will not be around those that try to change it. I may end up being the crazy old chicken lady at the end of the road, but that's fine with me. I like chickens better!