Voluntarily Silent

[EweSheep]

Flylady is free but the Fairy is not.

 

[punk-a-doodle]

It's as much for me as anything... I'm sick of talking when nobody listens. what is the point?

You sound really overwhelmed and like you are having feelings of uselessness and frustration that the things you are trying are not working. That is not a good way to feel. There is nothing wrong with asking for help, especially from someone who you know can offer good advice that will work. Is there anyone you know who has a really cohesive and close family...and not just one that appears that way? Any insurance coverage to at least get you a professional outlet to start working through these issues? Best of luck.

 

[cassie]

Quote:
Look around the site. I think there are some routines for kids somewhere. As flylady has grown her website has gotten so much stuff on it it is a little hard to navigate. Seek and ye shall find. Maybe.

 

[bluesub]

You need to read The Omnipotent Child by Thomas Millar. Your child does not sound as bad as the case studies in this book, but there are some helpful tips that will be useful. I have a very willful 9 year old and we implemented some of the suggestions and they did help. Good luck.

 

[redhen]

Quote:

 

[pdsavage]

8 year old boys have alot of energy if not used up it comes out in a negative way.
I find picking my battles helps alot,also if they won't listen take something from them they like.They have to earn it back by improving the behavior that lead to it being taken away.
Don't cave or give in stick to your guns.
I know one parent that totaly emptied there unrully kids room and they had to earn everything back,the stuff they get is a privilege not a right and if they abuse your generosity and act like hooligans then they don't deserve it.
Anyway get that boy some energy draining activities,the park works wonders for boys and wearing them out.I use to take mine alot and read a book while they played.

 

[chickensducks&agoose]

We don't have a car, so it's just us, me and the 3 kids, trapped at home in the boonies. There's gardening to do, but he keeps pulling out the GOOD plants, and stepping on the peas, and sitting down in the carrots... so I guess I need to find him gardening work that he really can't screw up... I'm in the process of making up a schedule, so we can all follow a clear schedule this summer.... i think that will help. As far as silence, my baby (4) begged me this morning to talk again, and so I agreed to try it on a contingent basis... I will say things one time. If it doesn't happen like it needs to, there will be consequences... I'm just not quite sure what the consequences will be.

 

[kfchickenlady]

when my son (now 13) would act like a disrespectful hooligan all day during summer vacation, I would send him to work the next day with my DH, a farrier. He loved the time alone with his dad, got an appreciation of where money comes from, and it totally changed his attitude for a long time. (It made him feel like he accomplished something, he got a little money for small tasks, and it wore him out!) My point is, sometimes they need something bigger to focus on, maybe sports or several hrs away from home (not with a bratty friend though!) working towards a goal, ie earning money to buy something big, IDK whatever you think he will focus on? I know baseball is my DSs biggie, my DH talked to the coach about pulling him out for his grades, they went up in a hurry!
btw, weve done the emptying room thing too, it came after several warnings, and it was pretty sobering for him. My son will be so mature and good for awhile then it seems to run out, lol. And he has to hit that boundary AGAIN....seems happier afterwards too! Good luck.