Voluntarily Silent

[EweSheep]

Quote:

Who won?

 

[annie3001]

chickensducks&agoose :

I have voluntarily stopped speaking. I feel like my kids take my nagging etc. for granted, and don't listen like they should. DS especially, he's 8. He is making me totally nuts, and I am SO sick of asking him to "be nice, Sit down, Share with your sister, Don't talk back, Don't do that, Use your fork, Use a plate, No you can't eat that.... etc." So. I've stopped speaking. Nobody listens anyway, so i'm just wasting my time and breath and energy. SO, I will use sign, and if we're really stuck, i'll write things down. 2 of my 3 kids can read. DH is thrilled that I'm not speaking, and has used this as an opportunity to convert one of my flannel sheets into car-repair rags, knowing I can't yell at him... and I just learned that even if I do yell, it's not going to magically fix my sheet. It's amazing how much I use my voice when it's really too late to change anything. I'm going to try to last 6 days... I don't think the people at my church would understand, and I really do love the singing.... During Church I'll reassess, and decide whether it seems to be helping anything, or if it's just silly.

interesting. dont think i could be quiet and not speak. good if you can. imo since you belong to a church perhaps talking with someone from their might really be beneficial to you. i dont think being silent is going to solve your home/children issues. thats just imo. good luck tho.​

 

[whiteflare]

Yeah, who won?

My parents and I were forever yelling at each other. Ever since my father and I stopped speaking properly though (we're the hot heads in the family), things have been a lot more peaceful!

He only talks to me now if I do well at school and win awards. He gives me money and says congrats, but that's about all. I think it's better if we live more or less separate lives.

 

[Buugette]

I didn't speak to my hubby for two days. Got my point across. I didn't stop talking all together... I talked at work and to my 3 year old son. That was 13 years ago... haven't had to do it since.

Best of luck.

 

[calicokat]

Technically I won. I yelled once, the second day, when I was out in the barn working with tools and smashed a finger. But I didn't yell at the kids until day 6 when they were bickering and fighting. (I was also PMSing, so it was not a good combination!) And yelling "at the kids" was the bet

His sisters (12 & 16) reported that he was still cussing when I wasn't around - which is interesting -- it shows me he can control it when he wants to! He wouldn't pay up because he said they were lying. But I was inclined to believe them since they had specific examples of what had happened and when he cussed.


I was just proud that I wasn't the one that lost - man, that would have been humiliating!!

 

[pbjmaker]

Try switching to the desired behavior when addressing the kids. i.e. instead of "DON'T RUN IN THE STORE!!", pull them to the side and say quietly, "Remember, we walk in the store - running is for the playground."

Or instead of Stop hitting your sister - approach it like, "I know your really frustrated with your sister, but you need to use your words when you're angry."

MODEL MODEL MODEL the desired behavior.

Extinguish bad behaviors by ignoring them. A lot of times a child will thrive just as much on negative attention as positive.

Tell them what your expectations are before hand.

Follow through with consequences.

The one time I gave my daughter the silent treatment, her Dad was in Iraq, she was 13 and mad at me for some stupid thing and she said "I hate you, I wish you were dead!" So I played dead for a couple of days, ignored her, made her fix her own food, wouldn't take her anywhere. It did drive the point home.

 

[EweSheep]

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[chickensducks&agoose]

Trust me, I've tried the quiet talking. The girls are fine, but DS (8) loves to ignore me, and honestly, we don't really have any toys or tv to take away from him... he acts just like a teen, and at the same time, thinks his behavior is hilarious. He wrote on his little sister with an indelible poster marker.... which has yet to wash off.... and I am just really sick of saying ANYTHING to him. We were at worship today, and he decided it would be funny to 'fall' flat on the floor in the aisle... on purpose. grabbing crayons away from his sisters.... sticking the crayons (not OUR crayons) into his sock... not funny. I can't spank him (he's way too big) I can't yell, since it doesn't accomplish anything, and i can't reason with him, since he already knows he shouldn't be doing it... as far as punishment, I can take away his PSP, but we don't have any cable, he doesn't usually have friends over, he doesn't love talking on the phone yet.... he has his pets, but they are his responsibility, and I don't think taking away his responsibilities will teach him anything. It's as much for me as anything... I'm sick of talking when nobody listens. what is the point?

 

[BrattishTaz]

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However it cost $15.00 to access it. No thanks!

Flylady charges now? It was free back when my kids were little. Her "routines" work soooo well. My kids started getting themselves up (in elementary school), showering, brushing teeth, brushing hair, and getting dressed without a word from me. The even cleaned and did homework without a fuss. I bought them their own timer. They had a checklist and got a star everyday they finished everything. They could later cash in that star for prizes.

I LOVE Flylady!!

 

[pbjmaker]

Quote:
However it cost $15.00 to access it. No thanks!

Flylady charges now? It was free back when my kids were little. Her "routines" work soooo well. My kids started getting themselves up (in elementary school), showering, brushing teeth, brushing hair, and getting dressed without a word from me. The even cleaned and did homework without a fuss. I bought them their own timer. They had a checklist and got a star everyday they finished everything. They could later cash in that star for prizes.

I LOVE Flylady!!

The flylady I get is free. It comes as an e-mail everyday.