Washingtonians

[cheryl98117]

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Wanna try your hand at incubating? I'll lend you my brinsea for a little while if you want to try it out!

 

[cheryl98117]

Been a busy past few days around here. Clearing out an acre of black berrys, took down a few 50+ foot black honey locust, got them all cut into 8 foot lengths, and hauled out of the brambles. My sisters on/off bf got the chain saw stuck in the first tree. We have no tractor, so it was a 60' rope tied to the tree with me on the other end pulling, my sister at the base of the tree pushing, and her personal idiot trying to pull the chain out. WELL, the tree didn't fall in the direction that he wanted it to go. And boy! Am I ever glad I am quikc on my feet! Darned tree came down right at me, and the top 15 feet would have come down right on top of me, if I hadnt gotten outta dodge. Then as my sisters personal idiot was cutting the tree up into sections, he got the bar stuck AGAIN! He should NOT be using a chainsaw, especially on theis hard wood!

Anyways, today I start constructing my 50' round pen out of all the posts and rails we cut and hauled outta the bushes. Should be fun.

 

[Ogress]

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[cheryl98117]

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renart, I am so sorry that you lost a kid. But your total losses aren't bad over an 8 year span. But still I don't think it ever gets easier. So sorry, but also happy that your other kids are thriving!

Hang in there!

 

[VelvettFog]

Friday May 20th 2011

I’m sitting in the semi-darkness that is my daughter Noelle’s bedroom. There is light from the hallway filtering in through the open door, and we can see the sun begin to poke its way through the open curtains. There is a rooster crowing, it’s not mine I promise. The Hospice nurse and I are talking about how the latest increase in pain medication didn’t seem to help very much. It is difficult to be sure, because Noelle has been unable to communicate for three days. The nurse has increased the dose on Noelle’s pain pump three times over the last 12 or so hours. It is becoming harder and harder to keep the pain anywhere close to reasonable. The nurse and I agree that using something to help calm Noelle down would be helpful. Since Ativan is on Noelle’s med list, that’s what we use. After 20 minutes, it is clear that the first dose helped, but Noelle is still in a lot of pain.

We brought Noelle home from the hospital on Saturday, she was in pain, and very weak but her spirits were high. She was determined to spend a few days at my house to get better and then go visit her mother, about a 90 minute drive. Sunday was a ‘normal’ day, I spent it pushing Ensure and applesauce she watched the food network. Monday the Home Health Nurse came by and did an assessment, so far so good.

Tuesday morning Noelle was more obstinate than usual about taking her 6 am pills. I checked back every 30 minutes or so, but by now its 8:30 and she’s not taken them. I cajole her into chasing them down with a small cup of milk. Through the day we continue the routine that Noelle and I have polished over the last two 1/2 years. She watches TV, I check on her every 90 minutes. Today is different, she’s refusing to drink and won’t take her meds. By the afternoon, I’m concerned enough to page the home health nurse and she stops by. The transition to Hospice is necessary, which brings us back to this Friday morning.

The nurse has just given Noelle a second dose of Ativan. I’m talking to Noelle, telling her that I’m going to be ok and that she does not need to worry. The nurse and I comment at the same time that it really looks like the pain is residing. You can see it leave her face. I have been holding her hand for so long that I had forgotten, until I feel her grip strengthen. Her eyes open, and she looks right at me and manages to find a way to smile through all that pain. And at that moment, when our eyes met, I could feel her energy leave the palm of her hand.

I know she was holding on in order to say good bye to me.

Good Bye buddy.


Noelle Gretchen Atwood passed away at 6:30 am on Friday the 20th of May, 2011. She was 23.



Peace,

Dave

 

[renart]

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Thanks for that!

 

[Ogress]

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I so know your hurt, I had a doe kid late yesterday had to help her one kid was born dead the other one I stayed up with all night long trying to save her. When she was born she looked ok but she wasnt. So with no sleep all night I walked around and told her Mom how great a girl she was. Than had to make the round to all the other goats and give each a kiss and love. My poor husband woke up to her still in the house, I knew she was gone but just had to keep trying. I cant do this anymore it hurst so much..

Doesnt help that Im tired

that's very sad. Do the mama goats get depressed when their babies die?

 

[renart]

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I would have to say no, unless it is there only kid at the time. Then they seem to wander around for a few days wondering where they done run off too. Like with this mom (Monkey) she has the four other voracious babies circling her fairly continuously looking for a drink, so one being away doesn't seem a thought crossing her mind. But of course we have no real clue what they are thinking.

In the wild, when one is weak and lags behind, it is left, for the safety of all the others, nature has a way with things.

 

[Stumpfarmer]

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CR's right: two out of fifty-eight is an outstanding record. It hurts, though, I know- I've never stopped counting the cows and calves I've lost over the (whole lot more than eight) years I've tended cattle. You have to learn from each; with a kid that small, it may be that what you have to learn is that some tinies are too tiny.

 

[Chickielady]

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OMG, is that for real?
Your baby has just passed away?

I am so surprised and it is so sad!!!!!!!!!

I had no idea that she was ill!
Peace be with you!!!!!!!!!

There are no words that can ever make you feel better after this loss, except to know she is no longer suffering and in pain.....but that will never be enough.