Washingtonians

[Cowgirlgrace]

I like the idea of the upside down chair matts. Our Lab was crate raised and went into a crate in the house every night. When he was about a year and we got tired of the crate we took it out and let him sleep on the dog beds in the house. Slowly over time he helped himself to the sofa. We put up a baby gate and he learned to plow right through it. Dog hair all over the couch! The only options were, crate or garage. I opted for garage. but to my bewilderment since DH complains about the dogs in the house too, he has not put him out yet and has resorted to loading up the furniture with items to deter him. Seems the pointy chair matts might be a good idea! I'll suggest it. Although I don't mind him in the garage this time of year at all! Oh, get this, his sweet little Corgi who adores him to death gets to sleep in our bedroom!

 

[SadieSue]

I'm working at the wine shop all day today. Of course it's beautiful and sunny and I'm stuck inside. DH came in a while ago, and in light of recent posts, I started to think about how fortunate I have been in many ways, how much crap DH has put up with from me, how he's indulged me, etc. In short, sometimes I think he is a much better husband than I have been a wife. Only sometimes. But in a moment of revelation I looked at him with sincerity and said, "I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate you and all you've done for me over the years, not only agreeing to chickens, but building my coop, not squawking or making a peep when you saw that I'd purchased an incubator, bought eggs, brooded the chicks in the house, etc. You've tolerated dogs, cats, birds, rats and all order of chaos these past 20 years from Lily and I and I think that's rare and special." I teared up a little because I really meant it. He sat quietly for a moment, said. "Okay," as if I'd just told him I bought milk at the store or something equally as mundane, then stood saying "I'm going to take about six cases of our Syrah home and put it in the garage".

Oh that man - he is such a hopeless romantic sometimes.

 

[ByN8ureHomstead]

Quote:
Not to many just to close together.

 

[AriLovesChickens]

Quote:
Some of this really resonates with me as well. I've always wanted to have chickens and made no secret about it. Now we have the place to do so, and DH is being really obnoxious about it. He and I have been having other problems for a while. It's very frustrating when your spouse won't respect long held dreams. He may not be into the same hobbies, but he doesn't have to be a jerk about it.

 

[Rainwolf]

Quote:
Where in Seattle are you? I have a lot that is about the same size and have 8 adults and 12 teens running around... oh and 2 dogs and 2 goats

Depending where you are you might be stuck with 8 birds total. I had chickens before the new law so can keep my rooster and raise babies but to be nice to my neighbors no more then 10 adults at a time

 

[Cowgirlgrace]

Quote:
Awwww, you are a lucky duck! or is it chicken?

That reminds me, I have my incubator in the house due to electricity failures in the tack room (DH wired it, but thanks, really)so I also have a small brooder next to it to plop chicks in once they hatch. It is in the house at most 2 days before I take the chicks to the brooders in the tack room. Rather than complain, DH, I think due to many comversations, won't say a word. He only will light a scented candle and place it in the window above the brooder. Alas! that is my cue. My 'still small voice' that it is time to move the chicks! Possibly we are making some communication progress!

Dana, that "okay" meant a lot more than it seemed!

 

[ByN8ureHomstead]

For you coupon peeps, there should not be any coupons in the papers on July 3, it a holiday week end.

 

[hallerlake]

Quote:
Awwww, you are a lucky duck! or is it chicken?

That reminds me, I have my incubator in the house due to electricity failures in the tack room (DH wired it, but thanks, really)so I also have a small brooder next to it to plop chicks in once they hatch. It is in the house at most 2 days before I take the chicks to the brooders in the tack room. Rather than complain, DH, I think due to many comversations, won't say a word. He only will light a scented candle and place it in the window above the brooder. Alas! that is my cue. My 'still small voice' that it is time to move the chicks! Possibly we are making some communication progress!

Dana, that "okay" meant a lot more than it seemed!

Yeah, it meant OMG what brought that on?

 

[ByN8ureHomstead]

Quote:
Yeah...but I have been bugging mine to FINISH my large coop since 2009...I gave up on that and got something that I thought could be easily converted into a second coop...that was also about 2 years ago...and then I found several options for builders to build me what I need that he won't and he's just now starting to get the second coop done and keeps threatening to stop all construction because he wants me to sell 1/2 my flock and downsize.

He refuses to finish my bantam bins which will house my bantams during the winter. This means I have to sell most of them (to him). To me, it means I have to hire someone else to do the cages. I pay for all of the chickens, chicks, eggs, vaccines, medications, sand, shavings, feed, etc, etc myself through hatching egg sales. Not a dime comes out of our "regular" budget...

He's only b*tching about it because he'll have to actually help out around here with feeding/watering while I'm recovering from the c-section....now that he knows how many birds I have

and he doesn't listen to me as far as the quickest/most time-efficient ways to feed/water--he's griping because it takes him 1/2 hour and it's "disorganized."

In actuality, it is not....but in his OCD brain, it is. He wants everything absolutely perfect and uniform and weird. They are living things!

He has already made me get rid of four of my horses. I told him it's him or the remaining horses--so he backed off. The hatching egg sales pay for my 3 horses' hay (and HIS one horse's hay) every year. I used to raise/breed reptiles before I got into the poultry...he made me stop that because he said the lizards were gross, their heat lamps were a fire hazard and the crickets I had to feed them were "smelly & noisy." Now that I have chickens--it's all he gripes about. He brings it up several times a day/night. Tonight, he said it was really bothering him and that my chicken hobby is "weird & gross."

Girl, I so understand what you are going through. I could go on and on about stuff but just a few tidbits about what I have concluded. Everyone has interestes, hobbies, things they like to do, things that bring them joy. I have wanted a farm since I was a little horse crazy girl. I inherited that passion from my Grandma, my dads mom and my dad relived that through me. We raised cows, horses, pigs, chickens, veggies and hay together. My dad nurtured that passion and that love followed me to adulthood and has been ingrained in who I am. When I met DH I told him all about me, what I wanted for my life, my dreams etc. He is a city boy but he loved me. Tried for a cowboy but he broke my heart. So city boy made it sound like he had the same dreams. NOT!! So 25 years later and two boys 19 and 22 he's got an ultimatum. I have put up with so much BS, so much of his illness, so many lies, so much complaining about the farm and someone who has done a complete turnaround from the person I married. I have turned to my farm as the only joy in my life. Even my kids have put me out of their life (they are teen and young adult so whatever). What none of them realize is if the animals go, so do I, because they are the reason I stay. They are what I turn to to survive, to bring me joy. I know that sounds sad but I feel obligated to stay for other reasons. You are young and expecting a new baby. Put your foot down and explain to him that he is not the only thing that defines you. Your hobbies, dreams and interests define you. It's part of the person you are. The person he married. He may not like parts but you take it all when you get married. When you marry you agree to accept the whole person. The good, the bad, the ugly. For better or for worse. I'm sure there are things about him you don't particularly enjoy but you agree to live with because you love him. It's all a give and take and acceptance. I know sometimes people can be excessive but what you are doing doesn't sound to me to be excessive. Just not a joy he shares. I have even gone from 8 horses down to 2 to make mine happy and he still complains. I either have 2 or none. If they are none, I am gone. I give and he takes. There is nothing to fill me back up but the farm. Lay it on the line girl! Do it before you raise your kids together so they don't have to suffer through the disagreements. Come to an understanding of each other.

Whew, sorry for the heavy stuff but that just struck a cord that was a long time in strumming! Hope this helps some.

The only thing I would like to say is Life is to short to be unhappy.

 

[SadieSue]

Awwww, you are a lucky duck! or is it chicken?

That reminds me, I have my incubator in the house due to electricity failures in the tack room (DH wired it, but thanks, really)so I also have a small brooder next to it to plop chicks in once they hatch. It is in the house at most 2 days before I take the chicks to the brooders in the tack room. Rather than complain, DH, I think due to many comversations, won't say a word. He only will light a scented candle and place it in the window above the brooder. Alas! that is my cue. My 'still small voice' that it is time to move the chicks! Possibly we are making some communication progress!

Dana, that "okay" meant a lot more than it seemed!

Thanks. I do feel lucky, at least today. In a few days when he does something that will make me want to

, I'll have to remind myself of the give and take necessary over the years.

And, moments like yours, the lighting of the candle? Congrats - a subtle gesture rather than an explosive moment can be something to be truly grateful for in the communication department!​