we lost our dog suggestions on helping a 4 yr old morn the loss

[CityGirlintheCountry]

There is a great childrens book called "What dogs do in heaven". It's beautiful. It talkes about all the joyous doggie things that they get to do. I gave a copy to my sister when their family dog died (he was older than my nieces so they had always had him around).

I'm so sorry for your loss. It's so hard.

 

[chicknmania]

I agree with Granolamom, too. We have always had a little funeral service for our pets, since our children were very small. Even hamsters. It gives closure and helps with the grieving process to be able to prepare a nice grave that you can contribute to in some way and later visit. I have some painful memories of other pet deaths involving my children at all stages of their lives.

 

[lockedhearts]

Having a funeral and dealing with it will help her more than anything.
Years ago when my sister and I were kids, one of our dogs went "missing".

Years later my parents admitted my Dad had found the dog on the road after it had been hit and they never told us, honestly that made it worse and we almost had to grieve again .

 

[amamaofmany]

So sorry to hear about the loss of your little dog!

We lost our first dog, Max, on the one year anniversary of my mother's death. It was about as traumatic for me as it was for my brood. He collapsed, at 4 in the morning and couldn't get up. He was a German/Aussie shepherd mix and a great companion for 12 years.

The older kids were awake from hearing the commotion in the house, and a few went with us to the vet to help carry him in. He had internal bleeding from a tumor we didn't know he had. It burst and there was no way to save him. We didn't have a funeral at our house for him - our yard was too small and so he went to my father's house and was buried there without the honors of little bouquets and little pictures laid on top of him in his grave.

My kids wrote him poems later, though, and drew him pictures and I let them talk about it as much as they needed and be silent if that is what they needed. I suspect your 4 year old will recover rather quickly. Don't bring it up much, let your daughter lead you on those conversations. In my clan I noticed the older the child the harder they took the loss and the more they wanted to talk about it and remember things he did. The younger ones seemed to get over the trauma much sooner and didn't seem to need to say much about it at all after a week or so.

I have always told my children that since all life is made by God, all live goes back to Him when it dies. The funny thing is that when my mother was dying, she kept saying that she saw her old Brittany Spaniel, Buckshot, devoted friend long gone, laying on the foot of the bed and wondered if we saw him too. We never did. But if God used that old dog to comfort her and get her ready to meet Him, I have no reason to believe she wasn't there to take our old pooch up to meet his Maker, too. She loved dogs, and was very fond of ours. It seems that all my kids were comforted by that thought.

 

[dkillgore]

Being the "mom" to multiple creatures and dealt with loss more than I like to dwell on.I would suggest this for your daughter.Possibly making a small area in the yard for a memorial to her puppy. Planting something, a small statue,whatever she would like.Being 4 doesn't mean she doesn't feel and if she want to sit and remember her puppy or "even talk" it would be her special spot for this.
Death is not an easy fix and everyone is different on how they process grief.Replaceing a pet is a personal choice and should be up to the one who lost their friend. I know you don't want your child to be sad but it is part of our make up to feel this and means your child isn't cold or has no empathy.In a world that seems to pride itself on not feeling Empathy is a healthy emotion that no one should feel sorry for.
Animals lives are not normally as long as our own and allowing your child to love and share with a pet is one of the greatest gifts that will go into adulthood with your daughter.
Good luck and I wish your family the best.

 

[embkm]

When we had to put our cat to sleep, we had a little funeral for him. The girls drew pictures and cards and put it in the grave with him to say goodbye. Then we put a garden angel statue over the grave. Over the past few years, we've planted a few flowers around it to make it the "Memorial Garden". My middle DD is the one who took his death the hardest (she has a hard time with all of them- even the quitter eggs in the bator). I still see her out there every once in a while, talking to him and putting more flowers by the statue.

 

[mamato3]

Well were had a funeral yesterday.I told he before we burried her shes in doggy heaven and she has not been buried yet. So after we had the little funeral i told well tinks in heven. And she says mom we just buried her she cant be there yet. Anyway everything getting better slowly she keeps telling me she want another dog just like tinker same personality and color.
Tinker

 

[sandypaws]

your story is very SAD... tragic things HAPPEN, tragic things will always happen.... your story is NOT the first one i have heard about people running over their own dog because the dog either was sleeping under the car or the dog ran out under the tires..
my own mother did it.. (puppy ran under the car as it was moving)

if you can not provide a fence,, or if you refuse to TRAIN the dog.. do not get another one,,
but it is even SADDER to me that you would deprive a child of growing up with a dog, just because of your fears... again tragic things HAPPEN, we can not stop them... but why stop having a love of a pet??? the unconditional love of a dog is the BEST thing in the world to grow up with... well the BEST thing for a little girl, is the love of a horse!!! but dogs are a great second!!!
get another dog!!!!! maybe not right NOW.. but soon