What consitutes a nervous breakdown?

[elizabethbinary]

I was going to have a 3 day shiva but I've been so stressed I realized I really did need seven.

I've had a lot going on, as a lot of you know - and half of it I didn't post! Anyway, here's what's going on:

I'm seeing things... sortof. I hit the brakes in the car the other night and scared my husband a little because I would've SWORN I saw a tipped over yellow truck in the road. Another time I swerved to avoid a person that wasn't there. (Luckily I look where I'm going to go before I swerve, or that would be a dangerous habit - but I'm a chronic mirror-checker). I keep seeing car accidents flash before my eyes, and this was, oddly... before the car accident I actually saw. Actually, since seeing the accident, I haven't seen any road ghosts. That seems to have stopped, but its only been a couple days.

I can barely eat (and I need to) and I'm so stressed I can't even bring the energy up to fight anymore. Someone tried to argue with me about something yesterday and I cared so little I walked away in the middle of their sentence. I am not one to do this normally.

I spent 20 hours yesterday cleaning my house. Granted, I have inspection today, but I went really far. I have what my doctor calls "C.D." ("It would be OCD, he says, but it's not obsessive.") and I organize/rearrange a lot when stressed. I started at 4am and went until 12:30am. I rearranged all bookshelves. Some entire rooms don't even look the same. I wiped down every bottle, label, dish, stick, fake flower, etc etc.... twice. I got so mad the walls weren't clean I...repainted them. Only the uncoming off bits, not the whole wall, but still.

Now I just sit around morosely, without really a mood at all... sad.. I gues... I feel... heavy. Just. Heavy. My heart is heavy, my feet are heavy, the fork to eat with is just too darn heavy, my eyelids are heavy.

I'm not sure if I'm mourning or bordering on a nervous breakdown. What, exactly, symbolizes the onset of one?

Thank you, everyone, for all the support I've been getting. This is truly an awesome forum.

 

[seminolewind]

I am not a doctor, I am just giving you ideas to think about. First off you are depressed. And you may have OCD judging by what you say about. You're cleaning is obsessive.
Your Seeing things makes me think of schizophrenia . That could be seeing things or hearing voices.

It's almost never just depression, sometimes it's a multiple of things. Do you have anxiety, and always feel overwhelmed (?) Do you feel something bad is going to happen?

I don't think there's really a thing called a nervous breakdown, but what I have considered a nervous breakdown is when you start crying and can't stop.

IMO, you should run to a good shrink, and get on some pills and get back to a person who can enjoy enjoyable things, feel emotions, feel happiness when appropriate, function as a person.

You can't get a diagnosis on a MB, but I know most of what you're going thru, life is precious, and you have a right to enjoy it, and not feel how you do.

 

[elizabethbinary]

Quote:
No, I do not think I need a diagnosis like this. Whatever I am going through is not permanant, only temporary. Sure, I might have OCD, but I've already seen a doctor about that and he doesn't think it's serious enough. Seeing things would be from stress, not schizophrenia.

I don't believe in anti-depressants for short-term pain.

Thank you for your advice.

Edit: I don't "always" feel overwhelmed but I have lately, with good reason. I feel something bad is going to happen, yes... but that's because so far I haven't been proven wrong.

 

[RThomas]

Self diagnosis isn't a good idea. People get stressed all the time- they don't usually see things that aren't there. Swerving to avoid things that aren't there creates a danger for yourself and others. You may have received a diagnosis from a Dr. in the past, but things change. I'd see a doctor- asap.

 

[satay]

I would suggest like the others to go see you doctor too. It may just be stress but you are better off to find out from someone who really knows and can help.

 

[elizabethbinary]

I cannot see a doctor while in shiva, so it will have to wait 6 more days.

Does anybody know of anything I can do now? Peppermint tea and candles just don't seem to be enough.

Stress in the past has caused me to hallucinate. I do it when I'm under severe stress. Remember, I just had a major flood destroy my hometown, I have homeless victims living with me, I spent 3 days searching for a dying friend, I've lost a shocking amount of my flock, I was forced to kill a dying duck, I've had a couple friends die and I witnessed 2 people die two days ago... all this happened in the last two months alone. Edit: Also, I think the images are related to all the bodies I saw while doing flood cleanup. Bodies of all sorts. Animal. Human.

it's completely understandable I'd see flashes of images in this scenario.

 

[RThomas]

Quote:
Then it is likely some type of posttraumatic stress disorder. I'm not a doctor, so this is just my opinion, but I'd still seek help as soon as you're able.

 

[aubreynoramarie]

Have you thought about maybe post traumatic stress disorder? It's not only war vets after battle that get it. It can be anyone who been through an extremely traumatic period.

Hope you feel better soon.

 

[elizabethbinary]

http://www.wisegeek.com/what-are-the-symptoms-of-a-nervous-breakdown.htm

I found this.

I bolded the ones that suit me:

* Disinterest in work or family life
* Disinterest in social life or alienation from previously close friends and family
* Sleep disruption or much longer periods of sleep
* Significant changes in appetite, such as eating too little or too much
* Paranoid thoughts, such as the thought people are trying to harm you
* Thoughts of grandeur or invincibility
* Feelings of persistent anxiety or panic attacks
* Hearing voices
* Seeing people who are not there
* Thoughts of dying or wish to die
* Exhibiting strong or violent anger
* Having flashbacks to a prior traumatic event
* Increasing dependence on alcohol or drugs
* Inability to pursue a normal life, normal activities or normal relationships.


It seems hallucinations are in fact a very common occurance under stress. I know this to be true, for me.

 

[elizabethbinary]

Quote:
....you know what, I didn't even think of this. Yes, I think this is it.