I was going to have a 3 day shiva but I've been so stressed I realized I really did need seven.
I've had a lot going on, as a lot of you know - and half of it I didn't post! Anyway, here's what's going on:
I'm seeing things... sortof. I hit the brakes in the car the other night and scared my husband a little because I would've SWORN I saw a tipped over yellow truck in the road. Another time I swerved to avoid a person that wasn't there. (Luckily I look where I'm going to go before I swerve, or that would be a dangerous habit - but I'm a chronic mirror-checker). I keep seeing car accidents flash before my eyes, and this was, oddly... before the car accident I actually saw. Actually, since seeing the accident, I haven't seen any road ghosts. That seems to have stopped, but its only been a couple days.
I can barely eat (and I need to) and I'm so stressed I can't even bring the energy up to fight anymore. Someone tried to argue with me about something yesterday and I cared so little I walked away in the middle of their sentence. I am not one to do this normally.
I spent 20 hours yesterday cleaning my house. Granted, I have inspection today, but I went really far. I have what my doctor calls "C.D." ("It would be OCD, he says, but it's not obsessive.") and I organize/rearrange a lot when stressed. I started at 4am and went until 12:30am. I rearranged all bookshelves. Some entire rooms don't even look the same. I wiped down every bottle, label, dish, stick, fake flower, etc etc.... twice. I got so mad the walls weren't clean I...repainted them. Only the uncoming off bits, not the whole wall, but still.
Now I just sit around morosely, without really a mood at all... sad.. I gues... I feel... heavy. Just. Heavy. My heart is heavy, my feet are heavy, the fork to eat with is just too darn heavy, my eyelids are heavy.
I'm not sure if I'm mourning or bordering on a nervous breakdown. What, exactly, symbolizes the onset of one?
Thank you, everyone, for all the support I've been getting. This is truly an awesome forum.
I've had a lot going on, as a lot of you know - and half of it I didn't post! Anyway, here's what's going on:
I'm seeing things... sortof. I hit the brakes in the car the other night and scared my husband a little because I would've SWORN I saw a tipped over yellow truck in the road. Another time I swerved to avoid a person that wasn't there. (Luckily I look where I'm going to go before I swerve, or that would be a dangerous habit - but I'm a chronic mirror-checker). I keep seeing car accidents flash before my eyes, and this was, oddly... before the car accident I actually saw. Actually, since seeing the accident, I haven't seen any road ghosts. That seems to have stopped, but its only been a couple days.
I can barely eat (and I need to) and I'm so stressed I can't even bring the energy up to fight anymore. Someone tried to argue with me about something yesterday and I cared so little I walked away in the middle of their sentence. I am not one to do this normally.
I spent 20 hours yesterday cleaning my house. Granted, I have inspection today, but I went really far. I have what my doctor calls "C.D." ("It would be OCD, he says, but it's not obsessive.") and I organize/rearrange a lot when stressed. I started at 4am and went until 12:30am. I rearranged all bookshelves. Some entire rooms don't even look the same. I wiped down every bottle, label, dish, stick, fake flower, etc etc.... twice. I got so mad the walls weren't clean I...repainted them. Only the uncoming off bits, not the whole wall, but still.
Now I just sit around morosely, without really a mood at all... sad.. I gues... I feel... heavy. Just. Heavy. My heart is heavy, my feet are heavy, the fork to eat with is just too darn heavy, my eyelids are heavy.
I'm not sure if I'm mourning or bordering on a nervous breakdown. What, exactly, symbolizes the onset of one?
Thank you, everyone, for all the support I've been getting. This is truly an awesome forum.