What is WRONG with me? :/

[eenie114]

Many of you already know that my mom is pregnant with my sixth sibling. This will make me the oldest of seven.
I've never been a "little kid person". I like them, but I'm sure not a huge fan, either. It's nothing personal, I just don't do well with the five to ten range. Babies I can do well with.
But I find myself unable to be even a little bit excited. Most of my friends come from large families, are ecstatic when their mom is pregnant, and can't wait to have a bunch of kids themselves.
Somehow it's not my thing. I've been raised to be a homemaker, and I have no interest in much of it.
Supposedly if I "quit focusing on the negative parts" of a new baby, I'll be excited. I'm not sure there are any positives.
Walking? Talking? Been there, done that. Frilly baby clothes? Spare me. And then there's the diapers and spitup. Whoohoo.
Plus this almost gaurentees a move once s/he is older and we need more space. I'm finally settled here, and now my days with my friends seem to be numbered. We'd be moving at least an hour away, so that we'd be closer to my stepdad's office.
Sorry to ramble and whine. I just seem to be having a bad day.

 

[sourland]

One of my favorite sayings is that, "A sense of responsibility is a heck of a burden." You, eenie, have a sense of responsibility and you are fully aware of the work that another baby will entail. Sourland loves kids, but he does not do real well with the 0 to 5 or 6 year old range. (Little kids are scared of him???) 6 on they realize that he is not quite as gruff as he first appears. You are not alone when it comes to relating.

You will be OK. You know that you are allowed a bad day now and then, right?
Just don't have too many. They are no fun.

 

[sheaviance1]

You are just being realistic. Having a baby around is certainly a blessing, but also is a whole lot of work. Some people look at it as a labor of love and are just plain joyful about it. I wouldn't worry about your lack of excitement. It will not lessen how much you love your sibling in the least. It's perfectly normal to feel a little resentment because of the changes that are imposed upon you. After all, you have a life too. But, being a realistic person, you will come to terms with these changes, and overcome your resentment in no time. You have a heart as big as gold, that much is clear in your every post.

 

[redhen]

I dont blame you, Kiddo..
Its a lot being the oldest of all those siblings, a lot of responsibility on you too i bet.
Just hang in there, and go with the flow, not much else you can do anyways..
Once she/he is here you'll fall in love with them..

 

[herfrds]

Nothing wrong with you at all. Each person is different.

 

[dainerra]

Oldest of 5 kids here. Nope, not super excited when Mom announced she was pregnant. Well, it WAS 20 years ago and that 5th baby is going to Marine boot camp in March, but yeah - not super excited. And I NEVER EVER wanted to have a flock of kids. I limited myself to 2. Kids are hard work and kids are expensive.

I love all my siblings, but nothing wrong with not being excited. Not everyone likes kids either. My husband loves our girls, don't get me wrong. But other people's kids? Nope, wants nothing to do with them. My Grandma used to ask (when we were teenagers and starting to date) "Do you know why babies are so cute? Because if they weren't people would drown them. They're loud, smelly, and do nothing for 9 months except sleep, scream, and poop."

 

[HeatherLynn]

Me personally I love kids. We have four, a few more would be nice love kids. BUT it is hardest on the older ones. My oldest was happy on this last one and after that he said he didn't want any more. She was a premie and honestly I think she wore his nerves out just as much as ours. He is a huge help and a willing helper but he just was finished with the whole thing. The younger ones were all excited but they did none of the work. He actually helps out tons and we have always appreciated it but honestly he was so stressed out by all the little issues with this last one.....well it just wasn't fair. He loves her to death but says another one would just be too much. It was at that point that we noticed how much he offered to do. It was alot. He wasn't being a kid. No kid offers to do that much. And we were so busy we didn't notice. I can see where his attitude changed, he was putting far too much on himself and we let him. So, we have forced him to back off some of the help, we reward it when he does help more, and we tell him how much we appreciate who he is. It all comes down to when one of the kids, starts acting like one of the parents its a recipe for a burnt out and probably bitter kid. Its just not fair and I am saying this from the moms point of view. It was just too easy to see. We didn't do any of this on purpose. It was just how he was, and how things were going at the time but once we noticed it was our job to change things.

Knowing all that though, try to find some joy from this sibling. I am sure they all love you and maybe knowing another little one will be passing out hugs and kisses to you will help.

 

[Snozzle]

I saw your post and it made me giggle, you sound exactly like me when I was younger. I am still not a fan of kids and cringe every time someone pushes a baby at me to hold. Ok I'm happy for them and it's kinda cute, but oh look there is a kitty to pet. It's not that I am afraid of the responsibility, not at all I have bottle raised many orphan animals and will get up all hours of the night is something little makes a squeak and heat up milk replacer, but I just don't have that connection to human babies. I always thought it would change when I got older but it never did. I was lucky enough to grow up with my best friend who was the same way, so I knew it wasn't just me. Neither one of us has kids now and there is no chance of us having any in the future. It does make relationships harder to work out, I was lucky enough that I met a wonderful guy that was married previously and has 3 kids in their teens and tweens that live with their mom, but come to visit sometimes, but don't live with us. That age is perfectly fine with me, I love those kids, I swear the girl is a mini me.
I think it may be a natural mechanism in people that since the population numbers are so high and the world has been a pretty rough place lately, something just kicks in that makes us not want to bring offspring into this. Biologically it is the case that in industrialized high population areas fertility has gone down drastically, so why not psychologically too. I just think some of us are here to keep the species going and some of us are here for another purpose, you may just have to find yours. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you, there are many people out there just like you!

 

[Avalon1984]

My husband comes from a family of 5, me, I only have a brother. I don't think I'd have the patience for 4 or 5 siblings. Nah. Not me. But then I am not a kid person at all, I am a cute fluffy baby chicken and foal kind of person

 

[SkCk2011]

I have read several of your posts and had previously been a lurker so It would seem your reaction is normal. . . it seems like you as an older sibling shoulder a lot of the responsibility for the younger ones ( not a bad thing!) and take on the role of 'helper' so feeling some resentment at having another baby added to your list of kids to help pick up after , dress, tend to ect is okay. I'm sure you do love your siblings and you will love this one too when it arrives but your anxious about the added chores it will create. As long as you smile and don't go out of your way to be rude about the baby then I'd think not being all bubbly and excited 24-7 is okay!