What kind of grandmother??!!

[gryeyes]

I am an old lady of 58, have never had any kids, so I'll never be a granny. I have, however, been an awesome auntie to nieces and nephews by marriage. (I've been married and divorced thrice.)

No man in my life, at this time in my life, one would get in my way, I'm sure.

But I will treat children as if they are responsible persons and I refuse to talk baby-talk to 'em. (I am not even sure I use baby talk with my beloved companion animals or any of the flock! I talk sweet to 'em, but not ooochie goochie izzums fuzzy wuzzums.)

I already dress totally for comfort when I am not at the office working. Truthfully, even then I wear Crocs and don't wear a bra. Mwaaahaaaahaaaa!

I sit and smoke on my veranda and talk to the chickens, ducks and geese, especially when they come up onto the veranda to get some attention. Sometimes I have a glass with some vodka in it, next to my ashtray.

Not very fond of kids, so I would probably be cantankerous with 'em. Don't touch my stuff, No means No, you can pour your own glass of milk, missy. Or get your own can of Diet Pepsi - I WILL open it for you if that's difficult for you, child.

That kind of grandmother fits me, if I were one.

 

[Beekissed]

I'll be the cool and weird grandma that has farm animals, shows the grandkids what the inside of a chicken's gizzard looks like, makes treasure maps and homemade tents for them when they come to stay all night and stays up with them to watch for shooting stars.

I'll be the grandma that the grandkids love to visit and never want to leave her house....until they become teens and then they won't want to do all those stuffy old things. Then I'll become the granny that participates in a mani/pedi party and buys their prom dresses!

Later I'll be the grandma that beats everyone at Bingo at the nursing home and stays up all night reading a book, sleeps on the sofa in the guest lounge on Sunday afternoons and hogs the communal newspaper just so I can read the funnies first!

 

[EmtheFishLady]

Quote:
I thought you already were that?

I choose 3.

 

[Animalian]

My friend and I plan to be the creepy but cute old ladies with realllly long grey hair that constantly giggle, and sit and feed the ducks at the park

 

[EmtheFishLady]

Quote:
That's me right now.

 

[CluckyJay]

Naked, toothless running down the street! It'll be fun to accuse people for looking at my grannylicious boot-ay!

 

[Animalian]

Speaking of creepy grandmas, for christmas my nan sent my fiancee a black g-string with the words "Golden balls" on the front in gold. Creepy enough, but no, she also included a note that said "now you match *my name*'s Grandad!!! HA!" He was soooo creeped out it was hilarious, best thing is my nan lives in england, she's coming to visit next year and...he is genuinely scared of meeting her in person!

My nan freaks me out a LOT but I love her so much lol shes a good laugh!

 

[heatherscreations1969]

Ok...this will only make sense to people who have ever read Terry Pratchett's novels......My mum is exactly like Granny Weatherwax...but I want to be like Nanny Ogg, I can just see myself sitting in a tin bath with a bottle of whiskey and singing rude songs

 

[sourland]

Quote:
My Mom who lived to be 97 used to say, "Nothing wrong with growing old - acting old, now that's a sin."

There's a lot of truth there!

 

[sheila3935]

Quote:
sounds like something I would do right now