What to do about a close relative who invites themselves over?

[Germaine_11.20]

Every year my sister invites herself over for every Holidayand birthday. She never allows anyone to come to her house because it is never clean. She uses that as an excuse.
My father lives with me and she also uses that as a reason she can come over without being invited. I wouldn't mind so much if she didn't get nasty about something everytime she was here or if she knew when to go home.
She can be counted on to sit there in a chair, not moving and arms folded across her chest in battle mode. Only if she is in a good mood and everything goes her way is she pleasant to be around.
If someone quotes dinner too late or too soon- she gets snotty
If you don't sit and talk to her most of the day or have other plans for the day she gets snotty
If someone says something she doesn't like she gets snotty

Most of the year we get along, but over any birthday or holiday I hate having her around because she is like a dark rain cloud over a picnic.
If I try to tell her ANYTHING about how she is not being reasonable she is more than snotty, but I can't say it here on BYC.
She is my sister, I do love her but I don't know what to do about these issues over the holidays other than tell her the truth and have her never talk to me again. (And don't think I am joking)
I should be enjoying the holidays but all I do is dread them. Anyone else have this problem or advice?

 

[rebelcowboysnb]

I tell people that if they dont like something then theres the door. Usually works. Most dont leave but they do shut up.

 

[Wildsky]

Call her, tell her this year's Christmas party is on the 27th at your place. Then call her on the 26th and say it was cancelled.

 

[BedHead]

I'd be tempted to, when I answered the door, exclaim nicely 'Oh! I was just on my way out! Sorry, but I will have to get you to come back in three days when I'll be back' and slam the door in her face. I'd never really do that though. I'd let her in and listen to her complain and then come on to the internet and complain about her

 

[ArizonaNessa]

I would go outta my way to remodel my home (paint, drywall, anything disruptive) next time it comes down to who's house to have the celebration at. This way she is forced to clean her house and when I did go to the function I would sit in a chair puff up like a frog and complain about every single tiny thing I could possibly dream up to complain about the entire time.

OR

I would make a beautiful holiday wreath for my front door with a banner across it that said, " Crappy attitudes not invited!"

OR

I would tell her flat out that she makes me and everyone around miserable with the way she acts. I would tell her that I love her very much and want her to join in the FUN but if she insists on being a big turd then she can just sit at home alone and I would call her during the festivities and wish her a happy day.

 

[Goose and Fig]

Have you tried liquor?

Sounds like she needs to loosen up.

 

[Germaine_11.20]

My DH, myself and my Dad asked her to come over Christmas eve instead of Christmas day for dinner. She folded her arms and said no. That Christmas day she was coming over and that it was the one day of the year that she wasn't going to compromise. That it was important.
I wasn't given an option, and we were all having dinner in public on Thanksgiving. To avoid causing a major argument and scene, I didn't say anything. But she knows what everyone elses preferences are.

 

[Dar]

there is a reason why i moved away from my family and have chosen not to talk to my sister

 

[davidb]

Greet her at the door nicely with some fresh baked chocolate chip cookies, Make sure the ones she gets is the ones that you put Ex Lax in , It should be a truly moving experience for her

 

[ArizonaNessa]

LOL door opens- Oh hi sis nice to see you! Here's a bottle of Patron and the bathroom is all yours. See you in the living room when the bottles empty and the nice you comes out. Welcome Welcome