What to do with an unsupportive husband... chicken tractor plans

[Corey NC]

Well I dont have a husband but I have a Mom and a Dad. Both are great but think I have gone a bit over board with the chickens but as long as I pay for a nd do everthing myself they are fine with it. Originally they wer thinkning may be 6 or 7 chickens just to get some fresh eggs every day. Now I have 20 adult chickens a brooder full of chicks and eggs on there way nad planning on building a new coop. My dad helped uild the coop and expand it....and expand it agian.

I have found the best way to get what I want is to never do anything wrong, grades always up, chores always done, those kind of things. Then if I want something I just get it and I'm like, "Dad, I am getting some eggs can I use your paypal." or "Mom, I am getting an incubator. here is the cash, can I use your credit card?" See I just do what I am told and I get what I want. : D

 

[JillsChicks]

Dear Corey -

Your approach certainly seems to be working in the chicken department!

It seems like pleasing your parents by doing all the things they like to see you do is getting you what you want. But take it from this "wise old hen," I would caution you a bit. They are probably seeing right through you and will start to feel bad that you're manipulating them rather than extending them selfless love and respect.

Have you seen the movie "Facing the Giants?" One of the best parts happens when a teenage guy decides that he's going to do what his dad asks even though his dad has kinda neglected him and is hard on him. He tells his dad that he'll respect his wishes, no matter what. After the kid leaves, another man turns to the dad and says, "For what it's worth, I'd give my right arm to hear my kid say that to me." Their whole relationship turns around and they're really able to show each other how much they truly care for each other.

I think if you try such a little experiment on your dad and mom, you will discover something wonderful. Try just once not "telling" your parents what you're going to do, but asking them how they feel about it and then following whatever they tell you! THIS WILL BE HARD if they disagree with what you want, but let it happen cheerfully. You'll be amazed how they really support you when they know that you are pleasing them not to get what you want, but because you are showing them respect and loving them.

I'm still trying to wait on my dear husband's wishes for these chicks. Let's see if I can do what I'm telling you to try! Wish me strength, Ann

 

[BirdBrain]

Quote:
I'm late getting in on this post, but I had to laugh at this statement. I was at Lowe's yesterday when my husband called (he's away on a business trip) and asked me where I was and what I was up to. I told him I was at Lowe's buying materials so I could build a computer desk (table). He asked me what I was buying and then proceeded to tell me that I didn't have all the materials I would need and gave me a shopping list for the rest of the stuff he would like to see on the desk (pull out keyboard hardware, screws, more wood of varying sizes). I had to laugh when he said, "and when do you plan for us to build this?" He is usually very supportive of my projects. He, like me, is longing for a large piece of property "where I can go out back and shoot target and trap/skeet.......and you can have your chickens." He's not big on chickens but knows I am and wants to give me "the desires of my heart."

Ann, you are right about waiting on your husband!! I hope that he sees with the ones you have that his farm is not turning into the kind of barnyards that he has seen.

 

[Judymae]

Corey-I want you to teach my 13 year old son your mentality on life. He isn't anything like you. I push him to do his chores. I push him to just pass his classes. Love him dearly just wish he had a different outlook on life. You are doing great! You will go so far in life and with your choices it will be a happy life at that.

 

[chickbea]

Corey NC - I might have a kid if I knew I'd get one like you.

As for some of the rest of you, I'm not letting my husband read some of these postings! Apparently there are quite a few lucky and spoiled husbands out there, and my poor guy isn't one of them! He doesn't get any more involved with my animal decisions than I get in his tool buying decisions...and that's the way I like it!

 

[Arklady]

Some people are just blessed with partners that do eventually turn around and help. My hubby is not of that class. I tend to think of him as being on the low end of being a decent husband. Now before you jump on me, we have been married for 26 years and I am filing for a divorce. Because after all these years it is clear the only supporting he will do is with himself. All of his projects are ok mine are not. Given a chore to do by God I would follow God first not my hubby because I can trust God. I cannot trust my husband. Be that as it may he continues to ignore everything I do and even if I was dropping dead he wouldn't lift a finger even though I supported him with his semi truck buying fiasco. He does not join me in any way he is like a observer and wants me to fall flat on my face. All of my pens I have done myself and if I lost any animals he would gripe me out throughly. I already have the papers. I have decided I cannot live the rest of my life with such a cranky griping person. I USED to be in love with my hubby. But the kind of love I feel for him now is as if he were any stranger on the road. Don't feel sorry for me... I really don't need it but me and my chickens are great. So are my two boer goats and three sheep and other assorted animals.

Arklady

 

[chickbea]

Arklady -
I don't feel sorry for you - I'm glad you are giving this dead weight the heave-ho! You should be proud of yourself that you have made this difficult decision.
As I always tell my nieces: having another person in your life should make you feel supported, happy, loved, and cared for. If you are constantly feeling overwhelmed, unloved, insecure, and stressed, then THAT IS NOT A GOOD RELATIONSHIP, no matter how much you think you love the loser. And can your love and support change him? HECK, NO!
You go, girl! Toss him on his ear, go out and buy yourself and your animals something frivilous (sp?), and don't look back.

 

[Judymae]

Arklady--I'm proud of you! Most women don't have the guts you do. I have a neighbor is a very abusive relationship and she tells me she only has ten more years with her husband. I asked why stay 10 more years and she said she wants to stay with him until the kids are all grown! I couldn't believe it. I tried to explain to her what the kids were seeing and how they would act in their own relationships later in life and she said the kids were already treating her like the husband did. They see no respect for her so they show her no respect. I wish more women could do what you are doing and end it. No one should stay where they are unhappy. Some don't realize that you don't need a partner to be happy. You have to learn to be happy with yourself. It can be hard but well worth it. Good luck Arklady!!!

 

[Dzzzyd]

Well, my husband wasn't really into chickens like I was. I really wanted them bad and have for years. You see...There were two family properties when we moved back into town. One was right in town. A small house on a small lot. One was the old family farm, (majorly run down), which was where his Grandmother raised CHICKENS! I didn't get to move onto that property, so my husband gave me chickens for Mothers Day. I do all the work, have built the coop. He is supportive though now. If I need something he sees to it that I get it, but he doesn't get attached to them like a pet. He helped his Grandmother as a child, so this is probably part of his attitude. They are just work to him. Nothing to enjoy. To me, they relax me. Good luck!

 

[Dzzzyd]

Arklady, I did what you are doing 17 years ago from a man that treated me like I was just a nothing. I was with him for almost 20 years. So much wasted time in my life. I now have a wonderful life and know it can get better. God will get you through this Arklady.