What we got ourselves into

[Imp]

Good gosh, Good Luck!

Imp

 

[babylady4]

These boys will love you and be your family for the rest of your lives..... You have the opportunity to correct the negative and encourage the positive. I can not think of a better way than with chickens.

You will have a rollercoaster ride raising them but eventually they will come around with encouragement and discipline.

My hat is off to your both; you have the courage and gumption to do what few others would do. Congratulations on becoming parents!

My only question is; what happens to the 16 yr old boy when grandma gets too sick? Foster care? Nobody wants him because he is too old?

 

[danielle82]

Wow, Im so sorry to hear about the rough patch you have gone through!
Yes, having two teenagers suddenly in your home, is a handful for anyone, esp. Teenagers that are known to be a handful! Just remember to keep talking to them. I just had my 17 year old nephew move in me, and he isn't even a "problem" kid, but we've already had a few run-aronds. Just make sure you let them know what the "rules" are, even if it seems like it should be common sense, let them know. And to keep things positive, for every behavior you correct, make sure you point out two or three positive things that you like. That way they know you don't think they are "bad" kids.
It sounds like family life has been thrown at you, lol Good Luck and keep your chin up! Make sure you and your partner get some time together, it helps to come together and talk without kids around, just some time alone.

 

[key west chick]

I was wondering about the oldest boy myself. Its so sad to see siblings split up. Lots of hugs and prayers for you and your growing family. Someday, these kids will thank you from the bottoms of their little hearts.

 

[92caddy]

The oldest has made a complete turn around to what he was like. He is all about helping grandma when she starts to get sick. She starts treatments thursday this week. Hes not the same kid that he was a year ago.

The middleone that is with us, he is doing very well right now, but I know we will have our ups and down with him. He loves being around all the animals and is a BIG help with all of them. We have told him what the rules are. He will be 14 in a month or so and he is just now reading at the 2nd grade level. He is "labeled", but we dont know what, he has been on meds, but we dont know what, he hasnt taken any for a year or better. We are still trying/waiting to get all of their records to see what all and where all they have been. When this one acts out, he gets really mean, he likes to hit and kick and he is a big boy.

The youngest is a handful in everyway that you can think. He is doing good now, but I know when grandma starts to put her foot down, he will act out. When she starts to get sick from the treatments is when he will start to act out cause grandma wont be able to stand her ground with him. We have all decided that when that time comes he will come to stay with us.

These boys have been thru so much. I couldnt even begin to tell you all what all they have been thru. Their mother was so mean to them at times and the things that some of her BFs have done to them makes me sick. They have been homeless before with their mother, living out in the woods with no food or shelter. They have been taken from her and given back several times. I just dont understand the system. She has been declared unfit and she said the only reason she wants them is for the money.


Poor MIL has buried 2 husbands and 3 of her childern and this is her 4th battle with cancer. I feel so sad for her. I dont know how she made it thru all of this at times. Her other childern dont want nothing to do with these boys and we stepped up to help cause we know that there is no way she can do it all on her own.

We all have been thru alot the last few weeks, we are tried, scared and confussed, we are just taking one day at a time.

I Thank You all for the kind words, good thoughts and prayers, its nice knowing that others care and I have a place to unload/unwind when I need too......................THANK YOU SOOO MUCH.........

 

[Luvin Life]

Wow, you two are incredibly awesome people. These children may be a handful now, they will love you like no other.

They needed someone who could love them , show them what love is and how it should be for them. Now they will understand what family is like. They need structure, disipline, love, rules and someone that will be there always for them.

I know you were meant to help these young souls, you are wonderful to take them under your wing.

I'm sending prayers,

, and

your way. God bless you two!

 

[easttxchick]

Ya'll need to be commended for what you are doing-most people would run as fast as they could the other way.

I hope and pray all goes smoothly for you and your new family.

 

[Portia]

Both of you are amazing for giving these kids a chance. Although you will certainly have ups and downs, you may be the first stable, secure, consistent and safe situation these kids have ever known. I was a middle school special education teacher for 15 years and had many kids from similar circumstances and it was amazing how much they acted out simply because they never had anything stable in their lives they could count on. Best of luck & hang in there, you may just be amazed and rewarded many times over for your efforts.

 

[fordmommy]

It really is a good thing that you take those boys in. You're right. Someone needs to show them right from wrong and what better people to show them than family. Don't ever give up on those boys. If you do....they will never have a chance in life. They will give up on themselves too.

As for the living and going to school nearer to you....you could make that a decition for the court. Ask them to rule that they go to a school closer to you. Then you will not look like the bad guy who takes away all of the friends. A new start is just the ticket to getting those boys back on track. They could always keep in touch with their friends and maybe even have some of those old friends over for sleep overs or something. My guess is that they will just move on and probably don't have that good of friends anyway.

Tons of prayers and hope sent your way. Good luck.

 

[Chicken Fruit]

When I was a tween my parents took in a teenage relative who was in a gang, into drugs, solicited himself for money, and was in big trouble with the law. That was the first of many troubled violent youths that they and we have taken in over the years. I am grown now and while I myself dont want to get into that sort of thing, I would if it were this sort of situation.

I can say from experience that boys in that situation, living that sort of life, being in trouble and causing trouble- theyre scared shistless. ABSOLUTELY Shistless. Thats why they function on the remedial social level that they do. theyre depraved. They have no hope, no options, and no matter how much they WANT to please and do right, no matter how well they can see the right choice to make, they lack the training to know HOW to DO right, in any kind of consistent worthwhile manner.

Being a man in this world is hard, you spend your life trying to be big enough, strong enough, smart enough, quick enough, savvy enough so that no other man has a chance to notice and call you out on some weakness. Boys like these are thrust into that existence at too young an age, they have to be men, in the animal survival sense, without the ability. They survive on BSing and puffing themselves up. It stunts the development of the other social skills needed to be functional.

Anyway, what you're going to find yourselves doing is part therapy, part guidance, and part rehabilitation. And that is in itself hard work. Not just for you, but for them. You have the foresight to see a way out of their situation for them, but they are just as equally unable to believe or see such a hope. And on top of it all what little security they had in their own family has been abruptly taken away completely.

You'll make it though. Just have the solidity within yourselves and your family structure, and the grace to see even the smallest efforts and change. You're dealing with three grown men who have the emotional and social skills of young children.

Pull through for them, they need it!