My DD is 21. After she graduated high school, she couldn't wait to get away from me because I was always angry. I was angry because I worked 10 - 14 hours a day, came home every day to a sink over flowing with dirty dishes that I had to do before fixing dinner, and the whole time the family was sitting in front of their computers. DD had her computer in the kitchen and would be sitting there with a headset on and giggling while I was working. Afterward, they all went to bed while I still had all of the critters to take care of and other things that needed done. DD would wash laundry (if she needed something washed) and cram 2 loads of clean laundry into one laundry basket where they would stay until I folded them. I tried telling the family that I was overwhelmed with it all, they still wouldn't help. So yes, I was angry.
I told the kids while they were growing up that if they wanted to go to college, they would have to find a way to pay for it. I simply could not afford to send two kids to college. Over my objections, DH co-signed a loan for DD to go to college. She chose a college 4 hours away instead of the local university where she wouldn't have had to worry about rent. The first summer, she didn't want to come home so agreed to sublet a place from some guys that were going home for the summer. Problem was, she couldn't afford it, so without telling me, DH co-signed a personal loan for her. I never knew about that one until the bank called about the first missed payment. The next year, DH co-signed the college loan again, then in Dec she got booted from college for a low GPA. The extra curricular life was much more fun than doing the work. She got accepted the next year, DH co-signed again (telling me that 'it's the only way that she will get a college education'). In Dec, again booted for a low GPA. She regularly misses payments on the loans, and even though DH told her to tell him when she can't pay it, she never says a word. The bank calls instead, and by then we have late charges added on. I don't feel that she is being responsible at all. Now she got a second job, so should actually have some money. She sent in her loan payment, but the bank messed up some routing numbers and the money ended up back in her account. So she spent it. She convinced the bank to defer the payment 'since it was their fault', but even then she still over drew her checking account by the end of the month and got money from dad 'so that she can show the bank that she is responsible now'.
Now here is where I have a question... my barn cats had kittens (spay/neuter is a work in progress). She has her cat out there, but now wants a kitten 'to keep her cat company'. I don't think she can afford the kitten (I won't go into the not responsible enough part). I told her that she can't afford it, and now she is mad at me and says that my 'lack of faith stings a lot'. My lack of faith has to do with the fact that just this year so far we have been stuck with close to $1000 in payments on her behalf. I just don't see how she would afford to have the kitten spayed and handle any emergencies that come up. When she took her cat from here, the cat was chunky and I told her to watch what the cat eats, she needed to lose weight. Now the cat is fatter than ever and I have tried telling her that the cat could end up diabetic. I told her to feed a canned food diet (they are low in carbs), but she said that she doesn't have time to open a can of food and scoop into the cats dish twice a day. I had a diabetic cat. It's expensive, and testing twice a day before insulin shots takes a lot more time than averting the problem earlier.
Sorry for the long rant... my question is... would you give her the kitten?
I told the kids while they were growing up that if they wanted to go to college, they would have to find a way to pay for it. I simply could not afford to send two kids to college. Over my objections, DH co-signed a loan for DD to go to college. She chose a college 4 hours away instead of the local university where she wouldn't have had to worry about rent. The first summer, she didn't want to come home so agreed to sublet a place from some guys that were going home for the summer. Problem was, she couldn't afford it, so without telling me, DH co-signed a personal loan for her. I never knew about that one until the bank called about the first missed payment. The next year, DH co-signed the college loan again, then in Dec she got booted from college for a low GPA. The extra curricular life was much more fun than doing the work. She got accepted the next year, DH co-signed again (telling me that 'it's the only way that she will get a college education'). In Dec, again booted for a low GPA. She regularly misses payments on the loans, and even though DH told her to tell him when she can't pay it, she never says a word. The bank calls instead, and by then we have late charges added on. I don't feel that she is being responsible at all. Now she got a second job, so should actually have some money. She sent in her loan payment, but the bank messed up some routing numbers and the money ended up back in her account. So she spent it. She convinced the bank to defer the payment 'since it was their fault', but even then she still over drew her checking account by the end of the month and got money from dad 'so that she can show the bank that she is responsible now'.
Now here is where I have a question... my barn cats had kittens (spay/neuter is a work in progress). She has her cat out there, but now wants a kitten 'to keep her cat company'. I don't think she can afford the kitten (I won't go into the not responsible enough part). I told her that she can't afford it, and now she is mad at me and says that my 'lack of faith stings a lot'. My lack of faith has to do with the fact that just this year so far we have been stuck with close to $1000 in payments on her behalf. I just don't see how she would afford to have the kitten spayed and handle any emergencies that come up. When she took her cat from here, the cat was chunky and I told her to watch what the cat eats, she needed to lose weight. Now the cat is fatter than ever and I have tried telling her that the cat could end up diabetic. I told her to feed a canned food diet (they are low in carbs), but she said that she doesn't have time to open a can of food and scoop into the cats dish twice a day. I had a diabetic cat. It's expensive, and testing twice a day before insulin shots takes a lot more time than averting the problem earlier.
Sorry for the long rant... my question is... would you give her the kitten?
