Whats the craziest thing your kids did?

I guess because we live way out in the middle of nowhere my boys have always peed outside. Well my mom took my youngest boy to the zoo one day and they were standing in line to get tickets. When she wasn't watching he pulled his pants down and peed right there in line he was about 2 years old. My mom was completely horrified!!
 
My (now) 11 y/o talked EARLY and PLAIN. Long before he walked he talked in perfect, well spoken, sentences. However, ONE word he had issues with. Pumpkin. It came out "fu**in". Bad???? Yes, REALLY bad at Halloween. We would walk through stores while my beautiful, curly blond haired little darling would shout out "LOOK MOMMY FU**IN" I just wanted to curl up and hide.
 
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OMG!
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My kids? We were staying at a cottage that had one of those funnel-type wood stoves. I guess it was a do it yourself project, because the base was a 4x4 square fram filled with decorative rocks. I went in the kitchen to fetch a snack for my darlings (then 3 and 5). My efforts were interrupted by screams. The 5y.o. was throwing the rocks at his DS!
 
OMG - I will never let the kid forget this one....

I have three sons, and when this happened the oldest was 8, the next was 5 and the youngest was 4.

I had told my oldest son that he could NOT watch the South Park movie - under no circumstances. So they went to Grandma's to stay for a week - and when they come back the middle child and I go to the grocery store for some soda and popcorn - gonna have a movie night.

We're in the soda aisle, and this 17/18 year old young man was stocking 2 liter bottles of pop on the lower shelf, on his knees in the aisle.... we are wandering, looking, discussing which pop to buy....

My darling 5 year old child looks up at me and VERY loudly asks "Mom, what's a Dildo?"

The young man stocking pop starts choking... almost falls over... can't seem to get himself under control....

I look at my sweet faced child and ask "Where on earth did you hear that word?"

"We watched South Park at Grandma's and I wanna know what a dildo is."

Young man stocking pop is still choking, and not leaving - he isn't gonna miss out on this answer....

I say, "Did Adam tell Grandma it was ok to watch South Park ?" (My mom had no clue what South Park was - she figured it was a cartoon, and therefore a kid's movie. Apparently she didn't bother to stick around and watch it with them, either.)

"Yeah, but I didn't understand some of it. Can we get Barqs?"

"Grab whatever pop you want, we need to get home so I can talk to Adam, then I gotta call Grandma..." we made our purchases and left the store - the young man was still choking on the floor - interspersed with a few snorts.

I think I didn't shop at that store for a month at least after that.
 
When my DD was about two she climbed up on the table and decided to 'drink' the pepper shaker. She thought it was a cup! Poor girl.
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When she was three she dumped a WHOLE bottle of shampoo on our carpet. The more you scrub, the more it suds! Talk about CLEAN floors!
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They have wrote on the walls in THREE houses, climbed up on desks to get the markers down, at 2 yrs old.

A few days a go, DH and I were sick and we both fell asleep watching a movie. The kids (4 and 2) came into the kitchen, got three new boxes of baking soda and two bottles of olive oil and dumped them, together, all over our wooden dining room floor, and then proceeded to crawl around in it, making roads with their toy trucks.
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And we were only asleep for about fifteen minutes. And that is just the tip of the iceberg. I thought all kids were like this, but my MIL and mom say they have NEVER seen anyone's kids as ornery and curious as ours....
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And everyone still tells us how well behaved they are, in resturants and stuff. It is just that curiousity....
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I still love em, though!
 
I would be furious about the South Park thing!!!


My youngest, when he was about 1.5 or 2, dressed up as Peter Pan with a hat, belt, and sword. He was looking for me and apparently I was in the bathroom and he couldn't find me. He decided I must be outside, so he opened the front door and walked out onto the landing. When I came out of the bathroom a minute later, he was entertaining some neighbors by dancing around in his Peter Pan outfit. The problem was, the hat, belt, and sword was all he had on... a naked Peter Pan dance.
 
Got another one...

My youngest son to this day does not like Chocolate. He knows Chocolate is good stuff, but just can't get past the picture his two older brothers put into his head when he was about 3 years old....

Easter is a tough time of year with a kid who won't eat Chocolate because his brothers told him it was made from Dog Doodie.

He got them back, though, when he was 7 he bought a pack of candy canes for the Christmas tree (about 99 cents for the whole box) then sold them to his brothers one at a time off the tree for 25 cents each.

I have to wonder what amusement God gets out of giving someone three (or more) sons at one time....

As they got older it got worse....

There was the time my youngest (then 12) and his buddy down the street built a battering ram out of an old wagon, a piece of 4x4 and then stole said buddy's sisters Barbie head off her doll to nail onto the end of it. Thank goodness they never got the catapult to work.
 
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I was not pleased at all, and told her in the future please don't take Adam's word for it, to call me before she chooses a movie for them to watch.

That wasn't the worst she ever did, though.
My mom has this horrible habit while driving of yelling at other drivers (not that they can hear her, but she does it anyway - and it is usually HER driving that is bad).

My oldest was 3 at time, and he and I went yard saling in the "nice" part of town. We stop at this one place that has these two older ladies sitting and chatting while everyone looks at their stuff....

Adam and I get done shopping (he had just returned from staying at Grans for the weekend) and are almost to the end of the driveway to go to the car when this other car passes by ont he road VERY fast and Adam yells out "Slow down ya stupid Sonofa... (he finished the word)"

I turn to see the two older ladies holding their mouths and looking in shock at me and the kid - I yell back "I'm just babysitting, I don't know where he gets this from."
 
I was mortified at the time but now we laugh about it. When my youngest was probably 2 we went to lunch at Dennys. THe little one was in a high chair. We started smelling that 'certain' smell and knew we had to get going and get him changed. My older son, about 15 at the time, picked him up and we proceeded to the register. Only to notice there is now poop on older sons shirt...........and all over the back of youngest son. Paid and took him into the bathroom stripped him and changed his diaper, it was a real mess. We ran out of there realizing it must have been all over the high chair. We didnt go back for at least a year. Luckily we had just bought older son a new shirt so he changed in the car.
 
OHHHHHH........all the movie references reminded me of what my kids did to me recently! We were looking at movies and my kids have decided they NEED to watch Child's Play. Nope, UH UH not happening! They are 11, 9, and almost 8. Anyway, they did the normal "but MOMMMMMMMM........" thing then my VERY rational 9 y/o decides to use reason on old mom. So he starts saying "But Mom, I checked and it is just rated R. You KNOW you let us watch far worse than R rated movies all the time so I don't see the problem. Besides, we LOVE blood and gore." OMG, there were old women about to faint, a young man turning pruple trying not to laugh, and a whole slew of people just staring.
 

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