Whats the craziest thing your kids did?

[Chicks R Friends NOT Food]

Lets see.. I have no kids yet (wayy too young). But I know that my sister bascially catapulted me ont o the floor when I was a baby. We were in a store, the cart was empty except me. She wanted "to see the baby" so, little 3 year old on opposite end of me.. It flipped.

Lots of former stepdad stories too... see if you can figure why it's "former"....

My former stepdad fell alseep when he was supposed to be watching my 1 y/o bro (now 7). Well smart little baby was very mobile for his age.. went into my room, grabbed the iron off of a high shelf (still no idea how) and actually plugged it in and "ironed the floor" to this day I have a big melted iron spot on the carpet in just the right spot to not be covered up.

One other time, he (same "great" step dad) decided that my unpottytrained bro could go into the pool without a diaper b/c he forgot to bring the swimmy diapers. Well wouldn't you know he had to go?? It wasn't number one...That pool cleared out fast... I don't think we went back for a while...I feel bad for the cleaning crew.

He also learned a few months ago the finger (from his dad of course), we were riding down a major highway, getting dirty looks and beeps and not knowing why.. he had his arm out the window causually giving a one-finger salute. When asked why he said "that's what dad does when he's driving!"

 

[mistylady]

Oh the things ...... the wonderous things ... the great things kids do!!!! Start with painting the wall with poop. Add washing the toilet bowl with mommys hairbrush (swirly swirly). Toss in the ever popular hit the goat with stick and land ungracefully on the ground when she butts you. Finish with my son saying "I no need to pee.... already did." Yes, you too can have a small child that pees in his bedroom floor. I'll send him to you!!!!!! Free shipping! At least my daughter is some what milder.

 

[Rhett&SarahsMom]

Quote:
all at one time?

 

[suenrob]

A couple of things come to mind right away:
My kids are grown now, but when they were small, my oldest who was 5 at the time, cut his own hair and his 4 year old sisters. She has a pig tail way up on her head (like Pebbles) and he cut it off all the way to her scalp!!!!! His own hair had several bald spots. I rushed them to the salon to try to get them "fixed" before their dad saw. My son didnt turn out so bad, just got a buzz cut but poor DD looked like a little boy for months!!!!!

The other thing was when the same son plastered his younger brothers hair with Crisco shortning. Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff out of a toddlers hair?????

 

[LilBizzy]

They have done some crazy things, but there are 2 things that they said that made me laugh/embarassed the daylights out of me.
My daughter was probably 7, in a public bathroom, and loudly asked " Mom- why would anyone pay 25 cents for a napkin when there are free papertowls?"

My son, age somewhere around 3ish, again, public bathroom- in a campground. I took him to go potty, then made him wait while I went. I guess my bladder was quite full. He said " wow, mom.. you must have a REALLY BIG weiner to pee that much"

That camping trip, we tried to get son to water the trees instead of me having to drag him to the public potty. He refused. But then we got home, and for several days, he actually went outside when he had to pee. Stood in the middle of the driveway. And yep, we lived on a main road.. a very busy main road..

 

[hennypenny9]

'Kay, I don't have any kids, but I have a story...

I walk into our neighbor (and good friend's) house, and hear crying and screaming. The little boy had tried to be a "big boy" and brush his teeth by himself. Well... He didn't use toothpaste, he used hemorrhoid cream!

(don't worry, he hadn't swallowed any.)

 

[Chirpy]

Oh ok, I'll share this one: When my son was two he also couldn't say the word "truck" he replaced the "tr" with a "F".

We had dinner guests over who we didn't know real well. We adults were sitting at the table and he was playing across the room on the floor. All of a sudden he yells: "Mommy, get the F******K out of here!" One of his little trucks was stuck inside a car carrier truck. I knew exactly what he wanted... our poor guests were mortified because we never swear at our house.

They have become great friends of ours and it's one of their favorite stories now.

 

[maplesky7]

Rhett&SarahsMom :

Quote:
all at one time?

no...the vaseline in the bathroom--wall, pot, sink, floor, medicine cabinet and contents---- was last summer.

Then about a month ago she got into paint and glitter glue and used my wood table as her canvas and her body.

(the way I flipped, you'd think she'd learn her lesson...nope.)

then a couple of weeks ago she did the A & D ointment and the pillow, herself, and the elderly cat.

then last week she stripped down and did the red sprinkles...dry craft sprinkles but they stuck to her none the less...all over and in EVERY crack and cranny...and fanny and then some.

oh...and she does it with her yogurt, ranch dressing, ketchup, and icecream....too.​

 

[WriterofWords]

When Steven was 5 I caught him dragging his sheet off his bed out the front door. I asked him what he was doing, thinking he was going to say camping or something,, no he wanted to do what mom was doing in the picture in my room,,,, parachuting. I made sure there were no ladders anywhere he could find them for a very long time.

 

[PotterWatch]

I have one that my Mom tells about one of my older brothers. He was about six at the time and he was playing in his room while my Mom was talking with a guest in the living room. After a while, she noticed that it was very quiet and decided to go check on him. When she looked in his room she discovered that he had managed to tie himself to the post of the bunk beds using 40ft of kite string! He didn't know how to untie himself and didn't want to get into trouble, so he was just standing there with all the string wrapped around him, silent as a mouse.