What's the weirdest advice someones given you?

zsazsa chick

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My grandma just told me:
(grandma) Don't get old!
(me) well, there isn't much you can do about that...
(grandma) well, you could jump off the Brooklyn Bridge.
Ugh my grama's so dang weird...
 
"See that dangly thing right there? *Points to wattle on hen* Touch it. It's warm." - My dad to my little cousin. Seriously.
 
Before my son was born I had gone through life being told I would never have children. When my sister-in-law's best friend (whacko) heard this, she went to her Priest and got me a bottle of blessed fish oil and told me to rub it all over my body and I would get pregnant. No I didn't do it, but the cats loved their food. When I got pregnant about 3 months later she gave the fish oil full credit.
 
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