What's the worst gift you ever received?

I somehow posted wrong, so reposting: Most men think practical, and really are thinking with their heart. The first year after my hubby came back from overseas (a Marine), the following Valentines Day he bought me a dozen pair of different socks. While at first I was not impressed, he dug a deeper hole, explaining my unnatural need to rub my icy feet up and down his hairy legs, seeping warmth. Bright guy caught on quick when the next morning I went shopping for adult sized pjs that are like the toddlers with feet in them and zip up the front.

But the worst is one which started from my sis whom got it from a work gift exchange: a dessert plate (white) painted with tiny veggies around the edges, with tiny glued clay slices of pie and cake. Glued in the middle is a life sized fake pineapple. It is hollowed so electric wiring and pipe can go through it: the front of the pineapple has a clock, and on top of the pineapple are seven different colored pastel tulips that light up. Sis wrapped and regifted to my son, and it shows up during birthdays, wedding and baby showers, Christmas, housewarmings, hidden in closets when visiting if we think we can get by with it. Whomever has it, by rules of our own, must display it in either living or family rooms until we pawn it to someone else. Last year, sis had it again, and we all flew to Texas to be with family. She stashed it in her bag. Didn't make it through the first time, but as it was being inspected, got lots of laughs in explaining. She begged them to take convescate it, but they turned her down.
 
For Christmas 2001 I got an instruction manual for a carpet shampooer, tossed onto my leggs while sitting in bed reading a book.
He said, "Here, we needed thid. The dog keeps crapping on the carpet"

I guess I'm lucky... he could have tossed the shampooer.

Christmas 2002 I got nothing...

Christmas 2003 I got a divoced.
 
I'm a practical person.
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But I'm also very weird so it's hard not to impress me. I've gotten...

Buck pee
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For Sammy I guess
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Sitting on my shelf, waiting to be used

A Raccon skull named Ricco. note I am in love with Ricco
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He has his own box by my bed. It's just a weird gift.

A $200 gift certificate to *ahem* a not so family frendly store (I was 10)
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It's now expired and hanging on my wall in a frame

A pillow

A bag of butt ugly clothes from 1950, Which I love
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A pair of really showy short shorts. And I mean they are short shorts
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Love them too
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16 mason jars of varous 40 year old snakes preserved in alcohol.

An un-born stingray in alcohol

Four book shelfs

30 assorted books
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an incubator

and last but not least two *used* breast inhancers. Yea, shure, I'm SOOO going to use those.
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we used to have a friend who had a unique way of gift giving..

First he would decide who was getting a gift that year (he would draw names from a hat).. and he would figure exactly how much he wanted to spend...

So every year on christmas eve he would go to the local department store (at the time it was an Ames).. he would walk down the isles just grabbing random items and toss them into the shopping cart.. a bra.. a dog toy.. a cheese slicer... you get the idea.. making sure he added up dollar amounts and making sure he had the same number of gifts as he had recipients... then he would get one type of wrapping paper.. so all the gifts would be wrapped with the same color and pattern.. when he got home he would make out all the gift tags and put them in a hat.. and then wrap each gift and toss it into a pile.. one by one he would grab a random package, then reach into the hat and pull out whichever label he happened to grab.. attach the label to the gift and move on to the next one.. So "Bob" might get a bra.. or a cheese slicer... or a dog toy... or whatever odd random thing his gift tag happened to get attached to... and with any luck "Bob" may actually like the gift or have a use for it.. but the chances of that were usually pretty slim

We were never on his gift list (never "won" the lottery for that .. so I think we just got lucky).. so I asked him once why he did his shopping this way.. he said he had gotten tired of people whining and complaining that whatever he had gotten for them was the wrong size or the wrong color or that they pretended that they liked it.. so since he felt holidays had gotten too materialistic.. and that they should be fun and stress free (he knew they would try to return whatever he bought anyway.. and no he didnt include a receipt).. he held his gift lottery.. he figured that the recipient could either gain a sense of humor or to heck with them!
On the plus side he never went over his holiday shopping budget!
 

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