when did parents stop parenting their children??

[Owner of Elvis]

At lunch with my 18 year old step daughter and she was relaying a story to us....the end result was that they don't say that someone out and out lied they say they must have been "pretending". This is what gov educ and pc had done to our poor children. Can't call them out because they've lied about something...have to say that they were just "pretending." Jimminy Christmas!!!!!!

 

[nonseq]

I guess I need to repost that link.

About changes in parenting and schooling are causing deficits in executive functioning.

 

[welsummerchicks]

What I think is 'it depends'. And I think every situation and every family is different.

That 'nature-nurture' debate is as old as mankind. It's in the blood, it's learned. No it's not. Yes it is.

The fact is, that kids both LEARN and COPY what they see AND they are born with certain tendencies. BOTH are true. And you don't really know when you glance at a group of people, exactly what is 'biology' and what is 'environment'. You only think you do. You don't really. As my SO said, 'we have to realize we are 'studying', not 'knowing''.

Some kids aren't born with normal brains. No one knows why this happens. Genes may not get copied right, the brain may not grow properly because genes that control how it grows aren't active.

Mothers who followed all the rules, ate well, rested, and saw the doctor all through their pregnancy, and their children are not born with normal brains. Maybe just a little bit, maybe a whole lot.

They can't control their tempers, they can't stand any frustration, they don't seem to learn cause and effect. There is something missing.

Some kids fall apart as teens and young adults. They start acting bad, being disobedient, rude, hard to deal with. Why? Well the fact is that most of the time, everyone is just guessing as to why. And every few years, there's a new fad that everyone follows about 'why'. And I don't really believe any of those fads are really the whole truth.

You see it from the time the child is born. Children really are different, they are born different. Some have problems and some don't have those problems, right in the same family. Treated the same way. All loved, validated and all cherished up to the eyeballs.

YES some problems are copied from parents' behavior. SOME. SOME ARE. BUT NOT ALL.

When you make generalizations, you make people angry and that appears to be where this thread is going. Certain people in the thread are getting insulted and angry. They feel they're being criticized and I don't blame them.

So why do kids misbehave and turn difficult and all that?

Do you really think a parent wakes up one morning, looks at their little newborn, and says, 'I think I want this one to be bad, I'll make him bad'.

Probably not very often.

So why does a kid go bad? "It depends".