When the shoe is on the other foot?

[Rhett&SarahsMom]

Yup me! LOL and if ya notice on my sig line I have ONE daughter!
Of course it is why I only have one child, but she is great.

I grew up never wanting kids. Didnt babysit. Watched my younger sister when she was older(grade school and hs) but we arent even close. The only kids i ever liked were my friends' son and daughter in NC. But that was because they were polite and sweet kids. Not the monsters I see so very frequently.
I still dont get the "warm fuzzies" when I see other peoples babies. No tug to have another when I see people with two or three or more. I dont ask to hold babies of friends. I dont go to baby showers(I send a gift)
Generally> I do not like kids. And I am ok with saying so. I think it has made me a better mom. My daughter is polite and independent. She is a kid to be sure. My house looks like a playroom. Not just one room! But I enjoy her more now that she is getting older. Granted. I also quit my job after I had her and have been a SAHM for the past nearly 6 years now. Yeah me, who didnt want to be a mom, suddenly couldnt even bear the thought of leaving her in daycare! I am going to be looking ofr a "mom's hours" job when she goes to KG in the fall. so I can put her on the bus and get her off when the school day is over.

I have an aunt that is married and childless. She had health reasons for not having kids. But I think it was more that she was a teacher in Boston in the 60's and just got burnt out taking care of other peoples "problem" kids. Kinda the same reason I stopped doing daycare. Well that plus I do not like kids!

There is nothing wrong with not wanting children. Nothing at all. I would have been more than fine with never being a mom. Our daughter was a BIG surprise BTW. I had just been told that getting and staying pregant would be hard, if not impossible without help. Then the same week I found out I was prg, I was diagnosed with severe Kidney stones. Then the fibroids and the morning sickness that landed me in the hospital more than once because i was SO dehydrated. I gained 15lbs of preg weight. My daughter was 7 of that!

All I can tell you is to be open with your dh and yourself.

 

[Chickerdoodle13]

Rosalind, You always have such a way with words!

Gypsy, you sound just like my one friend. She is 20 and dead set against having kids. She's into the same stuff as you, and has a similar job during the summer. I wonder if she will ever change her mind, but if she wants to keep doing what she is doing now, she probably never will. Now a days, that is perfectly normal!

I don't really have too much other advice for you, as I don't have kids... yet anyways. I've never had a problem watching kids or baby sitting, but I will go through some of the same fears as you, such as what to do about my career, quiet time, etc. I think that is a very natural thing. However, I do think that if you are having so many doubts, you should go with what your instincts are telling you.

 

[pdsavage]

Just because everyone else is getting married and having kids doesnt mean you have to.
i mean if your friends jumped off a cliff would you? hehehe
anyway what im trying to say is its your life live it like you want to.You dont have to have kids to be happy,heck you dont even have to me married to be happy.
Just tell people there are enough kids in the world and you chose not to have any.if they want kids thats thier chioce.

 

[SpottedCrow]

Some folks just aren't parent material...You might be one of them...I'd rather have you childless, than something like the woman on the news here this week...

She has given no reason, but had denied chemo to her 8 year old autistic son. He HAD a 50/50 chance, but now because she hasn't given him his needed meds, it's more than likely that he'll die by the end of the year.

I also only have one kid.

 

[BowChickaBowMow]

I haven't read all the posts yet, so not sure if anyone touched this side of the subject yet? But you are married, right? So you do need to take your husband's considerations also. If you don't want to go through the pregnancy there are other choices. You could find a surrogate and use your eggs and DH's sperm. (or donor eggs if you totally don't want anything to do with it) Or you could adopt. Or become foster parents. Your DH could be the main caregiver. He could either be a stay at home dad, or if he still had to work you could possibly find a relative or daycare until he was done working. You can still hunt and have a great successful hunting season. Marriage is about compromise. And if this is something your husband desperately wants, then you're robbing him of his dreams and he may grow to resent you. You have your entire lives to be together. In all couples, both do not always have the parental instincts. Though I promise you, if you ever change your mind and decide to get pregnant, the maternal instincts will come naturally and blow your mind away. That being said, some people just aren't meant to be parents, but it sounds like your husband is. BTW.. how long have you two been together? Don't feel pressured into making a life changing decisions, but do respect your husbands wants and needs and try to think of compromises? Maybe suggest him being a "Big Brother" (Big Brothers and Sisters organization) and that may help fulfill his desire. (or not?)

Best of luck!