.... i have had so many medical bills this yr that were unexpected and not small, that my girls will have to be happy with what "disneyworld" dad buys. he can buy ipods, ugg boots, etc but will not pay 1/2 their medical bills. which would make such a difference here. i have even sold my motorcycle, and will probably sell my old family china before the winter is out. but he just had a big wedding and a honeymoon to ireland. he is also been 'founded' by cps for hurting our oldest, yet they just elected him football commissioner for our local PAL league, everyone thinks he is so wonderful, so giving, supportive etc. if they only knew! child abusing domestic violence repeating sociopath ... does he understand priorities? today is the day i normally put my tree up and get excited about the family season. i will not be having a "normal" holiday this year, and maybe not for a while. on top of all the death we have had this year in the friends and family category, i cant seem to get any enthusiasm for a normal family gathering with my family. my brothers son, Dale (aged 3) passed away in march unexpectedly and i cannot stand the idea of facing holiday cheer with out him, and my brother in such pain. my brother has lived with me most of his life. they lived with us for over half of Dale's short life. then they bought a condo only 5 minutes from us. my girls were involved up close since he first moved in utero. this was the first birth they really understood, and babysat, fed, bathed and cared for him from day one. my oldest felt he could have been hers. they even did the supervised visitation with their dad at my brother's house. my oldest babysits their 7 yr old daughter 2x a week now. on top of this my youngest daughter's best friend of forever was killed in a car crash in july. alora's senseless death on top of dale's death was too much. we had only just begun to recover emotionally from our accident (also with fatalities). my youngest is no longer in regular school but in a supportive day school program since she cant seem to handle regular high school any more. my oldest is failing. since then i have had more deaths. a co-worker i was close with, a friend of 20 yrs, a great-uncle, my real estate lawyer murdered (dh grew up with him) , and a student. some came with warning but others did not. (my student population is a lot of court placed gang kids so.... it is always a possibility but never easy). so sorry for the rant. i do not feel comfortable dumping it on dh when he is so down about the real estate market and his own health issues. i have gotten every one in house in therapy but it is a slow process. thanks for "listening"... things have to get better. right?
thank you for your support. i guess i am a tad depressed today. i am going to go do hard yardwork and try to "snap out of it". or i will just sit here and feel sorry for myself! thanks for letting me vent!
Im sorry my troubles are not as bad as yours but we will have no money for christmas gifts.. I mean none.. like 15$ a kid thats it. Enough for a stocking gift. They too will get tons from their dad but no child support paid... he does pay a little but not enough to cover even the food they eat.. let alone clothes, personal hygene stuff, toys, and then fun stuff that kids like to do, like play sports and the such ... I feel for you because we dont have the other troubles added to this "boat" so I m sorry..
I think the holidays are going to be hard for everyone this year. The economy tanked and that brings all those feelings to the surface again. I just try to remember the Reason for the season...
That's an awful lot of grief and trouble to be dealing with, in such a short time. Maybe instead of thinking of this holiday season as a happy, cheerful time, you could think of it more as a time to be together and be there for each other. Even though some are missing, you can still give comfort, support and love to each other. It's a wonderful gift, to provide a safe place for a grieving heart, where they don't have to do "fake cheerful." For your children, are there some pleasant things you could do together during the holidays, that would make nice memories? Like decorating gingerbread men and cutouts. Or stringing cranberries and popcorn. Or making ornaments. Maybe you could invite their little cousin over to do some of these things, too. This might be a good year to start some new traditions, that don't carry any histories along with them. I hope that next year will be a better year for you and all of your family.
Quote:isnt it awful? i finally have the state collecting the little bit he pays, and i cant get it raised because he owns his business and has the business cover his income for the most part. then he pays late, sends in $7 one week, $87 the next, then nothing until state threatens him, then pays current... anything to keep me from counting on it. yet he always has money to be "disney dad". but i have friends that get nothing ever so.... i try not to complain too much... but it sucks! here we will have the kind of christmas that the kids will get necessities in stockings (from dollar store) and little gifts that my mom buys. it is very hard to keep my mind on the reason when i am simply trying to survive day to day. my pain is very distracting as is the pain my kids are in. theirs worries me more than my own. i'll survive but what about them........
Quote:i am going to make a list from those things and when the girls are home from "disney's", we will sit down and make a plan. thanks for the suggestions!
