It's very hard when your family is simply too absorbed in themselves to see how much hurt they're causing.
I often hear that we should forgive, respect and love them when they hurt us because "they're family". But I always wonder why that never seems to swing the other way??? Why is it always that we have to forgive and love people who actively know they hurt us, but never they who needs to still love and respect us?
Personally, I know severing toxic family can be hard... But frankly, I severed relations with my brother when I was 9. It cost me a lot of the rest of my family in the process over the years and a lot of abuse.... Not much you can do to protect yourself when you are nine. But all three of my nieces through him have repeated suicide attempt and lots of drug use. One has a teen pregnancy right now with someone who beats her. Yeah, I suffered for it, but frankly would I still be alive if I hadn't? I have loving relationships still, just not with most of my family. I still think it came out better in the long run.
I hope you can get out of that situation too some day. You may find a little space improves things. If you don't, you'll have enough space to set healthy boundaries.
I often hear that we should forgive, respect and love them when they hurt us because "they're family". But I always wonder why that never seems to swing the other way??? Why is it always that we have to forgive and love people who actively know they hurt us, but never they who needs to still love and respect us?
Personally, I know severing toxic family can be hard... But frankly, I severed relations with my brother when I was 9. It cost me a lot of the rest of my family in the process over the years and a lot of abuse.... Not much you can do to protect yourself when you are nine. But all three of my nieces through him have repeated suicide attempt and lots of drug use. One has a teen pregnancy right now with someone who beats her. Yeah, I suffered for it, but frankly would I still be alive if I hadn't? I have loving relationships still, just not with most of my family. I still think it came out better in the long run.
I hope you can get out of that situation too some day. You may find a little space improves things. If you don't, you'll have enough space to set healthy boundaries.
