Why do girls have to be so darn mean?

[Felicia]

Thanks everyone. I will be able to walk into school tomorrow feeling better about it all.

I am staying single till I am ready to get married - which is pretty much after college. No reason in dating if I am not mentally ready. Plus I want to be by myself for a while and see what its like to just be on my own two feet. Whats the point from going from being with my parents to being with husband - I want some freedom for at least a little while

No worries Debiraymond

I am saving that first kiss. It ain't going to just anybody. I want to save it till I know for sure I am going to marry him.

 

[debilorrah]

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I just LOVE to hear young girls say that!!!!

 

[DTchickens]

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Just throwing in a guys opinion, mostly mine as not all guys will share the same opinion as me. But i will say there's nothing wrong with being innocent, and just because you are doesn't mean you won't get or have a boyfriend as many people believe and fail at lately.

I see it like this - there are two types, respectful, innocent, women you could spend your life with and live perfectly happy. Or the women who have dated around and experienced everything before they have met you usually ending in a divorce if you even make it to marriage. I know many of the second "Category" that couldn't take being "tied down" after doing everything before and not really enjoying it in marriage. i usually aimed for the first "category". My girlfriend waited and had never even held hands with a guy before until we started dating and we are still very much in love and still going strong without much baggage from old relationships after years (about 5, which is a lot for someone our age).

Most of the girls who are in the second "category" have little respect for themselves, and will only find guys that are a waste of time in my opinion. I know when i always saw them i looked the other way

.

 

[Tala]

I was the one being made fun of back in high school. I didn't have a boyfriend till after I graduated. Weird-O I know.

Anyways, people still think I look or seem innocent.....before they get to know me.
I'm probably one of the baddest girls that I know (excluding drug use, I'm not at all interested in that)

Let 'em do what they do. Just make sure that YOU don't act that way. Some people never grow out of it, unfortunately. It's really a whole lot like your flock's pecking order. The top hens know they are tops so they don't bully much, and the lowest hens know they are the lowest, but those in-between ones just have to make heck on everybody to make themselves feel better about their place in life.

I don't get involved on anyone's behalf except family. I get into enough trouble just sticking up for myself!! (Spent 10+ months unemployed because of it) So I wouldn't recommend sticking up for the "pig girl" unless you were 110% sure that she would stick her neck out for you, but that's just my experience talking.

 

[Amyable]

Felicia, you've got a good head on your shoulders! You have a very healthy attitude toward life and relationships; those mean girls do not. Some people have their heyday in high school or college; you will have yours later in life and it will mean much more than being popular for 4 years.

Some kids grow out of it and get their heads on straight, some don't. Last year at my 10-yr HS reunion a girl in my class apologized for being mean back then. You will have nothing to apologize for - bravo!!

 

[Southernbelle]

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I'm 32 years old, married with 3 children and I still get teased for being too innocent because I don't curse, never been drunk, never smoked a cigarette, I go to church every week, etc, etc.

Embrace the way of life you've chosen, you're very smart to make the choices you have so far. Oftentimes young people (especially girls) are uncomfortable with the choices they've made and it makes them feel better if they feel like they're not alone in their chosen place, so they make you feel like you should be where they are. Try to recognize the pressure they're putting on you is not about you, it's about them, but they don't even realize it. You're a smart girl and I commend your choices.

 

[rodriguezpoultry]

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Just wanted to throw this out there, and by all means PLEASE do not feel pressure from me on this one.

I would honestly begin dating to figure out what you WANT in a future husband. Do you want someone who relies on you? Do you want to rely totally on someone? How can you tell what is healthy in a relationship and not healthy if you do not experience it first-hand? How will you know the warning signs, especially if others' experiences do not deal exactly with your situation.

Sorry...I'm just trying to justify dating as a means to narrow down what you would like in a mate.

 

[catfish/okie]

Once upon a time there was this cute girl. She was very cute but was not very nice. There was this one boy she really liked. And he was a real hunk, real athletic and very smart. One day she dropped her books in front of him. He picked them up and said. I would ask you out if you were more like Felicia!

 

[Eggs4Sale]

Catfish has a crystal ball!

Seriously, Felicia, you're on the right track. Your parents have done well, and you've done well.

We all know that insecure people need to belittle others as a way of making themselves look better. And I don't mean to say that they do look better. I mean to say that they do not want people noticing their faults (which everybody has), so they basically say "Don't look at me, look at HER!"

If I had ever had the guts, I would have responded to jerks in H.S. with a "Why do you feel so bad about yourself?" or "Does it make you feel batter about yourself?" Said in an almost concerned tone puts it back on them, and they have to answer or continue the vileness, which makes them look even worse.

One day, years from now, you will see them and they will look he##-beaten, trust me. Hostility ages you and those around you. They are destined to live out a pointless life, full of disappointment. And if they don't, you won't care anyways, because you will have enough goodness on your plate to keep you happily busy.

 

[wombat]

Here's a guy's perspective:

When I was in college, I was in a co-ed dorm for the first year, and there were some of those "mean girls" that thought they were all that and a bag of BBQ chips just out of high school. They quickly disappeared from the social scene at the college level; "young adults" just weren't up for their BS and none of the guys wanted to have anything to do with them. They spent most of their time hanging with each other in their sorry little pack, ripping on people like they had in hgh school ... the difference was that nobody else cared what they had to say anymore.

There was a little click of them that shared two suites of rooms ... we had a name for them all, but I can't repeat it here.

Be yourself, get through the high school BS, and go to college. Unless you go off to some party-school kiddie college, you'll find that it's a different world.

I graduated a year early from high school and escaped. My wife dropped out of high school and started college at 16. (no, we didn't know each other back then, lived half a country apart) ...