Why in the world am I so bad at flirting? (Tomboy thread!)

Discussion in 'Family Life - Stories, Pictures & Updates' started by Chickerdoodle13, Oct 13, 2009.

  1. Chickerdoodle13

    Chickerdoodle13 The truth is out there...

    Mar 5, 2007
    Phoenix, AZ
    So I've always been a bit of a tomboy and I guess that's a major reason that leads to my immense lack of flirting skills. I really am quite terrible! I've always been one to get down and dirty or to "play with the boys" and was sort of late in realizing that maybe I actually would like a boyfriend instead of just a guy friend! LOL, most of my friends liked guys wayyy before I did. So fast forward quite a few years and I'm still just as terrible as I was in highschool!

    I've actually found it quite funny. I'm GREAT at playing match maker. Heck, I can even give other guys and girls hints for flirting and getting dates, but when I try to do it myself I end up feeling like a fish out of water!

    Its sort of become a joke between my mom and I. I'm not actively looking for a guy like other girls do, but there are a few guys I'd love to flirt with just for fun. So tell me backyard chicken people...who else is as bad at flirting like me? Let me know I'm not the only one! [​IMG]
  2. Eggs4Sale

    Eggs4Sale Songster

    Jun 29, 2009
    I was really bad at flirting. Avoiding eye contact and running away, that sort of thing. A shy smile may be the only thing you need, though. It could be the encouragement another shy soul needs to approach you. Being able to flirt is not seen as a 'good' quality, in my opinion. What does your mom think?
  3. Chickerdoodle13

    Chickerdoodle13 The truth is out there...

    Mar 5, 2007
    Phoenix, AZ
    Oh, I'm GREAT at talking to people. In fact, I'll talk with someone all day and I'm great at asking them questions about themselves and not just talking about myself. I'm not really shy at all, I guess I'm just a bit more rough in my mannerisms. I act a lot like my dad...and he's a real rough tough sort of guy.

    I feel out of place sometimes during family functions because everyone else has a boy/girl friend. I know my mom probably wonders when in the world I'll find someone, but she doesn't ever rush it. She always asks me if I'm nervous around guys that I like and my answer is that its not very often that I'm nervous around anyone. I think her and I were very different growing up. She was definitely more of a girly girl and I'm definitely a tomboy. Growing up I had a ton of guyfriends but I guess I act more like "one of the guys" rather than someone they could date.

    My mom and I are very close and I share a lot with her, so I usually tell her about the guys I like. Its nice when I have someone so close to talk about stuff like that when I see her.
  4. Iowa Roo Mom

    Iowa Roo Mom Resistance Is Futile

    Apr 30, 2009
    Keokuk County
    I'm terrible at it, always have been. Let's just say I've been out of high school for a while now, and with no serious prospects, I'm starting to be called an "old maid" by my entire family. [​IMG]

    If I knew how to flirt successfuly, I would give you some pointers. Sorry I'm no help!
  5. Eggs4Sale

    Eggs4Sale Songster

    Jun 29, 2009
    Do you like a guy right now?

    And do you think there are any guys who might like you?
  6. Chickerdoodle13

    Chickerdoodle13 The truth is out there...

    Mar 5, 2007
    Phoenix, AZ

    There is a guy in my photography class that I'm really starting to like. We always seem to end up goign to photo lab hours at the same time, so I've spent about 12 hours there with him during the past two days. We also ended up in the same group when we went in the darkroom. I've spoken with him a bit and we have similar interests and I find him very attractive. No mention of a girlfriend as of yet...

    Problem is that I never know whether a guy likes me or not. I've been hurt several times before when I was wrong. Luckily a little heart ache never hurt me, just made me realize I'm ok being single until I find someone I would be happy with. The thing is, I'm sort of beginning to like this guy and I don't know where to go from there. I took some time to work on myself for awhile and I'm happy where I'm at, even though I could still stand to lose more weight. For awhile there I just wasn't happy and knew I could not find someone if I was not happy with myself. A few attitude adjustments later and I feel pretty good...but I still am hesitant to find out whether a guy I like shares the same feelings I do, just because of what I've experienced in the past.

    So yeah, I figured I'd post and find if there was anyone else int he same spot as me!
  7. redhen

    redhen Kiss My Grits...

    May 19, 2008
    Western MA
    I'm not a good flirter either..its always just kinda happend for me.
    Chickerdoodle, i've seen your photos, youre a pretty lady. Dont worry, it WILL happen..when its supposed to happen. [​IMG]
  8. Germaine_11.20

    Germaine_11.20 Songster

    Jun 6, 2009
    The best way to attract someone is with an honest smile and a hello.
    No flirting is needed. If he is interested he will eventually let you know.
    Find some common ground and have some good conversation. Photography, sports, movies ect...
    He is just a person. And if he is not interested I can tell you there are thousands more out there who will be if you give them a chance.
  9. Felicia

    Felicia Songster

    Feb 26, 2009
    Girl, I am so on the same boat as you. I am already getting teased and getting told I will be all alone for the rest of my life with a million animals [​IMG] . So I guess its not truly alone, but its not the same. I can't flirt to save my life, and I stopped trying. I figure if a guy is going to like me, he is going to have to like me just for me - not cause of my flirting. And I also decided to stop caring about not having a boyfriend. I am just going to stay single till I am ready to get married, and wait patiently for my Prince Charming to come. I know its hard, but I truly believe it will be well worth it in the end. Sometimes, I feel like I just must not be pretty enough, or be skinny enough, or its cause I can't flirt - but I just realized I need to be happy with myself.

    Your prince charming will show up eventually [​IMG]
  10. deb1

    deb1 Songster

    Jun 26, 2008
    My grandmother(actually a step grandmother) told me that this is how she used to flirt.

    She would walk toward the guy, make eye contact, drop her eyes, walk a few more steps, make eye contact, drop her eyes and continue doing so until she passed him and then she would give him a big smile and keep walking. She said that it always worked. [​IMG]

    I know that if someone touches your arm a lot that is considered flirting. So, is playing with your hair and being very complimentary. Again, I don't know if these actions work but it is what I have heard is considered flirtatious.

    By the way, I play with my hair all the time and I am not flirting.

    I did not have my first date until I was 18 years old. Then I dated quite a bit.
    Last edited: Oct 13, 2009

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