WHy is it good to NOT CARE what others think?

[Davaroo]

Madonna turns 50 today. Not such big news to me, but the media is loving it, singing her praises and lauding her for being a true rebel.

"BFD," I say. What's so great about that? Rebellion is an invasive, often destructive force.

One reporter slobbishly gushed admiration for her, for always doing her own thing, not caring what others think.

SO it prompted me to wonder - "Why is that a good thing?"

You hear it all the time.
"I'm doing my own thing. I do what I want to do, baby, and to heck with you. I don't give a rats' hairy behind what anyone else thinks of it!!"

Does anyone but me see that as selfish and disrespectful - at best? In essence, it's the equivalent of flipping the bird to the rest of us, the fellow citizens of the world at large.

Why are THOSE things admirable behaviors?

What do you think. Let's hear from you...
I'm taking your calls, at 1-800-GET-REAL

 

[Break an Egg]

Most people who have that attitude end up in prison. lol ETA: Not your attitude, but Madonna's lol

 

[ozark hen]

woo hoo Dave, you are going to ruin your reputation if you continue to let those good thoughts come out.

I hear you buddy, I hear you!!

 

[Wolf-Kim]

I have often wondered the same thing Dave. Recently on a job application, one question was "Do you care of people think?" and I had to laugh and ask myself "is that a trick questions?" Because I care what my employers think and I would care about how the customers would see me, but if I knew I was doing something right or another employee didn't take a liking to me, I wouldn't sweat it.

It is hard to be seen as well-balanced. If you do not care what people think of you, you are considered a confident, strong, leader, but also selfish and rude. On the other hand, if you care what other people think, you are polite, meek, but nothing more than a sheep who follows the crowd for fear of being different.

-Kim

 

[DuckLady]

As long as I have confidence in myself that I am doing the moral ethical thing, then no I don't care if someone sees me in a negative way. But if I know I am being rude, then I care about making it right.

There is a way to be self confident without alienating the rest of the world (the world being MY world) and I work to find it and hope to find the balance.

 

[PurpleChicken]

Madonna turned 50??? Oh no!!! In her case she just used rebellion and
sex to become an icon.

Rebellion in a good form, aka Boston Tea Party, is a good thing.
Rebellion in a bad form, aka Madonna, is a bad thing.

Did anyone know that Madonna is really David Letterman's illegitamate daughter?
Just look at the gap between their teeth.



Yup BFD!!!

 

[The Chicken Lady]

It depends on the reason for "not caring."

It can be good not to care what others think if what you're doing is of real benefit to you. When I was in elementary school, I was a really, really nerdy kid. During reading time, while other girls would sit and read Sweet Valley Twins, I read the encyclopedia. Needless to say, I wasn't extremely popular.

Sure it hurt, but I didn't care because I knew I loved to learn and wanted to keep learning about anything and everything. As I result of my curiosity and desire to learn, I got amazing grades in high school, was a National Merit Semi-Finalist and went to college almost for free. I was in the honors program in college. Now I have a great job, the job I dreamed of having when I was younger. "Not caring" and being my own person despite the judgment of others helped me to reach my goals and make my life more stress-free.

Unfortunately, there's another side to "not caring."

"Not caring" can be an excuse to have a selfish attitude, as in "I'll talk loudly on my cell phone in the middle of the restaurant, and not care if I'm bothering others. They can just deal."

"I'll wear these scraggly jeans to my grandma's funeral. I hate wearing a tie. It's too uncomfortable. I don't care what others think; I dress my own way."

"Not caring" is also a great cover-up to explain why one isn't successful at something.

"I failed math this semester. Ha ha! I don't care about that class at all; math sucks and it's boring!"

The problem with this kind of "not caring" is that it doesn't help the person who "doesn't care" to get anywhere in life. If you try to explain such things to them, they "won't care" what you have to say. I'm pretty sure they DO care, but admitting they care would be a sign of weakness in their mind.

There was someone in the BYC chat who caused problems the other day and told a mod, "I don't care; I'll do what I want!" That's the kind of not caring that hurts others, and ultimately, hurts the person who doesn't care. They'll lose friends, opportunities and the respect of other people if they continue that way in life.

 

[Marlinchaser]

Quote:
Oh no, I had always heard I was going to He@@, because of my attitude, now I am gonna go to jail too.

 

[Reinbeau]

Quote:
That is so not true. I'm not talking about Madonna, but I am talking about not giving a fig what others think. I don't. I do what I know is right, what I need to do, I walk my own path, and I really don't care what others think about it. That's what the phrase means to me. No, I'm not raising my middle finger up to you or anyone, but if you think I should paint my house a different color than I choose, that's a big fat hairy problem for you, not me, because I don't care. I rode a motorcycle (and wasn't a biker sl*t or anything like that), had two kids, and I know people around here looked down their lofty noses at me. Tough tookies for them. I had more fun

I raise chickens, honeybees, and I love to dig in the dirt. I can't tell you how many of my clients think I'm absolutely crazy for digging in the dirt (nevermind the other two!!). I don't care. I read a few more posts - and I left out the fact that I live what I consider a moral and ethical life, as the others said. It's my life and I'll do with it what I want - and I'll never end up in prison because of that attitude.


By the way, Madonna is my fifth cousin. Not bragging, I just found that out. She was born in Michigan, not Queens, up in Bay City. I'm originally from Detroit. Two brothers came here from France way back in the early 1800's. One stayed in northern Michigan, the other went up to Alberta, Canada. She and I are descended from the Michigoose

 

[Davaroo]

It is also viewed as 'freedom' to do what you want. For many, freedom means the option of doing whatever you please and darn the consequences. Im not referring to individual choice here... Im talking about flipping off the rest of the world with our choices and daring them to do anything about it.

As I watched Ms M., I also realized that she did nothing by herself. SO a badass street beeyatch from Queens comes along and has an attitude. Again, BFD. What's the news? There's plenty of those.

Without a lot of people working behind her, a hot tushy and a fair amount of luck and persistence, well... there but for the Grace of God go I.

So why do we the society value this, "eff the world" attitude so much? Why do we nurture it like a suckling child hoping it will grow in us. Is it because, as I suspect, we at large have had it too good for too long - spoiled, in other words? If we act bad long enough, then we'll get our way?