will I survive raising my 16 year old daughter...

[dipence71]

Quote:
That is a great way to go but, in my case someone else is always there to pick them up(her dad aunt ect)

 

[dipence71]

Quote:
YAH that is a great idea!!!
Is that legal????

 

[chixie]

Quote:
thank you... I have thought about the mortuary... I also get her to watch things likse nancy grace and also lifetime movies about things like this(when I can get her to watch with me) we have a crimes victims assistance program in the county i live in... I was going to try to get ahold of them to see inf they can talk to her or have leaflets on things like this... I also thought about talking to our justice of the piece( my husband knows him) and see if he has any ideas... she should know that it can happen to her... One of her friends mother was raped in broad daylight in her own home by a stranger... but sh edoesn't believe it can happen to her

 

[chixie]

Quote:
One thing she does and she has been punished for is she says she is spending the night at one place and ends up at other peoples houses.. for example she stayed with my cousins daughter who is her age for a couple of days talked to her yesterday she was still there... my cousins daughter called looking for my daughter said she left with a guy to come home... she stayed at another girls house and wouldnot answer her phone for anyone... I spent 2 hours trying to find her... my hubby found her ... this is not the first time she has done it ... so now I have to treat her like a baby because I cannot trust her...

 

[chixie]

Quote:
thank you... I will show that to her

 

[Crystalchic]

there are so many mistakes that parents should never allow their kids to make

 

[redhen]

Quote:
One thing she does and she has been punished for is she says she is spending the night at one place and ends up at other peoples houses.. for example she stayed with my cousins daughter who is her age for a couple of days talked to her yesterday she was still there... my cousins daughter called looking for my daughter said she left with a guy to come home... she stayed at another girls house and wouldnot answer her phone for anyone... I spent 2 hours trying to find her... my hubby found her ... this is not the first time she has done it ... so now I have to treat her like a baby because I cannot trust her...

Then just keep treating her like a baby

.. and when she complains..explain to her (again..) WHY she cant stay overnight at peoples houses anymore. That SHE in fact did thhis to herself by being a sneak..not you. I work with high risk teens..and one thing they tell us to do to keep close track on them is..when they say they are going somewhere..they HAVE to call when they get there. (or they DO NOT go out again!)..if they have to leave that place.they HAVE to call to let you know. And of course..you HAVE to do drive bys and actually check that they are really there. Also, i dont accept cell phone calls from them..only land lines, because they can be anywhere and tell you they are still at their friends house. Also..i dont let them go to anyones house if a parent isnt home and i dont speak with the parent myself. YUP..i'm tough..but i have to be. And it sounds like your daughter needs to see how strict things can REALLY get if she wants to keep being sneaky. Also, If shes not doing her homework..she dosent go places, use the phone, computer..period. I have a daily report sheet from the school for some of my kids..so i know daily if they turned in their homework and if they have any for that night, if they got in trouble in class, i know if they took a test that day and if they passed it..etc.. OOh, yeah..you CAN make her life a bit tougher.

Sometimes doing these things for a while will make them realize you REALLY mean business and then they start to do what they need to do on their own eventually and then you can let up a bit and tell them they can start to EARN your trust again (but still keep doing drive bys (etc..) on the sly...heehe..just to make sure! )... Good luck!

 

[Crystalchic]

High 5 to red hen

 

[kezabel]

the pocket money she wants is $20 a week, thats on top of the money I pay for her dancing and her other sports.
She tells me I'm not 12 anymore Mum, I can do what I want. I tell her that she can't. In some ways I quess I am lucky she isn't interested in boys yet, its just her school work and expectations for money. She thinks I can just get her anything she wants. The latest thing is a new ipod, she already has one but it has scratches all over it from her not looking after it properly, when it was bought for her birthday she also got 3 different covers for it but she would always take them off so now it is scratched. I told her there is no way she is getting another one because she can't look after the one she's got.

 

[ArizonaNessa]

Quote:
My son is much much younger but I just went through a similar thing about scratched up video games. Yes my son is seven BUT it is the same thing. Those video games cost ALOT of money and frankly I do not have ALOT of money. So I gathered them all up and told him why I was taking them away. Yes he threw a fit but I gave him some chores to earn them back and to replace the ones that were totally ruined. He just loved

having to go out and help Mommy shovel chicken crap and having to feed and water everything everyday. Oh and let us not forget the cleaning up after his own chihuahua when it had an accident and taking out the garbage. Maybe I sound like some kind of slave driver but it did not take long before he learned to take care of his things and the importance of a dollar and how hard it is to earn said dollar. On top of that, it helped him learn to count and add up money.

I realize that your daughter is much older and can probably count money better than most of us but that was not my point. Maybe some good old fashion work wouldn't hurt her one bit. I would probably go in her room while she was out and collect all the things that I PAID FOR!!!! Then let her earn them back. Sometimes the fight is worth it. Even if you are quite wealthy it is still good to remember that it can all be taken away from us in the twinkling of an eye.

Oh and another thought if you were up for it. What about one of those good ol' roughin' it camping trips? I don't mean those ones where you packed twinkies and nice clean clothes for each day. I mean true camping where you have almost nothing and have to really work to get what you need for the day.

A week of that and she will be ever so grateful for even simple things like toilet paper!!!!!!