Will it ever be easier?

[Roxannemc]

I have to agree with the other person TOTALLY...the children will follow your lead in emotions so you have to take the lead in how to act.
If you get so very upset over a 3 day trip the kids will also and it DOES put guilt on a child when he is trying to go to a scout camp and have fun with friends and the family acts like he is leaving for 10 years..
Not to be critical but sometimes in life with our kids as the parent if you want your kids to grow up mentally normal you have to just buck up and think of HIM and HIS good time and allow them to enjoy being away .His Dads there after all anyway but at 11 he could be away alone with scouts or friends on a organized trip and it would be a totally normal thing and not proof of bad parenti ng..
If he is to go to college or gets a job he wil have to break free eventually anyway and this is part of growing up for EVERY parent and child or he will be 50 and living at home off of you....AND unhappy.
I KNOW b/c my Mom was like you, didnt cry but warned my brother (way younger than the rest of us girls ) every time he wanted to walk out the door asa child to go play of the dangers of the world...and now my brother is 46 and STILL lives at home with Mom and DAD taking care of him.Doesnt work afraid to go out, Scared of the big world outside.. and sees a psychiatrist has for years. all because she wouldnt let him enjoy the normal desire every child has to fly from the nest for a bit.
.Even Birds push the baby bird out of the nest and sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and " act" happy to show the children its a normal thing to want to go be with friends and away even if you are lonely for them yourself. .
Frankly it is the right thing for all of you to enjoy time apart. once in a while.
.Instead of dwelling on the negative...See how life is when its a little different than a normal every day weekend.YES make it a SPECIAL weekend for all the OTHER kids instead of crying like its the end of the world... and .do some special things you normally dont do with them and have FUN and let them have fun too.
.

 

[hispoptart]

I have to agree with the other person TOTALLY...the children will follow your lead in emotions so you have to take the lead in how to act.
If you get so very upset over a 3 day trip the kids will also and it DOES put guilt on a child when he is trying to go to a scout camp and have fun with friends and the family acts like he is leaving for 10 years..
Not to be critical but sometimes in life with our kids as the parent if you want your kids to grow up mentally normal you have to just buck up and think of HIM and HIS good time and allow them to enjoy being away .His Dads there after all anyway but at 11 he could be away alone with scouts or friends on a organized trip and it would be a totally normal thing and not proof of bad parenti ng..
If he is to go to college or gets a job he wil have to break free eventually anyway and this is part of growing up for EVERY parent and child or he will be 50 and living at home off of you....AND unhappy.
I KNOW b/c my Mom was like you, didnt cry but warned my brother (way younger than the rest of us girls ) every time he wanted to walk out the door asa child to go play of the dangers of the world...and now my brother is 46 and STILL lives at home with Mom and DAD taking care of him.Doesnt work afraid to go out, Scared of the big world outside.. and sees a psychiatrist has for years. all because she wouldnt let him enjoy the normal desire every child has to fly from the nest for a bit.
.Even Birds push the baby bird out of the nest and sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and " act" happy to show the children its a normal thing to want to go be with friends and away even if you are lonely for them yourself. .
Frankly it is the right thing for all of you to enjoy time apart. once in a while.
.Instead of dwelling on the negative...See how life is when its a little different than a normal every day weekend.YES make it a SPECIAL weekend for all the OTHER kids instead of crying like its the end of the world... and .do some special things you normally dont do with them and have FUN and let them have fun too.
.

I couldn't agree more. It just amazes me how manof DD's friends 10 yrs of age get home sick when trying to spend the night with her. I mean REALLY! my DD was spending the night at friends by the time she was 6 and never once needed mommy to come get her. I have one friend who had to walk her DD into the classroom at school until she was in 5th grade. I am sorry this hard on you, but please don't make it hard on your son. He loves you but needs to grow and learn about life. They can't learn if they don't spread their wings and try new things.

 

[HeatherLynn]

I am fine with the my son being gone for the weekend. He is actually pushed. I will worry but I do try to put a lid on that because he is naturally a bit timid to try new things. Only one out of my 4 to be that way but its who he is.

I do not like to be away from my husband though. In 13 years we have been away from each other a grand total of 17 days. Yes I am keeping track. He goes to work. i go to school and a million other activities but at the end of the day I am just used to being with him. Life just is not full when he is not there. It doesn't matter how busy I am, thats how it is. It stinks. Me and the other kids ended up playing with the 8 chickies. Went out on an ice cream date. Did a bit of sewing with my daughter. We had a huge yard sale all along the HWY we live on so we did that for a few hours. We did a couple movies and a special dinner. Made some cookies and such. None of that replaces him being home.

He is home now though. Thankfully the next campout my son goes on his own. His very first but he thinks he is ready. Just glad I don't have to send his daddy along for an entire week.

 

[sourland]

HeatherLynn, I understand everything. It is how the Princess and I love, and I would not have it any other way. We live fuill and complete lives away from each other, but life is always better/more fun when we are together. Our kids grew up and turned out to be strong independent individuals 'in spite' of the fact that they were surrounded by such love. You and your husand are among the truly lucky.

 

[primalchick]

*hugs* I don't have children yet, but I do understand when it comes to your husband. My husband works away from home and is gone 75% of the time. It's so hard. We are working hard to save money and set ourselves up to be mortgage free, or very low mortgage, so that we can afford for him to have a normal, 40 hr/week type of job and be home every night, before we have kids. We miss eachother so much, it's hard! Luckily he is only 2 hours from home now, so I can go up and see him every weekend. Last year he was 9 hours from home so that didn't happen. I only saw him 2 days/month for all of last fall, winter and early spring. We are both MUCH happier when he's home so we are working hard to make it happen for us!

Hope you have a nice reunion with your family!

 

[debilorrah]

I just sent the hubby and my 11 year old off to camp with scouts for the weekend. Every time its torture. The 11 year old is upset he won't see me. I cry cause I miss them both. All the other kids are miserable. I am sitting here trying not to call the hubby the first half hour he is gone. Miserable

I am giggling right now. Yes, a day does come when it is easier. A day will come when they all come over for game night on Sunday evenings and you are so happy to see them, and then just as happy to see them go home; young adults, new parents, successful, learning, growing young people. Yep it happens.

However, you will never stop having nightmares about someone killing them. Just sayin.