Work rant not sure what to do? (long) updated had meeting

[WriterofWords]

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I have my thoughts, but I've been trying to keep from saying anything because I get lambasted when I do.

 

[EweSheep]

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I have my thoughts, but I've been trying to keep from saying anything because I get lambasted when I do.

Make our day! Go for it!

 

[Camelot Farms]

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I have my thoughts, but I've been trying to keep from saying anything because I get lambasted when I do.

I'm sorry Kate! I just always appreciate that you have experience as both a parent and a teacher and do a great job offering a 'whole picture' solution.

 

[jojo@rolling acres farm]

Look, I have to agree with horsejody...9 or 11 BIG DEAL! I'd still push for a new teacher. When my son, who is now 17 and an honors student. Was KINDERGARTEN - we went through hell. This kid who did great in preschool and couldn't wait to go to school was totally intimidated by his teacher. I knew I would have to pull him from her class the morning I had to pull HIM out from under his bed. SHE WAS ALFUL!!!She dressed him down in front of the class almost daily. It was terrible for him.She was really fancy, wore really expensive jewelry and clothing to school and preferred girls...and made the fact known. We did not know about the girl preference thing until after I pulled him out, and was told by another parent about past experiences with this same teacher. We put him into a whole new learning environment...at another preschool - I gave him an extra year to build his confidence back up.

One day she made fun of him because he made a teddy bear yellow instead of brown. Brown was the theme of the day. That was his last day in her class.

I'm glad you found some support...I have to tell you - I don't think it's over. And, it breaks my heart to tell you that. I will hold good thoughts for you...keep us posted. Hope your little guy does well.

 

[EweSheep]

I agree with Horsejody.....don't us as parents, as taxpayers, have a little say about how our kids would be affected????

I remember my parents fought the school and the adminstration office why I should not go to a school which there were 10 boys and I'm the only girl there for the hearing impaired class. I had to subject alot of male ego and my teacher was very sorry but she couldn ot watch me all the time nor I could hide behind her when the boys get a little rowdy. She was a good teacher but bad in trying to "settle" the boys down when they are not in class or on the bus. I had my breasts pinched (I was very young and started to developed and tyring to hide them was futile), cat calls, butt grabbed or crotch grabbed and the bus driver did nothing until I cried and screamed at the boys, latching out at them and got into trouble. So I sat in the front of the bus for a month while the boys were snickering and name calling. From then on, I never wore a dress until I started reenacting but still have to have some kind of pants like pantaloons or sweats under my pants regardless of how hot it got. My hubby was very upset with me, getting heat exhaustion and told me I need to wear nothing but underwear under those heavy dresses and DRINK alot of water and to hell with being too modest about my legs. Sorry I just got the hang up about showing my legs or being goosed by a boy or man and I do not like it.

So, after a year with this horrible school, I finally got to go with the school with boys AND girls and it was the happiest time of my life in school that I felt belonged. No one grabbed me or "investigate" me and I could hold my own if the boys get out of line which they never did. I made it known and they respected me and my "belongings" or Ms Reeder would unleash her wrath on the boys LOL! Instead she would say, make jokes that would not hurt anyone and we did use that and anything uncomfortable about our shortcomings in being deaf or handicap, we just joke about it.

I hope your son will leave that teacher and go into another classroom if the new teacher can take on one more kid or swap kids if they can do that unless the parent says no. No, I agree with JoJo, it is NOT over yet until the lady sings.

 

[2 Beauts]

Something else to consider, if the teacher continues, is she is creating a hostile work environment. Let something like that get back to the principle or school board. The others are right, I would push for him to be moved no matter what.

 

[WriterofWords]

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I have my thoughts, but I've been trying to keep from saying anything because I get lambasted when I do.

I'm sorry Kate! I just always appreciate that you have experience as both a parent and a teacher and do a great job offering a 'whole picture' solution.

Thank, I appreciate that. Ok,, here are my thoughts, keeping in mind I, like you, only know one side of the story:

Every year I have my staff members kids in my class because they request me, I don't treat their children like staff members kids, I treat them like everyone else.
Your child's teacher should never approach you at work concerning discipline issues in the classroom, period. She could see you in the cafeteria and say "Hey, I need to talk to you after school, can we set up a meeting?" or "Can you stay after you get off and see me about.....". But as for approaching you while you are doing your job, in front of your co workers, is ethically wrong. Out of our 6 ladies in the cafeteria, 5 of them have children in our school, and one thing that really bothers me is the fact that they get treated differently from teacher's kids, or office staff's kids. It sounds like your teacher has a case of "I'm a degreed professional and you are a lunch lady, so I'm right" syndrome. That really irks me. She also seems to think that your principal will side with her. I get this idea because of her turning on the water-works and crying,, that is extremely unprofessional.
I would have suggested scheduling a meeting with the principal and asking her to speak with the teacher, let her know that you are not available during work hours unless your child has been injured and it is an emergency. You've done that from the sounds of it. Also you could ask for a mediated meeting you and the teacher, and lay it on the table in a professional manner: "I've been approached by Mrs. Meanie during my work hours concerning my child in her class. I would like her to stop doing this as she is endangering my job and subjecting me to a hostile work environment. I am willing to meet with her after my work hours as a parent not a co worker."

She has no right to tell your child not to tell you of anything going on in class, that is your right to know as a parent and suggests to me she is saying things she shouldn't to your child or about your child to other students. One way to find out is approach a parent you know that has a child in that class and ask them if their child has mentioned anything about the teacher saying things about your child. If you find out that this is the case ask the other parent if they and their child would be willing to meet with school administration about it and use it as a means of removing your child from that classroom. I'll tell you right now though, this close to the end of the school year it takes an act of God to move a student, unless you can prove your child is not in a safe and comfortable learning environment due to the actions of the teacher.

As for the birthday announcements, there is no reason not hand them out just to friends. I would be shocked if most of my students invited some of their classmates to their party, they practically kill each other on the playground! She can't enforce that, your child has a right to invite who they want to their party.

Should the teacher be fired or hanged from the flagpole? No. They need to have a meeting concerning their behavior and reason for it with the principle, without the parent present. Teacher discipline is not open to the public or to the parents of the children in their class.

 

[Cuban Longtails]

On the invitations...

When my daughter was in Elementary school, they would not allow her to pass out invitations to only certain students during class. The reason was because it might make the other children feel left out and therefore damage their self-esteem. Which, I don't agree with (she was picked on by 99% of them, who's damaging who?) but it was apparently some type of policy or unspoken rule.

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

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Ten is not a lot--it is actually a very small size for an elementary class; many schools have classes with 30 kids.

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

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I hope so I will have to watch my son's behavior really close to see any changes in it, I don't want my son picked on by a teacher.

You need to talk to him and make sure he agrees to tell you if anything goes on in class. You probably want to filter the specifics, but it is okay to let him know that you and his teacher do not see exactly eye-to-eye, and that if he feels in any way slighted, that he needs to tell you about it, and if she EVER tells him that he is not to tell you something, that he needs to agree with her, but immediately upon getting home tell you exactly what happened. Make sure he understands that a coersed committment (not telling you) is not binding.