Would You Be Upset?

[NYboy]

My friend's mother who I will call Sue, belongs to a church in a very poor parish. There are large number of homeless and unemployed in the neighborhood. Sue called me and said her church was having a coat drive. I told her I would go though my closets. I decided any coat that no longer fit was being donated. I ended up with 6 coats, some where very expensive designer label. I dropped the coats at Sue's house and felt really good about it.
A few days later I ran into Sue's boyfriend, he was wearing a Ralph Lauren coat I donated. I knew it was my coat because the top button was chewed. I was surprised then angry and called Sue about it. She told me the coat was too good for someone homeless and traded it for her boyfriends winter coat. I donated 6 coats, 6 people got coats, so she didn't think anything is wrong. I know when you make a donation you have no control over how it is used. Would you be upset?

 

[Nicola]

Frankly yes i would be pretty mad, as you donated those jackets for people who are HOMELESS, not for her to trade with her bf. For all she knows those designer jackets could of made a persons day owning something so nice.

 

[Stephanie739]

No I wouldn't be upset, but she should have asked you first.

 

[dfr1973]

Quote:
I would be furious. "Too good" for someone homeless?? Just who does she think she is to make that determination?

(I'll stop here before I get myself into trouble ...)

 

[EKC Farms in the desert]

I would be very upset if that happened to me. We donate very often to the big bins- just chuck the clothes in there and hope they get used properly. One evening we saw that a man was arrested for taking the items from bin and selling them instead of taking them back to the place he volunteered at. Some people are just rude!

 

[annie3001]

I would be kinda upset too. We have a coat drive at my work. I have seen other people going thru the coats.. not nice.. they are supposed to be giving these to people with less. unbelievable. I would to have said something to that person. Thats not nice. just imo

 

[Stephanie739]

Quote:
I would be furious. "Too good" for someone homeless?? Just who does she think she is to make that determination?

(I'll stop here before I get myself into trouble ...)

Yes that comment is rude. I agree.

Would you have allowed her to do what she did if she asked you?

 

[Sir Birdaholic]

Yes, I would be fuming!

Donate THEM to the homeless!

 

[mhwc56]

ummm..YAH !!
i get soooooo tired of the way some people feel about others that are needy.
I work with food banks and people will donate REALLY OLD ,expired food to be given out all the time ..which of course we have to throw away
Another example is,we have friends who were missionaries to Haiti. They'd get shipments of cloths sent to them from donation drives and half the stuff would be torn or stained or otherwise useless for anything but the rag bag.
Like needy people only deserve garbage b/c they're lesser class or something...

as far as i'm concerned ,what they did was STEAL.

 

[frostbite]

I wouldn't be upset, it would be a waste of my emotional energy. But in the future, I might trust her to be herself, and donate directly to a charity rather than donating through her.

In a way, she's right, 6 coats got donated. Does a homeless person feel better in a Ralph Lauren coat than another coat? Will a designer label help them get a job if they can't get a shower? Is it the most comfortable coat to sleep in if you live in a box under a bridge? And homeless people got helped, and you aren't missing anything out of your house that you hadn't intended to offload, right? I work with homeless people, and I can tell you that designer coats don't look like designer coats for long.

If it pleases you to give these gifts to go to charity, give them directly to charity, now that you know your friend will do a bit of cherry picking.

In the meantime, enjoy peace. It's a lot more comfy than anger.