Would You Be Upset?

[Oregon Blues]

I think she behaved badly. However, at many charities, it's standard operating procedure that volunteers get first pick of donated items. The volunteers don't get paid, so they get food or coats or whatever as a thank you. It's just how things are done.

It is not worth it for you to ruin your day over her bad behavior. You are all upset,which is bad for your health, and it accomplishes nothing.

I've got a really long memory and I would never give her any donated items again. Next time she asked, I would tell her "No, because you collected items for the homeless and gave them to your own friends last time." Then stick to it.

 

[Dar]

it would me cheesed off! you betcha!

this is another reason why I will not donate to charities anymore PERIOD!... let me tell you a bit about how some charities are run.. and the crap I have discovered about them...

this is SOME not ALL please remember that and i am not painting all with the same brush..

Children's services..... my former neighbor works at children's service in northern Ontario ... she will routinely go through the donated toys bin and see what she "needs" for her girls,, her husband is very well paid and so is she... they own 2 vehicles that are less then 5 years old.. and own their own home... they eat out at least 2X a week.... she does not "need" ... its theft and it has been reported with no results

local food bank... the volunteers take what they want and leave what they dont for the people who NEED the help.. my son volunteered there this past summer and was telling me some not so nice things... the above mentioned person the childrens worker... her address says one town.. her hubbys says another (his mom address) so each month they go to 2 food banks and her hampers.... when i questioned her on this her response was "why pay for it when they will give it to crack heads for free"

provincial breast cancer fundraiser.. every year they do a walk.... a few years ago they (investigators) found funny things with the books and investigated just to find out more then half of the raised money was going into the pockets of the chair ppl.... and marked as "admin fees" ... they changed their name after that to distance themselves from the controversial actions of the past admin.


these are just naming a few.... and its for these reasons when i choose to donate I will take it right to the source....

I take my money into the hospital cancer wing and donate there..

I take extra clothes to the people I SEE need them... I just donated a wool winter coat to a girl at one of the schools I work at.. she never has more then a sweater on... i went to the guidance dept and told them i had a coat if they could give it to her if she needed it and they were delighted.. she is a larger girl and its hard to fine +size clothing in the donation bin..

i have 2 families that I give my eggs to when I have extra... I found them through my daughters school and because we both wanted to have our ID protected I drop the eggs off at school and the office staff will call the family.... the other week my daughters class was helping the kindergarten class with christmas baking. Everyone was given 1 ingredient of tool they needed to bring in... the girl who was asked to bring in eggs brought in a blue egg and my daughters eyes lit up because she thought the little girl had chickens too... but the teacher jumped in (knowing what was going on) and explained that maybe she bought the eggs from another person with blue eggs.


I am not knocking all charities... but I have had enough of the miss use of funds and items.

 

[KristyHall]

I would be upset indeed! That general attitude irritates me to no end. Or family was homeless at one time. I guess decent clothes are just too good for the likes of us. Never mind we were homeless because our mother fled a wealthy and abusive man who had the money to make things hard on us and we had to move from shelter to shelter to keep from being killed.

Even the general attitude of " will a designer coat help you get a job if you don't get a shower" states a certain degree of callous elitism, IMO


I think a homeless person would appreciate such a rare nicety as a designer coat a lot better than those self serving people who lack any sense of integrity.


BTW, we wouldn't trade it for drugs. We didn't and still don't do drugs.

 

[Sunny Side Up]

In answer to the OP's question, YES, I would be upset by this. Even though it's not too surprising, and "technically" not stealing, and something out of one's hands when they choose to give something away. At the very least, it's awfully tacky, and especially so when such a rude comment is added. Unfortunately, it gives a bad image to all church-goers when someone does this within a church charity, even though all church charities don't do things like this, and it is NOT what Jesus calls His followers to do.

Perhaps this lady sincerely did not think she was doing something wrong, substituting one coat for another and giving her BF the better garment. By her comment you can tell what she really thinks of the homeless people she is supposed to be serving through this charity.

As others have said, it wouldn't be worth it to hold on to anger or let it grow into bitterness over this. But it's up to the OP to decide whether or not to address the issue with this lady at this time, or to tell her later if she should ever again ask for donations. It's much healthier to forgive her completely.

In my community there are a few charities that collect things to be given directly to the needy. I prefer to donate clothes & etc to them knowing it won't be picked over or resold. It doesn't bother me when charities re-sell items, but many of them that do must be more selective with what they keep, and end up throwing away a lot of things that are still useable.

 

[TinyChickenLady]

Quote:
You are an example of what, I believe, most homeless folks are like. They aren't drug dealers. They aren't theives. They are regular people who were dealt a bad hand or needed to get out of a bad situation. They need a hand up sometimes just like everyone does.

 

[NYboy]

Quote:
I would be furious. "Too good" for someone homeless?? Just who does she think she is to make that determination?

(I'll stop here before I get myself into trouble ...)

Yes that comment is rude. I agree.

Would you have allowed her to do what she did if she asked you?

Good question I had to think about, most likely yes if she asked. I think thats what upset me, this was someone I knew, not a stranger at a drop off center.

 

[mom'sfolly]

I volunteer at the local Serving Center, which operates a food pantry, clothing store and furniture store. Taking anything donated is considered theft. I've sorted clothes, worked on the loading dock, stocked the food pantry and work in the clothing store. This charity is very clear and very strict on the rules. No one takes anything that has been donated. No one prices things specially for another volunteer. Volunteers may take something once it has been priced and put on the selling floor, and pay after their shift; they are not allowed to grab anything before it goes onto the selling floor. Volunteers are not allowed to take food, unless it is bread that goes on a particular shelf (usually donated artisan bread that has a very short shelf life).

At this charity, name brand clothing is specially marked. All that means is that real money must change hands for it to be purchased. Clothing vouchers cannot be used on the "boutique" items. However, if they don't sell, they go out onto the floor with the rest of the stuff.

What this person did was unethical at best. The coat wasn't donated to her, it was donated to a charity. She took it to mean that she could replace anything donated with a similar item of lesser value. It would be like saying the check for $200 dollars was too much, but I have a check for $20 that will work just as well. Or the crappy, old, leaking, roach infested trailer I have is good enough; I'll take the nice manufactured home that was donated, and swap them out.

So yes, I would be upset. And I would tell her exactly why I was upset.

 

[KristyHall]

Quote:
You are an example of what, I believe, most homeless folks are like. They aren't drug dealers. They aren't theives. They are regular people who were dealt a bad hand or needed to get out of a bad situation. They need a hand up sometimes just like everyone does.

Thanks, and I agree. Something about that just set me off. I'm calmer now. My mother i a good woman who went through heck and back to protect my sister and I when she learned what he was doing. She has been looked down on and dismissed because she came from poverty then chose to return to it rather than let a monster hurt her children. She worked hard and literally broke her back (and kept working even with a broken back. she has a bachelors and as not above flipping burgers to feed us. ) to make sure my sister and I has a better life than she did.

Anyone who would suggest that she is unclean, or a drug addict, or lazy, or appreciative doesn't know the real face of poverty.

 

[dfr1973]

While we're on the subject ...

About one-third of the adult homeless population are veterans.

source: http://www.nchv.org/background.cfm​

 

[cassie]

Sue lacks ethics, morals, and character. Personally, I would want nothing further to do with her, but that's me.