Would You Be Upset?

[KristyHall]

Quote:
I agree

 

[KristyHall]

Quote:
source: http://www.nchv.org/background.cfm

good point

 

[TinyChickenLady]

Quote:
I agree

Me too

 

[frostbite]

I am the person who used the phrase "will a designer coat help you get a job if you don't get a shower".

I have been accused of "callous elitism." To those who would accuse me of "callous elitism", you don't know me. You don't know what I do, you don't know what I feel, you don't know how I serve, and you are no where close to understanding my motivations. Your judgement is ill-placed.

My comment was not a criticism of homeless people. Their inability to meet their clothing, food and hygiene needs are all intertwined, and the issues that keep them homeless are complex and difficult, but they are beloved children of God, as are you, and as am I, and as is the woman who misappropriated the coat. The rhetorical question I posed was not a justification of what the woman did in swapping coats. My message was about whether it is useful in any way for a person to get outraged about things they cannot control. If you like being angry, I suppose it's fine. But the OP didn't ask if it was okay for them to be upset. The OP asked "Would YOU be upset." I gave my answer.

I prefer peace.

 

[punk-a-doodle]

cassie wrote:

Sue lacks ethics, morals, and character. Personally, I would want nothing further to do with her, but that's me.

Yep. Sue certainly did not ask for coats to trade for personal wardrobes, she asked for coats that would go to the homeless. If I could play some role one day in helping her find a more...peaceful and aware role in life, great, but it may well be someone else who is better suited for that, or it may never come. And yes, it is upsetting and painful to me when I see how cruelly some can treat and view each other, especailly to further themselves. That emotional energy can be an asset when channeled to, say, find a more honest and direct method of getting coats and other essentials to homeless people, etc.​

 

[Stephanie739]

You all act like she should be tarred and feathered lol Poster, if you are really bothered by this, tell her how you feel. She may believe she had a very valid reason to do what she did, or perhaps really didn't give it much thought and saw nothing wrong with it. Point out why you were bothered

People put their foot in their mouth a lot (the comment was mean). For the record, I am very poor and wouldn't do something like that because it is stealing, in my opinion, but I guess I view it same as I would if someone stole my eggs or my produce, etc. They must have been hungry!

There are much worse things happening in this world.

 

[TinyChickenLady]

Quote:
Yes.... her reason seemed to be that the coat was too good for a homeless person.
Tarred and feathered would be a nice way to go about it.
Thanks soooooo much for the suggestion!!

 

[Cpprpnny19]

Upset? Yes-I would feel the same way I felt
when I overheard a woman say that she "shopped"
for her kids from the donated toys for the "Toys for Tots"
program. (she was a volunteer and I think a wife of a
Marine)

I donate directly now-never through a "Middle Agent".

In fact I will be taking 12 dozen eggs from my hennies to the food pantry
this Saturday with many thanks to Freecycle ~ I was able to get
about 50 used but clean 12 count egg cartons for free.

Lynne

 

[Spookwriter]

The original poster gave the gift of six coats with an open
and willing heart.

And that is wonderful : To give without strings.

Do not let the actions of another person lessen the beauty
of your gift.

 

[KristyHall]

NYboy wrote:
My friend's mother who I will call Sue, belongs to a church in a very poor parish. There are large number of homeless and unemployed in the neighborhood. Sue called me and said her church was having a coat drive. I told her I would go though my closets. I decided any coat that no longer fit was being donated. I ended up with 6 coats, some where very expensive designer label. I dropped the coats at Sue's house and felt really good about it.
A few days later I ran into Sue's boyfriend, he was wearing a Ralph Lauren coat I donated. I knew it was my coat because the top button was chewed. I was surprised then angry and called Sue about it. She told me the coat was too good for someone homeless and traded it for her boyfriends winter coat. I donated 6 coats, 6 people got coats, so she didn't think anything is wrong. I know when you make a donation you have no control over how it is used. Would you be upset?

frostbite wrote:

I wouldn't be upset, it would be a waste of my emotional energy. But in the future, I might trust her to be herself, and donate directly to a charity rather than donating through her.

In a way, she's right, 6 coats got donated. Does a homeless person feel better in a Ralph Lauren coat than another coat? Will a designer label help them get a job if they can't get a shower? Is it the most comfortable coat to sleep in if you live in a box under a bridge? And homeless people got helped, and you aren't missing anything out of your house that you hadn't intended to offload, right? I work with homeless people, and I can tell you that designer coats don't look like designer coats for long.

If it pleases you to give these gifts to go to charity, give them directly to charity, now that you know your friend will do a bit of cherry picking.

In the meantime, enjoy peace. It's a lot more comfy than anger.


I wrote:

I would be upset indeed! That general attitude irritates me to no end. Or family was homeless at one time. I guess decent clothes are just too good for the likes of us. Never mind we were homeless because our mother fled a wealthy and abusive man who had the money to make things hard on us and we had to move from shelter to shelter to keep from being killed.

Even the general attitude of " will a designer coat help you get a job if you don't get a shower" states a certain degree of callous elitism, IMO


I think a homeless person would appreciate such a rare nicety as a designer coat a lot better than those self serving people who lack any sense of integrity.


BTW, we wouldn't trade it for drugs. We didn't and still don't do drugs.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>


I stand by my oppinion