Writing goals

[Isabella7Storm5]

So if we were never allowed to write...

I never thought about that..l

 

[Isabella7Storm5]

I’m doing a writing related acrylic painting rn and I realized that my art process is just as sporadic as my writing process

 

[Somewhere_In_The_Clouds]

Well I was going to try and write this morning...
But Matty distracted me

 

[Isabella7Storm5]

Well I was going to try and write this morning...
But Matty distracted me

Do one sentence

 

[Somewhere_In_The_Clouds]

Do one sentence

I wrote myself a lovely note to fix my story. Every time I find something like this, I cannot be bothered fixing it but know if I don't note it, I'll just forget...

I might write in the car in a bit. I'm on a quest to find a capybara to photograph today though.

 

[E Sylvanus]

This is a true saying and worthy of all men to be received.


This isn't a hard fix. You just need to vary your sentence length and core structure. So far, every sentence is sharing the same grammatical structure of, "The subject 'verbed'," so to speak.

What I would do is chop it up in some areas and combine others, this is very lyrical already and can have even more rhythm if you pace it a tad different.

Just for your first few sentences--
"The ship leaped from the pool. Fighting against the drag of waves on the skiff, Kostas cut power, turning sharply."

Make some shorter, make others longer. Try reversing the sentence order.
Ooh, and my favorite-- give certain sentences their own paragraph. It really ups the ante, makes it read even faster too.
Like this.
See?
Dramatic, amiright?

Very well said! Varying the sentence structure was going to be my suggestion, but knocked it out of the park with your examples.