Yeah but nobody has even been doing the "good morning where's my coffee" posts in the mornings and the here's my day recaps. I think they have quit us for another thread or worse.... the other forum!
Okay, I'm awake. Sorta. Just added sugar and creamer to the coffee, so I need to actually DRINK it and let my bloodstream pick it up before I'm actually awake.
But I promised an explanation, so I'm here. Spring has happened to most people. But don't worry, spring doesn't last very long here. As soon as we hit Summer and those high temperatures leave everyone yearning for the A/C, they'll be back. What else are they going to do while sitting indoors in front of the A/C?
But for me, I've been purposely avoiding you all. All of you, not just one. And not by your own fault. I suffer from severe chronic depression, and have to take medication every day for the rest of my life. Thankfully, it mostly works, as long as I'm taking it. If I ever hesitate about leaving the house for any event, it's just one of the bad days, but I'll be fine. It's much, MUCH better than it used to be. I can function, at least. But it also explains why I'm somewhat chatty online, and more of a "hello-and-dash" person face-to-face. There are no negative side effects, but there ARE withdrawal symptoms. And they can start as quickly as 36 hours after the last pill (so roughly 12 hours after the missed dose). As long as I have some on hand, I usually feel the changes and run to grab a pill.
The problem is, I ran low on medication recently. They write my prescriptions for a year at a time, each refill lasting a month. It goes through the VA, so I just request refills online, and have it mailed to me. Easy peasy. But I was running near the end of the actual prescription itself - no more refills. I had to get the entire prescription renewed.
But at the same time, I have a civil lawsuit going on (I'm the plaintiff, not the defendant) and knew they would be scheduling depositions soon. The first attempt was back in February when we had the ice storm. It got cancelled and never rescheduled. I was waiting to hear something about the reschedule before scheduling the doctor's appointment. BOTH of them were 2.5 hours away in the same direction (or so I thought anyway). A little over three weeks ago, I gave up and scheduled my doctor's appointment anyway. The first available date they had was April 21st. My medication ran out April 18th. Withdrawal symptoms were imminent.
There are lots of withdrawal symptoms but the worst being that I lose control over my own emotions, and turn into a "primal beast". I think irrationally, sometimes even on a paranoid level, and lash out at people. And it's like looking at yourself in third person - you can see it happening, but you can't do a thing to stop it. It's HORRIBLE! Obviously, it's not good for social settings - including online forums. So I disappeared with only a small random comment here and there.
Then last week they called to tell me depositions were scheduled, the same day of my appointment. At first I celebrated. That was until I found out the depositions were NOT in the same location, and were about an hour out of the way of that trip. So I had them bump it back an hour. Didn't work - their lawyer took so long, I was 30 minutes late to the appointment. They cancelled the appointment even though I showed up (and even though my doctor is usually an hour late to see me...).
BUT the saving grace - I told them I needed the appointment because I was out of meds and going into withdrawals. They ran a slip back to the doctor, and she put it in to the computer right away. I was able to pick them up and leave - although 3 hours later because the pharmacy is so slow (now you know why I like to have them mailed). Rescheduling? I have no idea. See the doctor? I could care less now. I have my meds. In my opinion, that makes me healthy for another year.
It also makes me okay to be on these forums again, lol!
