ok, so I have been working on this for like 3 hours but I think I am finally done, so get ready to ROFL.
Hmmmm, you know your country when:
Everyone within a 10 mile radius has at least one dead vehicle on their property.
Your idea of a traffic jam is waiting to get onto Highway #2 at the Shell station.
You measure distance in hours, Like 2.5 hours to The Tri-Cities.
To you, south doesn't mean Florida.
You know people who have hit deer, elk, moose or cattle.
Your school classes were cancelled because of cold, but only when it was -40 or colder and the school's boiler ran out of coal.
You've had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
You think ethanol makes your truck "run a lot better."
You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it, no matter what time of the year.
You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition.
Example "Where's my coat at?" or "If you go to the mall I wanna go with."
All the festivals in the area are named after fruits, vegetables, grain or testicles.
You've gotten a "To Go" drink from the local bar.
You've stopped by the local bar to cash a check.
You install security lights on your house but leave it unlocked.
You know what "Cow Tipping", "Garden Raiding" and "Snipe Hunting" are.
You only own 4 spices salt, pepper, ketchup and Cheese Whiz.
You know someone who's lost their license due to an impaired charge and have seen their snowmobile parked at the local bar.
You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
You've gone to the grocery store on a snowmobile.
Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
You think everyone from a bigger city is stuck up.
You get a little claustrophobic when you're in a "big city" like the suburb just 30 minutes away and their traffic is just awful, you wouldn't believe it, especially on the corner with the burger barn and the video store that gets the "new" movies about a year after they actually come out.
You think sexy winter lingerie is a flannel nightie and tube socks.
You know how many cords of wood it will take to get through the winter.
The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page but requires 6 pages for Ice Wolves Hockey.
You think that the opening of elk season should be a national holiday.
You carry a roll of toilet paper in the glove box in case you have to stop and go by the road.
Driver's Education was a joke for you and all your classmates, since you've all been driving since you were 10.
You know someone who's shot themselves accidentally and at least 10 teenagers who took a BB to the rear on purpose.
You know what Prairie Oysters are, and have recipes for them.
when you understand the terms, "Kick in the pants", "okie-rigged" and "Sh** from shineola"
Calling those critters in the field cattle and not cows
You get pulled over and everyone in town asks you about it the next day because they heard it all on their police scanner
Knowing that Angus isnt necessarily better than Hereford as far as beef goes and also knowing that no one will know if it was Holstein once it is formed into hamburger
If you can still recite the 4-H and the FFA pledges at 30 and you aren't a leader or Ag teacher
Hmmmm, you know your country when:
Everyone within a 10 mile radius has at least one dead vehicle on their property.
Your idea of a traffic jam is waiting to get onto Highway #2 at the Shell station.
You measure distance in hours, Like 2.5 hours to The Tri-Cities.
To you, south doesn't mean Florida.
You know people who have hit deer, elk, moose or cattle.
Your school classes were cancelled because of cold, but only when it was -40 or colder and the school's boiler ran out of coal.
You've had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
You think ethanol makes your truck "run a lot better."
You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it, no matter what time of the year.
You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition.
Example "Where's my coat at?" or "If you go to the mall I wanna go with."
All the festivals in the area are named after fruits, vegetables, grain or testicles.
You've gotten a "To Go" drink from the local bar.
You've stopped by the local bar to cash a check.
You install security lights on your house but leave it unlocked.
You know what "Cow Tipping", "Garden Raiding" and "Snipe Hunting" are.
You only own 4 spices salt, pepper, ketchup and Cheese Whiz.
You know someone who's lost their license due to an impaired charge and have seen their snowmobile parked at the local bar.
You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
You've gone to the grocery store on a snowmobile.
Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
You think everyone from a bigger city is stuck up.
You get a little claustrophobic when you're in a "big city" like the suburb just 30 minutes away and their traffic is just awful, you wouldn't believe it, especially on the corner with the burger barn and the video store that gets the "new" movies about a year after they actually come out.
You think sexy winter lingerie is a flannel nightie and tube socks.
You know how many cords of wood it will take to get through the winter.
The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page but requires 6 pages for Ice Wolves Hockey.
You think that the opening of elk season should be a national holiday.
You carry a roll of toilet paper in the glove box in case you have to stop and go by the road.
Driver's Education was a joke for you and all your classmates, since you've all been driving since you were 10.
You know someone who's shot themselves accidentally and at least 10 teenagers who took a BB to the rear on purpose.
You know what Prairie Oysters are, and have recipes for them.
when you understand the terms, "Kick in the pants", "okie-rigged" and "Sh** from shineola"
Calling those critters in the field cattle and not cows
You get pulled over and everyone in town asks you about it the next day because they heard it all on their police scanner
Knowing that Angus isnt necessarily better than Hereford as far as beef goes and also knowing that no one will know if it was Holstein once it is formed into hamburger
If you can still recite the 4-H and the FFA pledges at 30 and you aren't a leader or Ag teacher
