Funniest Things A City Slicker Has Ever Said To You?

[gmendoza]

I have one:

A extended relative of mine asked if we could give her only the brown eggs. We give away eggs to our relatives, but she was insistent on getting brown eggs. She says she buys them at the store because the brown eggs are vegetarian eggs.

what is she thinking? I have chickens who lay brown eggs, green eggs, white eggs,etc. if a bug, or beetle or worm or mouse enters the run, then all vegetarian bets are off.

I appeased her because she is my Boo and caved into giving her the brown "vegetarian" eggs.

 

[ChickenCanoe]

I got a good one:
My family is from Minnesota. My sister was visiting our uncle who lives in the Chicago area. While there she met a guy (lets call him Dave) who was visiting some relatives also. He was from Florida. They were getting along quite well so my sister decided to go down to Florida to see what it was like. She figured on driving down and was pondering what it would cost in gas to drive there and back. "Dave" told her she couldn't figure it would cost the same for both ways because it would take more gas to come back to Minnesota because it would be uphill all the way.

And the guy's an adult. I had a friend that thought all rivers flowed south. Perhaps because we live near the Mississippi - but more likely because north is up on a map.

My daughter visited a friend in Kansas City and swore it took more gas to get there from (about 250 miles to the east) St. Louis than returning home. He didn't believe her.
Even though there are up and down hills, it actually is down hill overall by about 300 feet. I imagine the noticeable effect on mileage is the prevailing winds. Going to KC she's facing a headwind, returning, she has a tailwind.

There's about 800 feet difference between Minnesota and Florida. Probably not enough to affect mileage much. What's the difference between climbing an 800 ft. hill as opposed to coasting down? Perhaps a gallon of gas at the most?

 

[7 Biddies]

"Don't you get malaria from Quail?" I was trying not to die laughing.
also "Quail lay eggs?"
and last but not least "You can eat eggs that aren't a chicken's?"
those were the funniest

Yeah, and they make a *big* mess when you swat them on your arm.

 

[QuailRaiser]

Yeah, and they make a *big* mess when you swat them on your arm.

definitly

 

[Gumiho]

This is a dog one, but when reading these out to my Husband he reminded me of it.

Back in July I came back to the USA to visit my mother (shortly after this trip we did an emergency move back) But due to my Husband's work hours I brought my then 4 month old white Jindo puppy with me. Not once, but TWICE I had people ask if he was a Dingo. When I explained to one that no, he was a Korean hunting dog... They responded "But they were related to Dingo because they come from the same place right?"

Now, setting aside the Dingo being from Korea silliness for a moment... And to be fair, at 4 months old he was looking pretty rangy and Jindo, being a primitive breed do share physical similarity o Dingo... So I could understand thinking they looked similar...

But just how many Dingo exactly are walking around Atlanta enough that people are randomly guessing them as a breed on the streets???

But on that note, most people are clueless even with more common dogs.
I fostered a 70 APBT and had a woman INSIST that he was a Lab because she bred labs and she should know (I'd hate to see those "labs") and another prospective adopter that emailed back and forth for weeks before becoming confused and asking his breed (clearly stated in his listing) and being confused because she thought only Chihuahuas had his color (fawn), and she thought he was a Chi. Which I guess is why she constantly referred to him as "Little Guy". But the cake goes to the very first inquiry I received about him. Keep in mind he was a foster and his listing clearly stated he was already Neutered. They wanted to know if he'd be a good breeding prospect. I responded that, as the listing states, he has already been neutered. They responded back that "We saw that but we might still want to breed him!" I wanted to respond that "Sure! Especially if paired up with a spayed female! Easiest litter to whelp and raise you'll ever have!" -.-

Plus continual comments about how he was too SMALL to be an APBT. At 70 pounds he was HUGE for the breed, just shows how much damage has been done to the poor breed on all levels.

I used to have a GSDxDobe puppy with huge satellite dish ears, natural. Had a lady stop me in a pet store and reprimand me "You should be ashamed of cutting that poor dog's ears!" To which I responded "I didn't, those are her natural ears." and in return she replied... "Thats no excuse!" :/

Same dog, I had someone, in all serious, tell me they didn't think she had any GSD and were pretty sure she was a poorly bred Min Pin... She was about 55 pounds at that point.

And growing up we had Samoyeds, quite a few people asked why we had wolves or what business kids had walking them. :/


Oh... And my Husband recently learned about the reproductive traits of ducks and is probably scarred for life and insists we will never have any... He'll have to get over that.

 

[The Yakima Kid]

This is a dog one, but when reading these out to my Husband he reminded me of it.

Back in July I came back to the USA to visit my mother (shortly after this trip we did an emergency move back) But due to my Husband's work hours I brought my then 4 month old white Jindo puppy with me. Not once, but TWICE I had people ask if he was a Dingo. When I explained to one that no, he was a Korean hunting dog... They responded "But they were related to Dingo because they come from the same place right?"

Now, setting aside the Dingo being from Korea silliness for a moment... And to be fair, at 4 months old he was looking pretty rangy and Jindo, being a primitive breed do share physical similarity o Dingo... So I could understand thinking they looked similar...

But just how many Dingo exactly are walking around Atlanta enough that people are randomly guessing them as a breed on the streets???

Got another one on "dingoes."

There is a Basque herding dog found in the northwestern states that is known as a "Dingo." It comes from the Basque country in Spain and France, and has nothing to do with the wild Australian animal, although they do tend to be a yellow color. The breed name comes from the Basque language.

So, there is this dog bite lawyer who on his webpage refers to the horror of someone bitten by a Dingo in Oregon, and wonder why anyone was keeping a wild animal! Then there was the new arrival to Nevada who asked a woman what kind of dog she had, and when the lady replied it was a Dingo, she called the cops because there was someone with a wild animal in town - even when the cops set her straight, she insisted it was some sort of wild-domestic cross dog because it wasn't in the AKC.

Then there are the people who think that there are "purebred" Mustangs that descent from "Spanish Arabians." (The Spanish weren't partial to riding the small Mediterranean horses and used warhorses of other breeds, although those may have had some Barb or Arab ancestry.) They become irate when you point out that the Spanish imported a lot more pack horses than fine riding animals. A friend of mine had her aged registered Stallion who was most definitely NOT a mustang let loose by thieves when they robbed her barn. He was found, genetically tested by a "mustrang rescue", determined to be a "purebred mustang", and euthanized as being too old to live on the range. She had gone to every horse rescue group repeatedly, the sheriff, and everyone else. The "mustang rescue" group had only given a cursory look at the photos and information she brought because she was describing a registered horse of X breed, while the horse they had euthanized was a "purebred mustang." Finally, someone took a good look, and realized what had happened. The "purest mustangs" are alleged to come from certain areas - but many of those areas actually were occupied by ranchers who raised horses for the remount and used TB stallions to improve the wild stock. (One of my own great-grandfather was in the business, so whenever I hear the broomtails from that area described as some of the "purest Mustangs" I laugh myself silly, remembering how dutifully those old ranchers disposed of the broomtail stallions on the range so they could turn out bloodstock stalliions. The sad thing is that while they are busy "reducing" the broomtail herds by removing those whose genetics don't test out as sufficiently Arabian in their opinions, they are destroying many of the qualities - such as toughness, determination, easy keeping and so on - that were the very qualities that the old timers prized in the mustangs.

 

[oldrooster]

Quote: My Aunt and Uncle said they didn't really know my dad when he past (my parents where married over 26 years at his passing) and my mom said well if you had come over all the times I invited you to our house maybe you would have. We where invited to their house 4-5 times and I asked her why she never came to ours. She said it was too far to drive with 3 kids. Apperantly driving the same roads at the same speeds it takes longer to drive north then south than south then north....

I've got two for you. One, there was, and maybe still is, a plant in Ripon, CA that made instant coffee. One city official became upset when he found out the local farmers were spreading the used coffee grounds on their fields as a soil amendment. He was sure the grounds would seep into the water supply and one day soon when the citizens of Ripon would turn on the tap they would get coffee instead of water out of the faucet. He had the bad judgement to relate his concerns to a newspaper reporter. Apparently he was unaware that bacteria break down the coffee grounds. The second occurred several years ago. There was a TV movie titled The Morning After or something similar. It was about the aftermath of a nuclear explosion on the US. This idiot proclaimed to the media that the good citizens of Turlock did not have to worry because we were not downwind of any military targets. How he came to that conclusion no one could figure out. At that time there were active military installations to be found to the north, south, east, and west of us, and some of them were within a very few miles.

A daily column in my local paper answers reader's questions, and someone asked if they could find out where they could get some field corn for an older realitive to eat because they ate it occasionally as a child, the newspaper reporter made some comments about eating gravel and kinda made fun of the author, it backfired royally because people called, emailed and mailed in responses that the reporter was off his own rocker.it was so bad the editor made him write an appology letter and publish it.

 

[donrae]

I've got two for you. One, there was, and maybe still is, a plant in Ripon, CA that made instant coffee. One city official became upset when he found out the local farmers were spreading the used coffee grounds on their fields as a soil amendment. He was sure the grounds would seep into the water supply and one day soon when the citizens of Ripon would turn on the tap they would get coffee instead of water out of the faucet. He had the bad judgement to relate his concerns to a newspaper reporter. Apparently he was unaware that bacteria break down the coffee grounds. The second occurred several years ago. There was a TV movie titled The Morning After or something similar. It was about the aftermath of a nuclear explosion on the US. This idiot proclaimed to the media that the good citizens of Turlock did not have to worry because we were not downwind of any military targets. How he came to that conclusion no one could figure out. At that time there were active military installations to be found to the north, south, east, and west of us, and some of them were within a very few miles.

Hey Cassie, I didn't know you were in the central Valley! I grew up in Denair, my first boyfriend lived in Ripon...all those little towns....and yes, I remember Castle AFB, it was pretty close. Not big, but sure had some cute soldiers

 

[Avlana]

I had someone ask me if a mule was a mix between a cow and a horse lol

 

[chickenboy100]

I had someone ask me if a mule was a mix between a cow and a horse lol

O_O That is bad. I have to do the Mule making talk nearly every time we take them out in public... "Look, a Donkey!" "NO, it is a mule blah-blah-blah