Funniest Things A City Slicker Has Ever Said To You?

[Gomes Bantams]

You should have told him just as soon as he grew something to milk from you'd start with him....

that would have been creepy.

 

[bethbug74]

I once had someone argue with me about the 2 'types' of chickens.

This person had 1 "type" of chicken they were raising on their hobby farm.

This argument started when I asked them if they thought the eggs from their chickens tasted better than store bought eggs.
They looked at me like I was crazy, "NO! We can't eat our chickens eggs. These are chick hatching eggs. We don't have eating egg chickens."

I was like "WHAT?!?"

That's right - apparently there are 2 'types' of chickens - The kind that lay chick hatching eggs and the kind that lay eating eggs.

I tried to explain the whole rooster/hen egg thing, but it didn't work.
And they had non-setters, so all the eggs the hens layed were on the floor of the coop!

BTW - I live in a city and this crazy person lived on a farm.

 

[CGinJCMO]

This wasn't said to me but I heard two 6th grade boys talking. Actually, I wasn't paying attention to them until I heard one say "pregnant chickens" and I had to try really hard not to laugh at him.

I did ask him and I could see his point. His reasoning is the chicken is pregnant until the egg is actually laid. I guess he is a strong "life begins at conception" type of person.

He may have been in a science class, but we were studying the Rock Cycle not Reproduction so I didn't continue the conversation. LOL

CG

 

[Cowgirl71]

Someone told me a story once about this city slicker friend of his, and he swore it was a true story. The city slicker friend was so excited about deer season. He bought a rifle, got permission from a different friend to hunt on his property, and eagerly awaited the opening day of deer season. The first morning, he gets up bright and early, and didn't see a single deer. He went out again at dusk, and again, no deer. He goes out several more times in the next week, work permitting, and still sees no deer. And then, second-to-last day of deer season, he sees a deer on the neighboring property. So he goes ahead and shoots it, climbs over the fence, drags his trophy to the fence, throws it over, and then straps it to the top of his vehicle. Then he drives to the local Mini-Mart and excitedly comes in and tells this friend (the person who told me this story): "Come look, come look! I got me an albino spike buck!" (a "spike buck" is a young buck that only has "spikes," about 2"-4" long, no multiple points) This guy groans, wondering what his friend actually shot. Sure enough, it was a goat. Turned out it was somebody's pet. I'm very pro-guns myself, but shouldn't there be a small quick animal-identification book that city slickers should be required to read and get tested on before they're allowed to go deer hunting?

 

[cassie]

My husband told me about one idiot he saw proudly displaying the "goose" he bagged. It was a pelican. If I had seen it I would have reported him to Fish & Game ASAP.

 

[CGinJCMO]

Unfortunately, there are stupid hunters that shoot anything (horses, goats, cows, etc) and there are ignorant hunters that truly don't know any better.


CG

 

[becc]

'Are they turkeys?'
Whilst pointing to my muscovies

 

[Cowgirl71]

I'm gonna borrow a story by Jerry Crownover (his "Life is Simple" column always makes me laugh!)...

Jerry has a friend (let's call him "Bob") who worked at a university teaching college students how to pregnancy check cattle (for those who want to become large animal vets). So one day Bob calls Jerry and asks if he could bring some kids over for some real experience preg-testing Jerry's cows. Jerry says, "Sure, but mine are all 2nd stage (3-6 months pregnant), so there's not going to be a whole lot of variability." Bob says that's fine. So soon after Bob shows up with about 20 kids, several of which Jerry is certain didn't realize what they were getting into when they signed up for the course. So Jerry and one of his ranch hands get the cows all herded up, and then chase one down the chute and into the head catch. The first student gloves up, lubes up, and then goes in and about 15 seconds later pronounces the cow "2nd." They do it again, with a different cow and a different student, and again, the cow is pronounced "2nd." They keep going until there's just one last student. This student is a girl with fancy painted fingernails, lot's of makeup, expensive clothes, a real stand out from the rest. Jerry and Bob exchange looks as Jerry chases the last cow of the day down the chute. The girl gloves up, lubes up, and then goes in. At this point Jerry and Bob and several of the students bust up laughing! Jerry had put the bull in the chute and the girl hadn't even noticed!

But to the girl's credit, she did pronounce the bull "open" (not pregnant).

 

[Farmerboy16]

I'm gonna borrow a story by Jerry Crownover (his "Life is Simple" column always makes me laugh!)...

Jerry has a friend (let's call him "Bob") who worked at a university teaching college students how to pregnancy check cattle (for those who want to become large animal vets).  So one day Bob calls Jerry and asks if he could bring some kids over for some real experience preg-testing Jerry's cows.  Jerry says, "Sure, but mine are all 2nd stage (3-6 months pregnant), so there's not going to be a whole lot of variability."  Bob says that's fine.  So soon after Bob shows up with about 20 kids, several of which Jerry is certain didn't realize what they were getting into when they signed up for the course.  So Jerry and one of his ranch hands get the cows all herded up, and then chase one down the chute and into the head catch.  The first student gloves up, lubes up, and then goes in and about 15 seconds later pronounces the cow "2nd."  They do it again, with a different cow and a different student, and again, the cow is pronounced "2nd."  They keep going until there's just one last student.  This student is a girl with fancy painted fingernails, lot's of makeup, expensive clothes, a real stand out from the rest.  Jerry and Bob exchange looks as Jerry chases the last cow of the day down the chute.  The girl gloves up, lubes up, and then goes in.  At this point Jerry and Bob and several of the students bust up laughing!  Jerry had put the bull in the chute and the girl hadn't even noticed!

But to the girl's credit, she did pronounce the bull "open" (not pregnant). 

 

[cassie]

I couldn't say much about this one. I tried to slap a milking machine on a bull once. I was a milker, it was late, I was very tired, and I was running on automatic pilot. I was so tired it took me a while to figure out what the problem was. When I looked up and saw this puzzled face looking around at me with a ring in its nose, I got a clue. I never did find out why and how that bull ended up in the milk string.