Funniest Things A City Slicker Has Ever Said To You?

[Jennsbirds]

Until I was in fourth grade, I thought a llama was a tall, South American sheep

 

[Minniechickmama]

Until I was in fourth grade, I thought a llama was a tall, South American sheep

Well, I can see that, and if you were only 10 or 11, then I would give you a pass on that.
When people call your sheep or goat a dog though? Then there is something REALLY wrong there.

How about those people who think a bulls or rams testicle are where milk comes from? Our county fair was just outside of Buffalo, NY (The Great Erie County Fair and Exposition), and we got some real doozies. I wish I could remember all the dumb stuff, but it has been too many years.

 

[rebelcowboysnb]

Ya'll seen the "goat" version music videos on youtube now? Those all fit in this thread..


Cause..

 

[nok13]

well all that stuff is just city slickers. all our kids on kibbutz were raised when we still had a dairy cow farm (we used to take the kids and let the cows lick their hands... ) and a petting zoo even with (protected rescued wild local animals)... my daughter was exposed to pythons before she was even born, and has been with animals ever since but a few days ago we had that same egg/chick question posed by her, as someone in the thread wrote recently... fertizlized egg means eating a baby chick (daugher isa a tree hugging non red meat eater taht also wont eat chicken or fish that looks like chicken or fish; in our house that meat looks like the animal (fish served whole, hubby doesnt even gut them), heads, legs, combs, snouts, whatever, its all served... but here she was asking the same stupid questionl. and so did my neighbhor's boy, whose grandfather raised egg chickens as a business, and he himslef had helped more then once feed and mainatain the coops... it just seems to be something taht causes confusion in the human mind because in humans and other mammals, once an ovum (egg) is fertilized, it is a feotus and therefore alive. even my son (the one who keeps kosher) thought that a fertile egg isnt kosher but that would be rediculous cause from teh time of the bible chickens have been kepts as hens with roosters for eggs and chicks...

i guess in trying to explain to a child what the difference is, could be difficult...

 

[Jennsbirds]

I am so confused about the posts of lack of farm knowledge having to do with promiscuity or other such 'wild' behavior. To quote my grandmother, her generation and her mother's 'would do things that would make an old farm-hand blush'.

I'm missing some context or something.

Anyway, a funny I remembered thanks to granma:

One of her friends adopted a kitten and named it Princess (or something similar). At that age, it was hard to tell the sex of the cat and she thought it was so adorable it was a girl. The sat, however, grew up into a VERY obviously unneutered tom and would strut around when guests were over, but was introduced as 'Princess'.

More than once, a conversation like this has happened:
"Shouldn't someone tell her?"
"She's a married woman; I thought she'd know."

 

[Minniechickmama]

I am so confused about the posts of lack of farm knowledge having to do with promiscuity or other such 'wild' behavior. To quote my grandmother, her generation and her mother's 'would do things that would make an old farm-hand blush'.

I'm missing some context or something.

Anyway, a funny I remembered thanks to granma:

One of her friends adopted a kitten and named it Princess (or something similar). At that age, it was hard to tell the sex of the cat and she thought it was so adorable it was a girl. The sat, however, grew up into a VERY obviously unneutered tom and would strut around when guests were over, but was introduced as 'Princess'.

More than once, a conversation like this has happened:
"Shouldn't someone tell her?"
"She's a married woman; I thought she'd know."

As for the "wild behavior" and doing things that make another blush...
Yeah, it has been fine for eons that women have to tend to certain aspects of the breeding, birthing and treating of animals that men pretended didn't happen and females were just too naive about such things or didn't belong within eyeshot of. When I was a kid (even as a teenager), when the bull was brought out to use on a cow that wouldn't get pregnant with AI, us girls were told to leave the barn. It wasn't over a safety thing, trust me.

As for the cat, if she couldn't tell it was a tom, what did she think that smell was? LMAO

 

[nok13]

i think the 'make farm hands blush' was more about the imaginativeness of a farm hand rather then a city slicker wise to the ways of the world and worldy women:

a farmer saw his animals mate. they didnt 'make love' (well, i think stallions do a bit, as well as bucks to his harem, but everyone else is prettye much bam bam thank u ma'am style) so farmers were thought to jsut do the ';missionary' , do it and roll off to the side. where as city folks were thought to spend more time (they werent up at teh crack of dawn to feed and muck out, they showered in warm water daily, something that on many farms -and here on the kibbutz in the beginning, and with hubby's village even now- was luxury. at teh best a farm hand smelled clean. at his worst, smelled like pig ****, billy buck or whatever.

to tell the truth, kibbutz boys were always slow to mature, because they were raised with close sisterly contact up til army age, with the girls... and most were already working at age 13, and didnt have time or money (nor ws it considered 'our way' to be dressed up in finery. i suspect farms in the states were/are similar.

on the hother hand, here at least, when the goat breeding season starts it coincideds with holiday vacations for many many religious jewish families. many of the women come from very strict backgrounds, so i had many humurous stories in my petting zoo: they separte the men from the women for most activities so i would get the women, and tell them the stories of my nanny goats' courtships with avram (abraham) my beautiful boer billy goat. the subject would start with the breeding and then soeone , very quietly, would ask about the lenghth of the organ, how long the breeding took, if the nanny goats enjoyed it, and then i would tell them stories of the birthings. most of these stories i could only tell to married women. the younger girls were not allowed to hear the breeding/birthing stories. these women loved tha birthing stories because they also tend to have large families , often with twins, but also the breeding and courtship of the buck was very different then with them (matchmaker marriages)...

i always loved the breeding season for my goats, and loved watching when we had our beautiful male cyprriot donkey jack (django was his name) when he mated with his harem. i did have times when men would allude to the breeding as stirring them up too much... i dont think it was just the sight of animals breeding. i think there are a lot of hormones floating around and it actually affects adults. i think particularly the hormones of a billy buck goat, its pheramones... although not scientifically proven, i believe that it affects poeple...

i dont know about americans or europeans, but here most people feel uncomfortable haveing an anaiml w/o a partner; deeply rooted from the 'two by two' , family oriented society here. same as my husband from his village. for every male there has to be a female also or vice versa...


now completely off thsi thread: there was a rumour here that a cow's saliva would make bald men grow hair again so people used to come out to the kibbutz when we still had our dairy farm, and try to get cows to lick their skulls. cows of course dont really like to lick so people would invent ideas like smearing honey on the skull or sprinkling grain on the head to get the cow to lick. wouldnt cathch any of us letting a cow lick us.....ichhhhhhhhh....

 

[Jennsbirds]

Sorry, I'm not understanding. What does any of that (half of which no one in cities does,) have to do with 'wild' or 'irresponsible behavior?' that city folk do and farm folk don't do (which I still don't know if you're referring to extremely dated stereotypes along he lines of 'you kids and your rock-n-roll ruining everything' or something else). What exactly are we 'city-slickers' doing that you're not?

No, 'stuff an old-farm hand would blush at' was not 'wam-bam-thank you ma'am stuff' (rough yes, but from the way she said it...she meant in a fun way). She was referring to the arguments she had with my parents (hippies) over who's generation had crazier teens (and they wondered why I never got my homework done at granma's). Just to try and clear things up, if context on my end was missed.

Not farm-related, but face-palming:
I used to live up in Washington state and my mom would often take us on the ferry to Canada. After mentioning 'I went to Canada' like it was no big deal wot another person, they asked, 'Are you an Eskimo?' They lived in the same city.

 

[nok13]

if u all want to know, i once was giving a guided tour to a group of adults and chicldren for a christian sect that live south from us -- , they had brought all their community to our petting zoo (about 15 years ago) so i had climbed in to the goat stall, locked all five goats up with their heads in the head stall slats and then milked one goat. i moved to the next goat so the next group could see, and as i groped w/o paying attention to whom i was groping, the goat kept raising one leg and trying to remove my hand. since some nannies do that, i just kept on, while giving my shpiel about animals in the bible and goats milk etc, and then i realized i was milking our buck... no one notice so i just moved on to the next goat, while saying that THAT one had already been milked out. fortunately for me, the whole community are not only city folks, but the adults were from inner city chicago, so non one notice the two gigantic 'teats' didnt have nipples...

and also here many of the closed religious communities in the large cities the children absolutely do NOT know a dog from a bear since they also dont get taught biology and science in their schools. we adn a few other petting zoos actually had/have special programs to teach these children about chickens, goats, etc. (pigs are aboslutely out of the question, even in pic books they are censured out) ... my duaghter is a coordinator for botanical guardens and tehy also are developing programs for children from this sector that havent a clue how a tomatoe grows, where apples are from, how wheat grows etc.

and as for promiscuity, here , because we are a closed community, and not in the city or suburbs, our kids seem to reach sexual maturity relatively later then the city kids here, and definately much much later then the city kids from large coastal cities in the states. all that is all changing too, as we become less isolated from city ways and more like regular suburbs, and less close community oriented and more individualistic.

 

[Jennsbirds]

Quote: I think there's a lot of confusion about what goes on in cities, so I'm going to have to point out some myths.

No schools any of us or our relatives teach anything that ignorant. I've been to some underfunded schools and he's lived in ghettos for most of his life. His cousins come from all over the US and from Germany and none of us have never heard of such a thing. We know our farm animals, many wild animals, and how a plant works by first grade (I was a substitute teacher for K-2 and the kids thought it was dumb not to know these things, including roosters don't lay eggs).

As for promiscuity, that ranges all over the map and varies by individuals. Many of my grandmother's, parents' and my friends are/were pretty open but safe about 'intimacy' and many are/were very dedicated to saving for marriage or a serious relationship. It's not a regular thing, though sex ed does suck in many schools thanks to the school board. That one's very true.

Lastly, we're not all more individualistic and not community-oriented. That's entirely regional and depends on the person.

I doubt you intended any offense by them, though, but we just aren't like that for the most part. I hope that clears some things up and dispels some ignorance about city dwellers.
All children beegin developing earlier or later due to biological reasons. It has nothing to do with living in the city or not unless that drastically affects diet.