Funniest Things A City Slicker Has Ever Said To You?

[Minniechickmama]

i think the 'make farm hands blush' was more about the imaginativeness of a farm hand rather then a city slicker wise to the ways of the world and worldy women:

a farmer saw his animals mate. they didnt 'make love' (well, i think stallions do a bit, as well as bucks to his harem, but everyone else is prettye much bam bam thank u ma'am style) so farmers were thought to jsut do the ';missionary' , do it and roll off to the side. where as city folks were thought to spend more time (they werent up at teh crack of dawn to feed and muck out, they showered in warm water daily, something that on many farms -and here on the kibbutz in the beginning, and with hubby's village even now- was luxury. at teh best a farm hand smelled clean. at his worst, smelled like pig ****, billy buck or whatever.

to tell the truth, kibbutz boys were always slow to mature, because they were raised with close sisterly contact up til army age, with the girls... and most were already working at age 13, and didnt have time or money (nor ws it considered 'our way' to be dressed up in finery. i suspect farms in the states were/are similar.

on the hother hand, here at least, when the goat breeding season starts it coincideds with holiday vacations for many many religious jewish families. many of the women come from very strict backgrounds, so i had many humurous stories in my petting zoo: they separte the men from the women for most activities so i would get the women, and tell them the stories of my nanny goats' courtships with avram (abraham) my beautiful boer billy goat. the subject would start with the breeding and then soeone , very quietly, would ask about the lenghth of the organ, how long the breeding took, if the nanny goats enjoyed it, and then i would tell them stories of the birthings. most of these stories i could only tell to married women. the younger girls were not allowed to hear the breeding/birthing stories. these women loved tha birthing stories because they also tend to have large families , often with twins, but also the breeding and courtship of the buck was very different then with them (matchmaker marriages)...

i always loved the breeding season for my goats, and loved watching when we had our beautiful male cyprriot donkey jack (django was his name) when he mated with his harem. i did have times when men would allude to the breeding as stirring them up too much... i dont think it was just the sight of animals breeding. i think there are a lot of hormones floating around and it actually affects adults. i think particularly the hormones of a billy buck goat, its pheramones... although not scientifically proven, i believe that it affects poeple...

i dont know about americans or europeans, but here most people feel uncomfortable haveing an anaiml w/o a partner; deeply rooted from the 'two by two' , family oriented society here. same as my husband from his village. for every male there has to be a female also or vice versa...


now completely off thsi thread: there was a rumour here that a cow's saliva would make bald men grow hair again so people used to come out to the kibbutz when we still had our dairy farm, and try to get cows to lick their skulls. cows of course dont really like to lick so people would invent ideas like smearing honey on the skull or sprinkling grain on the head to get the cow to lick. wouldnt cathch any of us letting a cow lick us.....ichhhhhhhhh....

They could get a good scratching too with the cow tongue! Like #2 sandpaper! LOL They should have tried salt.

It is fun to hear how different cultures look at things. It all sounds like you have plenty of interesting stories to tell.

 

[Minniechickmama]

Jenn,
I am getting the distinct impression that you are taking offense to the term "city slicker".
Perhaps you dwell in a city but don't fit into that (yes) stereotype, but it is very true that people who are raised in a city and have never ventured out into the wide-open spaces of the rural parts of our country, do, in fact, ask really really really stupid questions. Or they have some pretty insane ideas about what farm life is, and how animals behave. But you know what? There are city slickers right here in the little town I live in of 2700 people, and we are rural. There are children in our school that think that food just comes from the store. They don't think about where it came from unless someone tells them or shows them.
Is thread was meant as just a fun topic. We all laugh at things that seem just plain off the wall to us, and this is a place where some of us are doing just that.
"People won't eat green eggs because they think they are moldy"
"You can't eat an egg if it has been fertilized"
Those are things that those of us who have spent a bit of time in the coop just can't not laugh at. I am sure there are plenty of things that people in the city laugh at us "country hicks" about.

 

[nok13]

no offenbse ever taken on an internet site; all virtual im in israel not in the states, havent been back except for a two week visit a half year ago, for maybe 30 years... but here, religious is still part of state and there ARE these kind of ignorant people, mostly in cities, because their parents maybe were from communal or semi communal farmships (moshav/kibbutz) but they pulled away from where they came from and went in the opposite direction. many many of the elderly here loved to come to the petting zoo and play with the chicks and see the baladi hens and goats becauuse it reminded them of their childhood up even until the 1970's here, when even city people had a chicken or so, milk was still delivered to doors, many many many people still lived in very different conditions than , for instance , me, growing up in an american suburb. when i came here, poeple didnt have phones (u waited a year to get a phone line), u could still buy stuff on credit even in the city, and everyone had someone who lived on a farm... trust me, i have met lots of people that dont know all this stuff , partially because here, many schools do not/cannot offer sex ed, or parents refuse to let the kids attent; biology is taught but some things are skipped, it depends nowadays where in the country. as for promiscuity, there were always rumours that on kibbutz children and adults were more promiscuous because the children lived together until age 13, and aprents also lived in group housing; in actuallity, because of this, everyone is much less 'open', because u have no privacy here, everyone is in everyone's business; all the same age kdis have seen eachother naked in teh children's houses (like early daycare), so as my son complained one day, everyone is his sister. in the army he was a male surrounded by a bunch of beautiful girl officers, but he was their brother, a shoulder to cry on. at an age when all the city girls here were wearing the latest fashion tights and heavy makeup (still later then its seems the american girls tend to start, from what i hear from my sister and her daughters) our kids were still being functional and comfortable, no makeup, no beauty parlor styles, even now, u can differentiate who is from where in the cities (i work at a hotel and i still can almost 100% id where someone is from , just by a shirt or haircut or way of standing and talking-- moshav/kibbutz/city... here we also pegeon hole people very quickly: wehn we meet someone we aer already trying to figure out 1/ religous or secular 2 if religious, what sect/how much/ where they live/how many kids 3. city/country? new to the country or second generation? 4/ country of origina even if its three generations back: kurdish? morroccan? polish ? german? american? ... what most poeple dont bother about is where and what a person studied... if they are arabic, then we start with countryside/village? city? north or south? religious or not? // well that was also off the topic but something i always find fascinating. i found myself doing that when i was in teh states and it drove my sister crazy//

 

[Jennsbirds]

Jenn, 
I am getting the distinct impression that you are taking offense to the term "city slicker".  
Perhaps you dwell in a city but don't fit into that (yes) stereotype, but it is very true that people who are raised in a city and have never ventured out into the wide-open spaces of the rural parts of our country, do, in fact, ask really really really stupid questions.  Or they have some pretty insane ideas about what farm life is, and how animals behave.  But you know what?  There are city slickers right here in the little town I live in of 2700 people, and we are rural.  There are children in our school that think that food just comes from the store.  They don't think about where it came from unless someone tells them or shows them.
Is thread was meant as just a fun topic.  We all laugh at things that seem just plain off the wall to us, and this is a place where some of us are doing just that.  
"People won't eat green eggs because they think they are moldy"
"You can't eat an egg if it has been fertilized"
Those are things that those of us who have spent a bit of time in the coop just can't not laugh at.  I am sure there are plenty of things that people in the city laugh at us "country hicks" about.

Term, no. I AM a city slicker. But like how I shouldn't stereotype you, it's rude to stereotype me or thr peope around me. Idiots are idiot, but you csn't claim all people of one look or place are idiots (or mean, or act acertain way). Rural people deserve it as much as city people and vice versa. Not cool to blame everyone for something like that. Yes, they are myths. Thisplace is for laughs, but 'all city people are horrible, should be blamed for something, or are stupid' isn't funny and crosses the line into trying to make others feel bad for what thy can't change.

As a cute remark, though, I worked as a teacher for a while and got frustrated asI thoughtbI was a failure for not teaching kids where food comes from. It turned out allthe kids were much brighhtrrthan I gave them credit for

When asked where food came from' they did all answer 'mo' or 'the store'. But when I tried to et them to identify tbe animal meat was from, they thought I was a moron, answering 'a turkey'or ''a bird'.

Tthen I was asked 'how does the turkey get in the store. I started talking about farms and he sid 'i know. Is there a door?'. Turned out the class all thought there was a farm was in the back and the store killed animals there.

Another kid asked me how they turned chicken int nuggets. He wasn't surprised or bothered it had to be killed first.

Just some cuteness

 

[Minniechickmama]

We started raising rabbits this year for meat. We have been raising the pet kind for a few years for my kids to show in 4-H. My daughter who is in 5th grade told the kids at school that we are eating rabbit and that I butcher them. They gave her endless grief and called her all sorts of names for it. She was more upset by their reaction than the fact that we ate Thumper. (We don't really name our meat animals or play with them).

According to Wiki:

City slicker is an idiomatic expression for someone accustomed to a city or urban lifestyle and unsuited to life in the country. The term was typically used as a term of derision by rural Americans who regarded them with amusement.

I don't really think you fit that definition just by the information you have shared with us here. You don't sound completely devoid of knowledge of rural life.

 

[nok13]

interestingly enough, when i went with husband to thailand for our marriage (cant get married here in israel, mix relgioun marriages) my eldest daughter came over for a week to be with us. my husband, a total 'country hick' (they even have a name for that in thai), and me, for the past thirty years living on a kibbutz with the occasional foray in to jerusalem (which essentialy is like a village only big), were totally at a loss in bangkok; the noise, the smell, the traffic and movement of the people, the rushing crowds and amount of variety in stores, it all overwhelmed us. we walked around like two proverbial hicks, while my daughter, who had to gone to an experimental high school in the city here, moved like a regular. it didnt matter that she spoke no thai, while hubby of course its his mother tongue and i also speak. she navigated, figured out the bus system, and walked as if she were born there. we stumbled along, big eyed and when we got back to hsi no electricity, no internet, no city noise (there is agricultural sounds, dogs roosters tractors, and music, but not the constant sounds of cities) dirt road village, we both heaved sighs of relief and swore we wouldnt do that again. we got up at 4-5 a/m with the chickens and the sound of his mother pounding peppers and stuff together for a meal, we went to sleep when it got dark.
essentially here also, at 21:00, there isnt a person around; of course people watch tv but there really isnt anyone out and about. the stores here close at 19:00, a few restaraunts til 23:00, thats it.

things can be taught in a classroom but there is nothing like actually doing it or being exposed in real time to understand something regardless of city country or underwater...
besides people will always laugh at the one that doesnt know or sticks out among others, whether in good fun or in meaness...

 

[Jennsbirds]

We started raising rabbits this year for meat. We have been raising the pet kind for a few years for my kids to show in 4-H. My daughter who is in 5th grade told the kids at school that we are eating rabbit and that I butcher them. They gave her endless grief and called her all sorts of names for it. She was more upset by their reaction than the fact that we ate Thumper. (We don't really name our meat animals or play with them).

According to Wiki:

City slicker is an idiomatic expression for someone accustomed to a city or urban lifestyle and unsuited to life in the country. The term was typically used as a term of derision by rural Americans who regarded them with amusement.

I don't really think you fit that definition just by the information you have shared with us here. You don't sound completely devoid of knowledge of rural life.


There are different kinds of us. Most of us just aren't cut out for farm living, but we know basic knowlege. There are yuppies, who do things because they think it's 'cool' or 'better' but they tend to turn into the 'green eggs are medicinal' people. There are hipsters who do things just to do the opposite of other people.

I fear for the animals those people have. No research, just fads.

Then you have your run-of-the-mill cityslickers, which is most of us. We know our mammals, our farm animals, our meat, and which mammals are boys or girls from just looking at 'em; we probably just call them boys or girls. My teacher once tested us on genetics (mostly punnet squares and the answers from them) and slipped in a trick questions by asking 'if a roan steer and a roan bull mate, what is the likelyhood of a red cow? Everyone knew it was a trick question, but some of us didn't know the difference between a steer and a bull. Some thought it was age, and I thought a steer was gay (I knew animals were neutered, I just didn't know there were specific names for them). Also, until yesterday, my sister thought all quail had 'question marks' on their heads.

You also have morons. They show up everywhere and just like you, all us regular city-slickers love making fun of them. Just don't think most or all of us are like that. We wanna be part of the fun, not clumped with people we mock too.

 

[Minniechickmama]

I think we have cleared up that little matter. Now let's find someone to make fun of

 

[oldrooster]

One last comment on slickers, when it comes to farm machinery I know what most all of the machinery is and used for but I am a self admitted slicker when it comes time to use even a simple tractor, in part because I can't use a stick shift, I saw a John Deere on display at a fair and realized it didn't have a standard H pattern like I saw on a friend's pickup truck shift pattern, I asked him and he told me that Deere has never made an H pattern but nearly every other equipment company has. He told me like most autos the shift patterns where all the same other than some reverse the reverse gear (upper left instead of lower right) just to be different.

 

[Jennsbirds]

Here's a good reason I fear yuppies and their fads. 'Cut all the fat from your diet'.

Cringe.