Funniest Things A City Slicker Has Ever Said To You?

Someone delivered something I ordered from craigslist to my house the other day. His whole family came along to see all my animals. They piled out and stared around in wide eyed at the fact I had animals... everywhere.

They saw my pig and asked if she was friend. I said yes and told them her name. They called and called her but she ignored them. He asked if I could get her to come over. I whistled and said her name and she started running over. They laughed at how quick she came.
They wanted to see the horses so I whistled and over came my girls for a head scratch.

One of the guys said " wow they come running like dogs!" and another one said " my dogs don't even come like that.
Then I decided to let the dogs out no them. By now I was showing off a little. I got the dogs doing their tricks and showing off their skills. Then I released them and the dogs scattered but none left the yard despite the dogs being in the part that was only fenced in cattle wire. (because they know if they cross the marked boundaries, I will go get them and they will be pinned up while the other dogs get to run around. the do NOT want me to go get them.)

They started asking questions like " how do you know horses can understand you." another was convinced one of my mares was angry because she was stomping, and I couldn't convince her that she was stomping to get an annoying fly off her leg.

I offered them some eggs but they were afraid they would have baby chickens in them and i had to explain the incubation process. They were very nice and excited but I could tel they had little experience with animals. It really blew them away I had cats that would rub up against my big dogs without the dogs chasing or snapping at them.

Finally one of the men wanted to see my chickens so I called them, and they came racing over. He was not expecting to see this. he thought they were fenced off somewhere instead of hanging out in the muscadine orchard eating pests. His grown son muttered in his ear " she's like some kind of animal whisper.. talker.. person kinda' thing"

I kept a strait face and said " no.... food goes a long way in influencing how fast animals come running." and that got them laughing. The grown son started talking about getting a pig, his mother said " no you do not want a pig" and he said " why not?! look how cute hers is" I spoke up "she's cute now but training them can be tough. It sometimes involves a lot of screaming from both of you" I was exaggerating, but the crazy thing is, only just a little. When a young pig pitches a tantrum they can get loud!

I enjoyed the visit but I felt a bit sad that these people had so little experience and knowledge of animals and our natural world. Training well behaved animals is not all that hard. You just have to be consistent, vigilant, use lots of positive reinforcement, and take the time to handle them every day. Even if it is only ten minutes to work on something a day. It is surprising how often I have had to explain this to people. My animals are not miraculous, and I don't have some magic touch, they are just loved and know the rules and know I will be consistant so there is no confusion.
I had a pub;ic speaking class and one girl knew some Amish and she was telling the class that the Amish trian their horses how to get home so if the kids who are in the time when they are allowed to enbibe in the outside world and get high on drugs or drunk the horse can get them home. it was all I could do not to laugh out loud and call her stupid. yes the horses can take you home, not because they are nessisarily "trained" as such but they know simply where home is and are therefore "conditioned" to go home without much assistance kinda like if you where at work and went home at the end of the day and didn't remember the drive or parts of it because you are "conditoned" so to speak so if nothing interupts your train of thought you automatically drive home either without really thinking about it, not because you are trained to do it, My great grandfather found out who my grandfather was dateing because he let the horse have the reigns one night on the way home in his buggy the horse took a sudden turn down a families farm lane waited a bit and when it realized no one was going to get out it continued home, so when he got home he had an idea what daughter he would more than likely be courting out of that family and yes he admitted he was dating my grandmother, due to the habits of the horse going home.
 
Before is spelled B-E-F-O-R-E, not B4. We speak English, not bingo.

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Been hearing this a lot lately;

Us "I'm short 1 (or 2) for a dozen chicken eggs. How 'bout if I throw in a couple of duck eggs?"

Customer (emphatically) "I don't like duck eggs!"

After a little discussion we hear this;

Customer "Well, I've never actually ate a duck egg. What are they like?"

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Tell them if they are doing any baking to try the duck eggs. They won't be sorry. My mother used to make some awesome cakes with duck eggs.
 
sorry.. but he got it wrong...

please check here http://www.snopes.com/food/prepare/msm.asp
If you think about it, MacDonalds couldn't put chicken, feathers and all, in a blender even if they wanted to. One, it would be illegal, but beyond that, they buy their chickens all degutted and defeathered like everyone else does. People get some of the strangest ideas in their head and there is no getting them out. I had an uncle who was sure all our milk was imported from Japan. He didn't see any dairies where he lived, so he came to the conclusion that we didn't have any here in the US. Therefore the milk came from Japan. Right along with the other imports like computers and cars. I never asked him about eggs.
 

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