Funniest Things A City Slicker Has Ever Said To You?

[FrizzleFreak]

so, my friends play farmville, and evidently the chickens there lay eggs that match the color of their feathers. for example, black chicken=black eggs, red chicken=red with stripes, etc. i thought i was going to puke- can you imagine the questions we're going to get now??

 

[PineappleMama]

Well heck, they make designer everything else... why not eggs too.

I think a nice pin stripe would be very slimming.

Side note, made strawberry freezer jam for the first time DH opens the container and says "This has strawberries in it."

Well... yeah.

Then I point out the pickles cooling on a towel on the table and say "Don't touch they have to sit for 12-24 hours"

"Hey, those look just like the Vlasic pickles"

Yeah... shocker.

Can't WAIT to hear what his mom says when she brings the kids home...

 

[dancingbear]

I have both brown egg layers and green egg layers. A gal was buying eggs from me, and she'd never seen any green eggs before. I told her they weren't ripe yet. She asked me, in all seriousness, how to tell when they're ripe.

A co-worker saw some little mini-eggs I was selling, when I had bantams, and she asked me if they were banty rooster eggs.

 

[crtrlovr]

This thread is so amusing, yet scary at the same time...

They're out there. Be afraid. Be VERY afraid. (or at least learn who they are and stay far away from them

 

[Puresilk]

A friend of mines wife asked when looking at our OEGB..."Whats that funny thing on top of that ones head?" I was speechless, lol....

 

[justbugged]

Quote:
This one had me busting up.

I take it that your SiL has never heard the saying "As rare as hens teeth". I am thinking that chickens with rabies would look a lot like a Gary Larson cartoon characters. I really think you could have a lot of fun scaring your SiL with all the things going on at your house.

We had my SiL convinced one time that the flying fish in Puget Sound were really bad, and that she would need to take extra care because of her skin color being darker than ours. She still wasn't sure that we were telling her stories, even when most of were laughing so hard that we couldn't catch our breaths. By the way there are no flying fish in Puget Sound.

This girl was raised in the area all of her life.

PS I just found this saying on another members signature line, and it so fits here. So I had to share "In the village that you don’t know, the chickens have teeth.~ Ivorian Proverb"

 

[Ema]

Quote:
This one had me busting up.

I take it that your SiL has never heard the saying "As rare as hens teeth". I am thinking that chickens with rabies would look a lot like a Gary Larson cartoon characters. I really think you could have a lot of fun scaring your SiL with all the things going on at your house.

We had my SiL convinced one time that the flying fish in Puget Sound were really bad, and that she would need to take extra care because of her skin color being darker than ours. She still wasn't sure that we were telling her stories, even when most of were laughing so hard that we couldn't catch our breaths. By the way there are no flying fish in Puget Sound.

This girl was raised in the area all of her life.

PS I just found this saying on another members signature line, and it so fits here. So I had to share "In the village that you don’t know, the chickens have teeth.~ Ivorian Proverb"

well lets just say my SIL really disapproves of our country living. She refuses to come up and visit us. And she sort of isn't the only one, I guess that during family get togethers we are the main source of conversation. you know how disgusting we are for mixing manure in my vegetable garden, and that we are all goign to die from E.coli. We are hicks cause we have a septic and drink water that comes from a well...which is filtered by the way...that I put my kids in danger because I let them play outside even though we have wolves and bears and other large predators...uhmm better than living in the city..been here 5 years the most we've heard of crime was a bike was stolen, in the city I got my house broken into 3 times in 6 months, 2 of my dogs were almost taken for backyard fighting, a prostitute was dumped at the parking lot of the corner coffee shop, and there was a murder down the street which turned out to be a meth house. ALL In 6 months..I will take my chances with the wildlife, and my vegetable garden, and my Rabied infested vampiric teeth chickens she is so afraid of....wait till I tell her we are getting a cow and a pig!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (BTW the cow was my daughters idea, she wants a milk cow so we can milk it every day and make fresh milk) proud of my super smart girl!!

 

[Preservation Acres]

I live in Tennessee, but I grew up in Louisiana.

I'm the one nutty guy in my neighborhood who has chickens, and from time to time I get strange looks.

I was at a neighbor's pool party, and someone asked me "So does everybody in Louisiana have chickens?"

I stopped myself before answering "Absolutely. It's a Louisiana state law. If you're found without chickens, they shoot you and feed you to the alligators."

 

[muddyhorse]

Ok I have to pick on our postmistress. the first time I had eggs shipped I came in to pick them up. she asked what was in the box I said eggs. Her "don't you know they sell those across the street"

Now when eggs come she calls as soon as they show up 7:30 am. Once I didn't know they were comeing tracking numbers people !!!! we were out of town she got ahold of one of my friends that has chickens and gave her the eggs to put in the bator

 

[SillyChicken]

It's a rabid-toothed-kid-eating-funky-colored-egg-layin-rooster-chicken!