Funniest Things A City Slicker Has Ever Said To You?

[gryeyes]

These aren't chicken OR farm related, but growing up on the Oregon coast, I encountered plenty of TOURISTS. They also had some odd ideas.

A father and his small son were sitting on a park bench, looking out to sea at Otter Rock. Son asked father, "What's that white stuff?" as he pointed at the massive rock separated from the shore. "That's millions and millions of years of salt build up, from the salt in the ocean."

Oh. As a precocious 13 year old, I had to correct him - politely - with the information that it might be millions and millions of years worth of bird guano, which neither rain nor salt water waves could wash off.

Tide pools are beautiful, full of lovely pebbles and sea anenomes and various sea weeds and hermit crabs and lots of pretty things. At low tide, there are many more of them to view. A toddler tripped and face-planted in one. His mother shrieked "Oh my GOD! Save him before the backwash takes him out!"

Did she really mean "rip tide," perhaps? That could certainly be a danger, IF THE WAVES WERE ANYWHERE NEAR THE TIDE POOLS COMPLETELY SURROUNDED BY OPEN SANDY BEACH.

 

[Telamon]

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lol !

 

[I have WHAT in my yard?]

Just happened yesterday.

Visitor pulls up to the bottom of our hill and walks up to the house. She gripes the entire way. Then she says, "You really need to complain to the township about that road! Your house has been here for years and they haven't paved that road yet?? And this HILL!?! My god why wouldn't they let you build it down there where it was FLAT!"

Um, that's not a road it is all my driveway and the township won't pave it! I wanted the house on the top of the hill for the view!!!??? Everything is some one else's responsibility and do what is easiest even if you miss the spectacular view we have from our deck! I don't think she ever saw it she was so busy complaining!

 

[Ema]

those of you have read my previous postings on this thread already know about my SIL....and someone mentioned I should just try to get her going as a joke...well lets just start by saying that my husband might need a serious smack to the back of the head!!

He ws having a conversation with his sister through messenger yesterday, I guess the topic went to the weather to the when are you comign home for a visit. Well I guess he mentioned the fact that maybe it should be her turn to come up. Well we all know that is not goign to happen because of how one sided she is about living in the country and how she thinks septic tanks and wells are gross and chickens have rabies and teeth??!!!

well he went on and started saying how things weren't all that bad and then said "I don't mind that she forces us to use the outhouse or refuses to buy toilet paper so we have to use leaves, that way the bathroom in th ehouse stays clean all the time and we save money and the environment at the same time"

well lets just say this morning I signed in to my messenger and she went off on me, she called me a german name I won't repeat on here, funny enough she is german herself and I am not!!! I was soo confussed. so I asked my husband what her issue was and why was she calling me these names...I have NEVER seen a grown man laugh so hard in my life...I mean he had tears comig out of his eyes.

Ok so he played a joke on her, but I am still waiting on him to tell her it was a joke. She deleted me off facebook and messenger...lol...BUT the most shocking part is that SHE BELIEVED HIM!!!

REALLY?? I have no words.,,...none to this minute when I mention it he still laughs...men think they are so hilarious!!

 

[Jeeper1540]

I hope this doesnt make you mad, but your SIL is an airhead! lol
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[Ema]

ya no worries....I said something less nice sort of combining the words dumb and another word for bottom!!!

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[mom'sfolly]

Ok, the talking of tides reminded me of one:

When I was in highschool, I had a summer job in an art gallery that catered to tourists. It was dockside, in Alaska, and it was one of the closest stores to the cruise ship docks. Folks who had been on a cruise ship for a week would walk into the store saying "smell that mountain air" and then proceed to ask what the elevation was. Ummmmmm, about ten feet?

 

[PineappleMama]

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Yeah, once you see what the 'fun' that bull had actually looks like coming out you're a lot more .... "prepared" ... bonus points if the heifer needs human help to get the job done... my sister's one of the ones that had a VERY rude awakening ... even after taking 'health' and Bio in school. Amazing the difference a front row seat will do for making a lesson stick.

But, I confess I am NOT looking forward to HSing Life Science Unit Four... Chapter 21... I KNOW it's need to know... but still... looking kiddo in the eye and KNOWING he's thinking "ohhh so that's what that racket was" is not something I'm looking forward too... especially since it'll mean getting caught in a lie... we told him we were putting the fitted sheet back on... *blush* what can I say, I panicked.

BackWash...

 

[luvchicks8]

My old (thank god) neighbor decided to get chickens (3) because his wife runs the local humane society and somone dropped them off. Well he built a small coop for them and about 4 months went by he kept complaining he never got an egg. So I said there is no way year old hens never layed an egg so I went up and got attacked rounding the corner by 3 very large roosters. Ah hello hense the crowing. He still did not believe they were roos not nice ones either.

 

[Jeeper1540]

heres a great one. My Aunt is over for 4th of July, and she isn't a City Slicker, per-say, but shes not from the country either lol. last night i was showing her our fresh eggs, and she said they were nice, and i proceded to explain "i have to white leghorns that lay the white eggs, and the rest lay brown eggs. next year we are planning on getting some chickens that lay green eggs" WHAT? GREEN EGGS? chickens lay green eggs? "yep they are called amaricaunas (sp?), or the hybrid type, which is called an Easter Egger." she was amazed at that

this morning she said "so do your chickens lay eggs everyday? i said "we get about 6 a day" "really? do you eat them?" "nope, just for decoration!" lol i almost said that last part. i couldnt believe it lol