Funniest Things A City Slicker Has Ever Said To You?

[angela56124]

" My chickens lay brown eggs."
"So whites eggs are bleached?"
"...No"

 

[angela56124]

This is alittle un-chicken related but... when you live on the Jersey Store...literally touching Seaside...

"Why aren't you a guidette...Why don't you have a jersey city accent...why aren't you orange... Why aren't you-"
"SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"

 

[peepacheep]

I grew up at the Jersey Shore. My family had an acre of vegetable garden, we sold the produce from a picnic table in the front yard along a busy road to Belmar and Bradley Beach. Sometimes folks from 'the City' would ask to see the garden. The most common question was 'Why grow vegetables when you can buy them at the store?" Upon seeing cotton and peanut plants people would say 'No, no, cotton and peanuts only grow in the South'... while they are standing in front of rows of cotton and peanuts plants. The best was when showing someone rows of popcorn that were almost ready to pick, they shook their head and said, 'You can't grow popcorn, that only comes from the store.'

 

[Kev]

And only Orville can! Take that!

 

[Cowgirl71]

I met my uncle Jim at my Mom's cousin's wedding last summer. My Uncle Jim believes that he is VERY smart, having done real well through college, lives in an expensive house, etc. Well this is the first time I've met him since moving to a farm, so he's asking a couple questions about it to be polite. Pretty soon he said something along the lines of...

"I can't understand why anyone would raise beef cattle. If you raise dairy cattle, then you can get milk and beef. You just milk the cow until she's to old, and then butcher her for prime juicy steaks."

For those of you who may not know, once a beef animal gets past 2-3 years old, he/she is only good for ground beef. An older dairy cow will have very low quality, tough, stringy meat, usually only good for dog food.

 

[cassie]

Quote:
In my part of the world old dairy cows go for ground beef not dog food. BTW, I think I got one of those "prime" steaks your uncle was talking about at a small rural eatery in Mexico a few years back. It was a once in a lifetime experience. Meaning I don't want to repeat it. Ever.

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

Quote:
In my part of the world old dairy cows go for ground beef not dog food. BTW, I think I got one of those "prime" steaks your uncle was talking about at a small rural eatery in Mexico a few years back. It was a once in a lifetime experience. Meaning I don't want to repeat it. Ever.

Hmmm, well dairy cattle breeds are not the same as beef cattle breeds.

 

[Shaun]

How to choose?

My work partner and I were driving along the road when we passed a farm that has a Longhorn cow. My partner looks at me with an amazed look on his face and says, "Did you see that bull back there?"
Trying to keep a straight face, I said, "No, I didn't."
"You didn't see it? The one with the huge horns?"
"That wasn't a bull, it was a cow."
"Of course it was a bull, didn't you see the horns?"
"Um - it isn't the horns that make the animal a male or female, you need to look a little lower."
Turning a bit red in the face, "Well, I know THAT."

And then, I swear to God, he said, "Are you SURE it wasn't a bull? In the cartoons, the bulls always have BIG horns like that."

After I started breathing again, we had a short tutorial on cattle breeds

 

[cowdogcadillac]

"I don't know why you go hunting,why don't you just buy your meat at the supermarket where no animals were harmed for the meat"

 

[welsummerchicks]

You know, I forgot that killing a beef cow didn't harm it. I totally forgot.

He could have meant that an explosive bolt to the head was preferable, pain wise, to running through the woods with your guts hanging out and some guy chasing you with a gun yelling, 'Don't worry, I'll take care of it!'

I can't say for sure, having experienced neither situation myself, but I'm going to guess that I would prefer either a killing shot to the head or a bolt, to running through the woods with my guts hanging out, and some guy chasing me with a gun.

I was also informed by a city slicker that has a horse at a boarding stable in the suburbs, that cattle can't get head shy, and that's why the way you kill a cow to butcher it should not be the same as the way you kill a horse to butcher it. 'Horses need a more humane way'.

A few weeks later I was at my friend's place and she informed me, 'don't get near that steer's head, he's head shy'.

I proceeded to spend a couple minutes feeding that steer and messing with him til he let me gently scratch him around the ears. He was still a little 'I don't know about this...it's probably not really ok'

Then I informed him that 'cattle don't get head shy'.

My friend thought that was extremely funny.

I did not bother going back to the city feller and telling him he was wrong. The statement he made was a part of his extremely complex reasoning about horses being slaughtered.

I envisioned a slaughter plant where when the horses start coming in, Pachabel's Canon starts to play, the lights go dim and soft, and a suave, soft voiced person in a black dinner jacket comes up with some carrots and says, 'May I show you to your temporary lounge area?'