Funniest Things A City Slicker Has Ever Said To You?

[FrizzleFreak]

If you can show me a head-shy dead horse (and prove it!) well...we'll put you in therapy to start with.

Okay, so I breed Partridge Wyandotte Bantams (my little boy took champion bantam, champion chicken, and reserve grand champion over all poultry at Oregon State Fair. We lost to a PIGEON?!) One lady comes up to me and asks what my little hen is, and I gladly tell her about my bird. Then I mention that the cock over there is her boyfriend. She says, "But they don't look anything alike!"
She's about 5'3", 70 pounds. Curly graying hair. Her hubby is 6'2", and to risk sounding impertinent, there's a lot of poundage there. He's got short straight black hair.
Really? MY birds don't look alike?

 

[welsummerchicks]

Respectfully, the head shyness was discussed as being a phenomenon that occured shortly BEFORE either a cow or a horse died. Or more accurately, was 'assisted' towards a more hasty death than it might otherwise experience, in the course of natural events, specifically, when said staff of said abbatoire reached over with the explosive bolt.

I just read a book called, 'How to Talk Like a Lawyer'

 

[Jeeper1540]

lol

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[Cowgirl71]

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Here's another thing that a dumb city-slicker said...

Fresh from the city, a 13 year old girl is riding on the back of the four-wheeler with her younger brother with the farm's previous owner driving them around, showing them the cows. As they slowly drive through the cows, the girl, trying to sound smart to this older farmer, says to her younger brother, pointing over to a horned Gelbvieh cow in amidst some polled Angus and Hereford cows "You see that cow over there with horns? That's the bull!" The farmer heard it, but just smiled and didn't say anything.

Well...... that dumb city-slicker was....ahem...um...uh...ME. *embarassed*


Very soon after that I learned differently, LOL. But now when I take city-slickers out on the four-wheeler just about all of them assume that the horned animals are bulls. I don't know why for sure, but I think it has to do with deer, moose, etc. Males have antlers/horns, and females are polled.

The worst part is describing to the city-slickers how to tell wether the "cow" is a male or female.

I was also always amused when I'd see them cowering on the four-wheeler as I stroked the bulging neck of our docile 2200# Angus bull.

R.I.P Mike.

 

[PineappleMama]

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Hehehe... I can just picture me trying to tell MIL or SIL... "IGNORE the horns, just LOOK 1 thing dangling = boy, several dangling = girl" and the HARUMPHS to follow... of course better these folk are assuming bull when it's a cow and not the other way... that's been known to cause some major problems come milking time.

 

[welsummerchicks]

Woman to eager husband carrying milking bucket toward an ill-chosen customer:

'Um...Honey....Huuuuneeee.....I think that's a boy cow!'

There are actually people who have quite intentionally, sent city slickers out to milk 'boy cows' and then done an 'intervention'.

It might be even more educational to have a thread called, 'tricks country folk play on city slickers'.

 

[Godsgrl]

Well now, I have to admit, I did think the longhorn animal in the field was a bull. That is until I stopped to get a picture, and noticed...well the dangly things, and the calf beside her. But I'm not a city slicker!

 

[GrannySue]

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And if you hold a guinea pig upside down by its tail, its eyes will fall out.

 

[GrannySue]

Ondra's Seramas :

LARGE ANIMALVET was checking my shetland sheep to see if they were healthy. Then he said "Very nice Angora goats".

One of my runner ducks was attacked by a hawk. She had huge puncture wounds in her neck. I washed them with water and a bit of Dettol but figured she should probably have antibiotics as well. Instead of taking her to the vet I took a photo of her wounds. The receptionist took the picture in to him and said he would be out after the next 2 patients to speak to me. About 1/2 hr later he appeared, photo and Baytril in hand and said, "Now, about this goose of yours ..."

 

[FrizzleFreak]

Okay, so country bumpkin story, to keep it fair...

I was hanging out at the theatre, and some girls were talking about an eclipse that was supposed to happen that night. I got super excited (lunar eclipses are cool!) and asked them when. They said that they were going to go at 10:00 pm.
So there I am, on the deck, at 10:00 at night, and then I realize how dumb I am...