Funniest Things A City Slicker Has Ever Said To You?

[txcarl1258]

When my DW and I were dating I had to chickens in the backyard. One day we went out to the coop and one of the pullets looked at her and clucked. I said to her "be careful she will peck your eyes out!". My DW jumped back and screamed in horror! I was laughing so hard I didn't even hear the profanity she was yelling at me. She didn't speak to me for a few days.

 

[Daisygirl]

Awesome thread!

So I was selling free range eggs, and talking to some people about the benefits. They eventually plucked up the courage to ask me how the hens in the battery cages lay eggs with no rooster around...the wife was under the impression that they had one roo per cage...
Also me and my friend were talking about when she had gone hunting (horses, competition; not looking for deer or anything) someone straight up asked her how they managed to tame the horse after they shot it in the woods...

 

[Daisygirl]

Oh and another one;
My cousin was looking after the chickens whilst we were away on our yacht for the weekend. Being a pretty capable 20 year old who has seen all the chooks, cats and such before, we assumed he would be alright.
He also works for our neighbour down the road, so when he came into work one afternoon, she asked him how everything was going (we had also said to give all the eggs to them). He said that he couldnt get the eggs that morning because the chickens were sitting on them, and it felt unnatural to push them off. She said that he better collect them tomorrow.
The next day he comes in and, when the same question was put fowards, admits he is afraid that the chickens would "bite" him. These being chooks looked after by three kids, they are cuddled up on a daily basis next to some toy or other, and are about as ferocious as the neighbour's fence. Also he mentioned that the now 12 eggs were sitting in a pyramid shape in the nest.
My neighbour says "Look, Sam, if you dont collect the eggs the chickens are going to break them and then eat them and then we will have to kill them because they will be no use. So do you want me to come over and get rid of them for you now, or are you going to go and collect those eggs?"
Looking slightly shaken, Sam went about his job then went back to our house.
The following afternoon Sam comes into work with a huge smile on his face, and three half dozen egg boxes. He recounts to my neighbour that he had waited until ALL the chickens had finished laying, standing outside by the fence for about 3 hours watching them all come out. Then he rushed in, grabbed the eggs, and rushed out again!

 

[Surehatch]

What a hilarious post

 

[colby318]

Lost an egg customer at work after he brought in an article in the paper from "Hints from Heloise". She stated white eggs and brown eggs taste the same. I got into a stupid argument with him over the diet of a free range hen versus factory farmed while shell color is irrevelent.
His answer was "whatever".
Funny thing though... whoever he told about me "ripping him off" became a new customer for me. He unknowingly drummed up a lot more business for my fresh eggs than I could ever do on my own.

 

[Boyd]

Quote:
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Sorry Boyd, after removing above comment, yours no longer applied--Cynthia)

 

[dkvart1]

Just joined BYC a couple of days ago and found this wonderful thread! Have been giggling all morning reading through it.

I was born and raised in the city and since I was five dreamed of living on a farm. Next spring the dream comes true (only took 47 years!!! hate when life has other plans) Anyway.... in a bird related story... I've never been as..uh... uninformed as some of the folks described here, having been exposed to nature in a variety of ways. Spent a lot of time hanging out on the farm where we boarded my horse, camping, had a cottage on the river. But despite this... well this story will illustrate that we all have our "off" days....

I was in my early 30's visiting my sister in late November one year, a cold frosty day... she was showing me the property her husband's boss owned. The weather was cold enough a thin layer of ice had formed on the pond. Suddenly we noticed several ducks in the pond, not moving at all. OMG! We drove around the pond so concerned about these poor ducks frozen in the pond! We hopped out of the car and raced down to the edge of the pond, all the time wondering how they ended up frozen there! Yup... you guess it ... DECOYS!! We laughed ourselves silly over that. Why the thought never occured to either of us is beyond me! Still have to shake my head and giggle when I think of it and makes me remember to be just a little humble!

Thanks for all the wonderful stories!

 

[Boyd]

Quote:
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Sorry Boyd, after removing above comment, yours no longer applied--Cynthia)

Thank you ma'am

 

[colby318]

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[Skittlez]

My high school had an ag class and we raised sheep. The high school had a barn and pasture behind the bus garage. Every year we would host a day for city kids to come for an ag class. One year we were showing a group the sheep and one of the boys said very quietly " Those are the funniest dogs I have ever seen. What kind of dogs are those?" I was so stunned, I didn't know what to tell him, but on the other hand I felt sorry for him too.