Funniest Things A City Slicker Has Ever Said To You?

[Back2MyRoots]

Heres my Fave


So I'm talking to my friend at school


Friend in green ) " I hate my moms chickens,they stink"
"Huh? No..." i say

"Ya, havent you smelt there coop?"

"Okay fine, your dog smells"

"No she doesnt !"

"Go smell her poop, then smell your chicken coop, both smell"

" I'm not talking about the chickens POOP, I'm talking about their COOP"

"Fine, smell a chicken, then smell your dog after shes had fun rolling around in her poop. Tell me which one smells better"


LOL!

Oh gosh, bless her heart! I, personally, love the smell of a sunshine-warmed chicken---it's all hay and sweet feed and fresh-cut grass and lovely! And once, after explaining this to my mother (who grew up on a farm, mind you), she freaked out and said "If you keep putting your face near those chickens you're going to get bird flu or salmonella or anthrax or something!"

 

[ForeverSunshine]

i've actually been asked this more than once.....
i work in a vet hospital and a guy called up one night because his dog had a tick on it's belly. He'd been pulling on it for a while and now it's bleeding. i asked what it looked like and he said it was skin color. He said now that he looks more closely, there's eight ticks in two rows down the dogs belly and should he pull all of them off. he was starting to panic thinking his yard was infested with ticks. i told him he could relax since these were clearly not ticks but the dogs nipples. oooowwww!

Are you serious? I cannot believe someone would actually think that.

Even if you know nothing about animals, you should be able to figure it out! It's common sense! Poor dog. It was probably like, "Ow. You're hurting me. Do you not have brains?"

Wow. My mind is blown.

 

[llandry]

When I read some of these stories, I am scared to death for the future of our country and for humans in general. And I know these stories are TRUE because I meet people all the time that I'm quite certain could not find their way out of a wet grocery sac.

Haha! i couldn't have said it better. My husband and i commonly refer to these people as "the ones who'd run to the boiler room as the titanic was going down".

 

[CochinBrahmaLover]

Oh gosh, bless her heart! I, personally, love the smell of a sunshine-warmed chicken---it's all hay and sweet feed and fresh-cut grass and lovely! And once, after explaining this to my mother (who grew up on a farm, mind you), she freaked out and said "If you keep putting your face near those chickens you're going to get bird flu or salmonella or anthrax or something!"

LOL !! I know ,they smell sooo good ! And turkeys have a kinda sweet musk to them, making their smell stronger. Oh, and Guineas smell sooo good. Like a carnation mixed with chicken !!! xD

 

[UmmmLetMeThink]

Hmm...

I took a pic of my little chick ontop of an egg , my grandma asks
"Did it lay that?!"
I reply "Yes .yes it did." sarcastic of course
"Wow ! But it's so small !"
I just walk away..

 

[SkyWarrior]

My favorite one came from my mom when she was alive.
She said, "I hate mule deer."
Me: "Why?"
Mom: "The mules ruined the deer."
Me: "Whaaa???"

I had to explain that mules can't mate with deer and that, in fact, mules can't produce viable offspring.

 

[SkyWarrior]

My daughter who was 14 at the time wouldn't believe me when I told her hamburger was cow.

Its funny how we get odd little beliefs in our heads. Farms have chickens and farms have roosters. They must naturally go together, so you assume you need both to get eggs. But if you think deeper on the subject logic tells you the rooster isn't necessary. but there is no reason for most people to put that much thought into it. And so they don't.

Same thing about dirty eggs. As a society we don't eat dead things, and we don't eat things that have been on the ground. Its unsanitary and disgusting. But if you are like us, and know where your food comes from, then you realize that we actually eat dead things and things that have been on or under the ground all the time. Its just a matter of perspective.

Personally I would rather not buy eggs or chicken from the grocery store, but sadly local farmers in my area seem to think their chickens are made of solid silver and I simply cant afford their prices, Their perspective is that they have free range, hormone free, drug free birds that health nuts and yuppies are willing to buy. My perspective is that its ......a chicken. And so, they priced me right out of their market. I know they say the small farms spend more raising the chickens than the Factory farms do, but If you think about it, that cant really be true. Antibiotics are expensive and Antidepressants are even more expensive So constantly dumping Both antibiotics and anti depressants into the water supply for a massive factory farm every day for a year has got to cost a massive amount.

Just my 2 cents.


Riki

Others have probably said it, but I want to add my 2 cents.

Factory farms run for profit. Cheap eggs and chicken come from less than ideal conditions and the feed is created to keep the ammonia smell down (watch Modern Marvels about eggs sometime). The chickens I saw had pale combs and wattles and left me wondering if they would live past a year anyway, crammed in those tiny cages and fed whatever they feed. Even my husband who is not against mass production of food disliked the conditions. He's a pragmatist, but even he could see the issues surrounding the overcrowded conditions.

Antibiotics for livestock are cheap; good conditions are expensive. That's why factory farm foods are cheaper. They are willing to do cheap fixes and are willing to take a loss. They use factory leghorns and production reds for eggs that lay 5-6 eggs a week and kill the birds after a year, using the meat for dog food or chicken-like substances. Most small farms use heritage breeds that don't usually lay as often. Meat birds are typically Plymouth Rock and Cornish crosses at a factory farm. Many small farms use those but also butcher heritage breeds as well. I don't know what the factories feed their birds, but my birds taste better, even the cornish cross birds.

Both my husband and I hated eggs before eating real farm fresh eggs. Chicken was bland meat before we raised our own. Yes, you can taste the difference. It's not cheap to run a small farm, and feed is stupidly expensive now. I pay more than $16 for 50 lbs, and that's not even organic. I figure when I'm done raising a turkey, my turkeys will cost me somewhere around $50 to $100, but honestly, the meat is so good, I wouldn't have it any other way.

I don't fault you for having to budget, but at some point you must decide whether it's worth your health to keep eating foods that are laced with antibiotics and other chemicals, or if you'll make a positive change for your health. I price my eggs at $3.50/dozen and I'm maybe breaking even. When you can buy eggs for less than $2 a dozen at the store, sometimes it doesn't seem cost effective. But then, I don't have to eat what you do.

Don't fault the small farmer. They're doing their best.

 

[Back2MyRoots]

Others have probably said it, but I want to add my 2 cents.

Factory farms run for profit. Cheap eggs and chicken come from less than ideal conditions and the feed is created to keep the ammonia smell down (watch Modern Marvels about eggs sometime). The chickens I saw had pale combs and wattles and left me wondering if they would live past a year anyway, crammed in those tiny cages and fed whatever they feed. Even my husband who is not against mass production of food disliked the conditions. He's a pragmatist, but even he could see the issues surrounding the overcrowded conditions.

Antibiotics for livestock are cheap; good conditions are expensive. That's why factory farm foods are cheaper. They are willing to do cheap fixes and are willing to take a loss. They use factory leghorns and production reds for eggs that lay 5-6 eggs a week and kill the birds after a year, using the meat for dog food or chicken-like substances. Most small farms use heritage breeds that don't usually lay as often. Meat birds are typically Plymouth Rock and Cornish crosses at a factory farm. Many small farms use those but also butcher heritage breeds as well. I don't know what the factories feed their birds, but my birds taste better, even the cornish cross birds.

Both my husband and I hated eggs before eating real farm fresh eggs. Chicken was bland meat before we raised our own. Yes, you can taste the difference. It's not cheap to run a small farm, and feed is stupidly expensive now. I pay more than $16 for 50 lbs, and that's not even organic. I figure when I'm done raising a turkey, my turkeys will cost me somewhere around $50 to $100, but honestly, the meat is so good, I wouldn't have it any other way.

I don't fault you for having to budget, but at some point you must decide whether it's worth your health to keep eating foods that are laced with antibiotics and other chemicals, or if you'll make a positive change for your health. I price my eggs at $3.50/dozen and I'm maybe breaking even. When you can buy eggs for less than $2 a dozen at the store, sometimes it doesn't seem cost effective. But then, I don't have to eat what you do.

Don't fault the small farmer. They're doing their best.

 

[rikithemonk]

Others have probably said it, but I want to add my 2 cents.

I don't fault you for having to budget, but at some point you must decide whether it's worth your health to keep eating foods that are laced with antibiotics and other chemicals, or if you'll make a positive change for your health. I price my eggs at $3.50/dozen and I'm maybe breaking even. When you can buy eggs for less than $2 a dozen at the store, sometimes it doesn't seem cost effective. But then, I don't have to eat what you do.

Don't fault the small farmer. They're doing their best.

I don't have a problem with that. I would be willing to pay $4.50 for a dozen eggs, that's reasonable. I don't mind paying more for a better product, but some of these farmers aren't realistic in my opinion. Take milk for example. One guy near me sells raw milk for $7.50 a half gallon. A pound of cheese for $30.00. Chickens seem to be any ware from $8 to $10 per pound, depending on the farm. I would like to eat their products, and support local farms, but I cant afford any ware near those prices for weekly groceries. Not many in this country have that much disposable income anymore.

Riki

 

[FireTigeris]

I don't have a problem with that. I would be willing to pay $4.50 for a dozen eggs, that's reasonable. I don't mind paying more for a better product, but some of these farmers aren't realistic in my opinion. Take milk for example. One guy near me sells raw milk for $7.50 a half gallon. A pound of cheese for $30.00. Chickens seem to be any ware from $8 to $10 per pound, depending on the farm. I would like to eat their products, and support local farms, but I cant afford any ware near those prices for weekly groceries. Not many in this country have that much disposable income anymore.

Riki

Talk to them about why their prices are what they are- you might be surprised. Even the Meat bird section here calculates the cost per pound in meat (to the farmer) at around $3-6 a # not including time or disposable supplies/packing materials or transportation to market.

Here you "can't" get raw milk at all- if you can it's $10-12 a gallon, 1/2 gallon being $7-8...( for pet consumption only as per Fl law...) [ source: http://realmilk.com/where02.html#fl ]