I don't often ask for help but....

[WingingIt]

I'm praying, too. I didn't read all of the responses, just skimmed looking for your posts, so someone has probably already said this:

Once you've had the conversation, you need to get it in writing, legally. It's very easy to want to follow someone's wishes, but if someone has another agenda, you need to have proof of what those wishes are.

We're praying hard, Boyd.

 

[crazy goose lover]

Boyd, I am an oncology social worker. I work on an oncology unit at a hospital. There should be a social worker somewhere in your daughters treatment team. Maybe at the doctors office, maybe at the hospital or where she is getting treatment. Try to find the social worker. They are trained in helping families deal with these situations. They know how to help facilitate the tough conversations and get the legal ends taken care of for you. Ask the doctor who helps people he treats with these issues. Some places use chaplins some use paliative care nurses, but all places should have someone who can guide you through this. You are right, children should not go first, but sadly they do and there are people who have been through it that can help guide you. Best wishes to you and your entire family.

 

[wolftracks]

Boyd I've had so many horrible things happen with my family. I've lost so many including a son. Lots of prayers coming from here and I'm sending to my daughter's ex MIL and my Grandmother to start prayer circles at their churches. I never post on my FB page, but I'm doing it there for you too.

I think she probably needs to talk to you and might not know how to start a conversation. My oldest daughter has had Ovarian Cancer twice. She just had a hysterectomy acouple of months ago. The second time they found it she was pregnant with my youngest grand daughter and wanted to wait, so we have our beautiful little (she was Grandpa's Princess) and she's healthy and happy and smart. My daughter seemed like she had wanted to talk to us one day the first time she had it and finally my husband asked if she had things in order and did we get the kids. She let out a breath and said "YES! Didn't know how to start this." She had just had a will drawn up. She hadn't added us as the guardians, because she thought we may not want to be stuck with kids our whole lives, but her first 4 are much older now. Since she remarried and since my husband died, the will has been changed. My SIL will get the kids. If something else happens my sister will get the kids and the house for them (she's 14 years younger than me and has a 5 year old.) The thing is she got things together and made sure the kids were safe. We tried for 4 years to get one of our grand daughters. My daughters all tried, 2 cousins and it still didn't help. She ended up being adopted. It tore us up.

My husband died the day after he had decided on a life insurance policy and the papers were never signed and mailed. He wanted me to look at the the next day (a Monday) and then he was going to file them. It has made it so hard here since he was the earner.

Things like this are hard enough when there is nothing in writing to help if things go wrong. I've met so many young widows and widowers lately as young as 19. You just never ever know, no matter if there's illness or just someone walking across a street. Most younger people never think about it, because life is supposed to be forever. Even some of us older people never expect anything. I know we had so many plans and within hours all of it changed.

I would also talk to her about a temporary joint custody. That way if she becomes too ill, you have the ability to take care of their needs, should something arise.

OK I tried to post earlier, but started crying and now it's a novel. Just know we all care about you and we're praying for her to come out of this with flying colors. Still the paperwork should be done no matter what. I hope things work out. I really really do. I just feel so badly for you and her right now to have to deal with this. I always enjoy reading your posts and it seems so many lately that help me to laugh when I thought I never would again are having so many troubles.

OK gotta get those prayer circles going.

 

[ibpboo]

and prayers

 

[booker81]

 

[sourland]

Prayers offered up.

 

[Boyd]

Quote:

Michelle, I will probably take you up on this soon

She is still getting lots of use out of those bandannas/head wraps

 

[Boyd]

Quote:

 

[melodie_a]

I am so sorry. I'll keep your family in my prayers.

 

[RAWR]

ima praying, Boyd!